kerpingtack: cute drawing of japanese candy: pink blue white (bauble crie)

Oh god, it was SO FUN. So joyful! So good!! I LOVE STUART. TEN TONS OF CHARM. ahhhlakjdfs;l all my high school passion for my high school-favorite band!!!!

whole foods vs. trader joe's )
kerpingtack: i'm a poseur about this i've only seen the cartoon twice (hepcat)

I was super upset and depressed yesterday over fandom matters, but I'm trying to reorient my approach so I stop caring as much, lol. Everyone is  petty and pathetic, that's just the bottom line. I don't know why I keep trying to get around that to give people more credit than they're due.

Practicing translating a lot these days. It's tough; my vocabulary is still really lacking and I have to research and guess by context A LOT. ; __ ; Still I think this modicrum of productivity is good. It takes me away from being a total consumer. I eat much too much media.

I listened to Belle & Sebastian's The Life Pursuit this morning on the drive to work. I have really strong memories associated with that album. I relied on it a lot in the beginning of 2006. Nothing makes you feel as new and old and the same and different all at once like music does. We Are the Sleepyheads is still one of my favorite songs in the world. "So I took a turn to myself -! And I was surprised, because I saw everyone who ever I had loved - I felt, a whole lot better, after that."

My hair is really weird.

I was so tired this morning, I felt like I was about to tip off the face of the universe. I had a dream that two difficult clients called the house phone to complain. Hahaha. I hate phones!!!!

This is such a dull entry. Sorry about my boring life!


tig tag

Aug. 9th, 2009 07:26 pm
kerpingtack: alec baldwin in beetlejuice (CHEKRD SHRT + GLASSES = YES YES YES!!)
Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, answer these questions. Try not to repeat a song title.

Pick your artist: Belle & Sebastian

summer and winter, winter and springtime )

Pick your artist: The Beatles

so much younger than today )

I could've been more creative I think but my brainzzz, they are worn out.
kerpingtack: google image of stained glass (candy floss)

I used the digital camera that my family bequeathed to me for the Summer to check my outfit today. (<-- vain) Um, holy crap. I can seriously look like a CHILD. Like a fucking 10-yr-old. I am not exaggerating. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?? I am 20!! What the fuuuuuuck. I thought everyone was smoking crack for telling me that I looked like a middle schooler, since I was convinced that I looked AT LEAST 16, but I see where they're coming from now. My face is small. Or something. :( I wouldn't say that my body's childlike but it's not overwhelmingly identifiable as an adult's body. Meaning I'm short-limbed and my boobs are small. :( Christ I hope this isn't advertising for pervs. Pervs, I'd like to let you know that I smell strongly of whatever kills your boner the fastest and I'm a psychic undercover cop with great ability to put your ass in jail. Also, I will remind you of your mother. Unless you have an Oedipus complex. Then I will just stab your eyes out.

adj; confused by affection or infatuation
Apparently you can't verb this but I don't care. Verbing is what English is all about! This word twitterpates me!

I'm taking a class on sociology of gender. It is the most boring class. I'm really keen on the subject but the professor sucks all the relevancy and interest out of it like some kind of dull, pleasant vampire. However, yesterday we watched a documentary called "Beyond Killing Us Softly" that made me my smile a little wobbly with emotion. One of the things I really loved was the end of a lecture by Gail Dines, I think? She said something like, "Women don't hate each other. We don't hate her [woman in an advertisement]. We love her. We love her so much that we fought for her right to vote, right to go to school, right to speak. Women love each other." That is really a glass half-full mentality. It works better for your morale than the glass half-empty one, which is "We don't love her enough to keep her from... everything else." I swear, we are regressing. We're back in the 80s or something. But it's nice to see it that way. I need that reminder, that history is really not just about the space between what is and what should be, it can also be about the space between what was and what is. It was also nice to see this really solid, real as hell 13-yr-old girl who had her head the fuck on. She was so smart and thoughtful and cool. *wants to be that 13-yr-old girl* 

Man, I hate looking for new music. I'm getting quite tired of indie cute songs about summer and kissing with little chimes going off in the background. For gods sakes, I know that you can't actually sing, but can't you at least try to punch up your song a bit? Make it KIND OF interesting? Everything sounds soooooo alike.

Unexpectedly serious question: what makes rapists redeemable? At least fictional rapists in pop culture. I forget why I started thinking about this, but that Chuck Bass guy from Gossip Girls certainly came to mind. I don't get why he's so popular?? I thought he like DATE RAPED a girl in the first fucking episode, or attempted to, or something. Like what's his face in Torchwood and Dick Casablancas in Veronica Mars and every single male character in the deplorable manga Hot Gimmick. But they aren't reviled or anything, especially not by female fans. It's just really strange to me. How do you get over the HE'S A DATE RAPIST part? It's not like you can DATE RAPE for justice. I understand that part of the problem of the way society treats rape and rapists is that there's a tendency to view them as aberrant, ie rape is really rare and rapists are always Bad Evil People, and I don't know any Bad Evil People so I don't know any rapists, blah blah. So in a way, it's good to flesh out rapists so we can see how they legitimize rape?...? Rapists are people too, and ignoring that is ignoring part of the problem. I don't know. I don't get how that leads to actively liking the character. You can understand him without EMPATHIZING with him. It could just be appreciation for a fictionally interesting character, but... these characters have actual fans. The only explanation I can think of is too depressing: the fans don't care. Date Rapist is cute! He didn't mean it! The girl who was DATE RAPED is negligible! Oh god, I don't get it. HE DATE RAPED SOMEONE! OMG.

I am forever on a hunt for an actual .mp3 of Disney's "A Cowboy Needs A Horse." Every time I search for it, I get like 90% porn and 10% random stuff like "Save A Horse (Ride A Cowboy)." The closest I have is the converted youtube file of the video. Hmph. The internet is supposed to be good at fulfilling nostalgia! 

I'm also forever looking for this mysterious file. I WANT THIS SO MUCH. IT IS KILLING ME. I put up a request on beatlefiles, I downloaded the London Town bootleg (how many are there??), I googled endless combinations of "paul," "story," "kids," "mary," "stella," "song," "fairies," "monster," "nice," "WHERE THE FUCK IS IT," all to no avail. I'M DYING.

While we are on the subject of Paul (ahahah, like I need an excuse), I listened to Beatles for Sale for the first time a couple of days ago and went completely verklempt when I heard "I'll Follow the Sun." I don't quite know why. But it's so content and hopeful and clear-eyed. I watched "The Space Within Us" over the weekend, which is a concert DVD of his 2005 tour across America and it's all about Paul and his fans, the personal history each of them had with him. Anyway he played that song there (and kept fake-ending the song over and over again, hee), just this short song that he wrote when he was 16 and that ended up on one of their lesser known records and the audience still knew it and loved it. It's one thing to hear someone say, "Tomorrow may rain, so I'll follow the sun," and it's another to know that that's what he's done, or tried to do, all these years. "Unflagging optimism" is not manic denial, it's this, this calm promise-full song for everyone. You believe him when he sings it, is what I'm saying. And once I heard "Kansas City/Hey Hey Hey," I kind of realized that I'd really love to hear him sing anything. I LOVE YOU PAUL. 

Vwoop! I'm going to link that with someone else I loooove and would like to hear sing everything in the world: Stuart Murdoch! I'm pleased as punch that the Fluxblog guy likes Stuart, since I really like his taste in music and the way he writes about it and um yeah that's it! I totes agree with his thoughts on the God Help the Girl album:

I just kinda what him to make a Belle & Sebastian record, you know? I understand why he’d want to do this, but to me, it’s just dicking around. I want to hear him sing!
Yes, Stuart, the concept is cool and all, but I NEED YOUUU. The whole point of Belle & Sebastian, to me, is Stuart Murdoch. Okay, that's not strictly true; it's unfair to the other members, especially given how collaborative the later albums are. But in many ways Stuart IS the band and the voice and he makes everything sound more interesting and yess, Fluxblog guy, I don't want to hear anyone singing his songs but him! :<

Okay the problem with doing stream-of-whatever entries like this is that there's no elegant way to end them.

kerpingtack: corgis on the beach where the corgis are free (call it freedom in an old age)
You might be wondering, "Why the heavens is mine goodly frond counttheplanes up so early?" Wonder no more, for I will tell you: THERE IS A FUCKING FLY IN HERE AND I CANNOT FUCKING SLEEP WITH A FLY CONSTANTLY DIVEBOMBING NEAR MY HEAD.




*cleansing breath*

I had a dream that I was participating in some weird musical test/obstacle course and the person who finished first got a mysterious prize. I did everything upto the last part. I was all tired and it seemed like too much effort at the time so I was like, I'll finish this shit later~ so I went out with my fambly to eat and run errands and stuff. Later I came back and finished it and it turns out I was still the first one done. The ever-mysterious "They" told me my prize was at home. I thought it was like a meeting with Pete Wentz or something so I was all, ~great~ but when I got home, THE PRIZE WAS STUART MURDOCH. *_______* I was all omg Stuart Murdoch, if I knew it was you I wouldn't have taken so long to finish the course, and he was like "No, don't worry about it!" I thought it was just going to be a quick meeting but Stuart M. said that he could stay for a while. I think he was hungry. He rummaged through our kitchen and ~helped himself to a lot, and was like "Do you have pancakes? I could really go for some pancakes." I recognized that he was being a wee bit entitled but I was like THIS IS WHAT HE'S USED TO (?? in life? from fans?? idk what) and was *______* all the same. LOLLO HE ANNOYED MY MOM. She was like, "When is he going to leave? >:|" I'm sure Stuart can be a douchebag but I don't think he'd be a douchebag in this way, dream. IT WOULDN'T MATTER ANYWAY. (I ended up making pancakes for him.) STUUUUUUUARTTTT. *______*

That fucking fly woke my sister up too!! UGHHHHH FLY.

I LOVE THIS. AND HIM. Embarrassingly enough, my disco love IS about ~the music~. I really really like his voice. Put out your new album, disco.
kerpingtack: sarah with a fine moustache (sarah thinks you look ridiculous)
I had a really weird dream. Quelle surprise! I don't remember much of it but here's the part I DO remember:

I was online and read someone saying, "well now that Stuart is going solo" and I went WHAT and looked back on his Diary entries and sure enough, on March 2007 he wrote "By this time next year I will be a solo artist, Stevie will be too" or something to that effect. I was all HOW DID I MISS THIS and somehow I knew (I read an interview? there was a statement on the website? you know how in dreams you just KNOW things, whatever) that Sarah and Stevie were like yeah since the last few songs were so heavily Stuart in the melody and such, it made sense that he would work by himself. OR SOMETHING. I don't know what would've happened to the rest of B&S. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN SONGS LIKE "ANOTHER SATURDAY" ARE RELEASED IN JUST STUART'S NAME!!

I also watched an interview from before he went ~solo~ where the interviewer asked about how the band worked and Stuart said something like "Everyone brings their own thing. It's like a study group, we help each out on homework." And then the interviewer asked Stuart about who was the best student then (I don't know, this dream was so weird) and Stuart was like "Well obviously Stevie has top marks. He's in open tea (???? even in the dream I was like it must be a UK thing), he's in grad school and is teaching others." Or something. And Stuart went on, "And Richard..." ~pause~ "Richard writes songs that attract... a lot of pretentious girls into the house." He said it with a lot of distate and weariness! Stuart and Richard I guess were still roomies in this dream. OR SOMETHING. And then Stuart stood up and was like, "That's who I hate the most! Pretentious girls!" and the audience was all cheering. LOL WHAT?!?!?! BRAIN YOU ARE SO WEIRD. Of course in a stroke of realism, in the dream I was worrying AM I A PRETENTIOUS GIRL?? DOES STUART HATE ME?? But that's really ridiculous, because Stuart has nothing but fondness for his wife. *crazy*

There was also some other part with like these two kids who were being taken away from their dad in a weird divorce thing, I don't even know, and they were going in a motocycle gang or something, and the little girl was stubbornly travelling on the little pink battery operated motorcycle that her dad bought her. Listen I have no control over my brain, NONE whatsoever.


Nov. 23rd, 2008 10:15 pm
kerpingtack: sarah with a fine moustache (sarah thinks you look ridiculous)
So I have two education papers that will take me a long time to finish, and they are both due next Monday. I will be at home Tuesday - Sunday and I know I will not get any work done then. I have done NOTHING for these papers.

I felt so incredibly fucked up this whole weekend.

Pictures for cheering up!

groovy love song, halle, hallelujah! )

kerpingtack: corgis on the beach where the corgis are free (Default)
Sometimes I feel like I'm never going to be close to anyone. Maybe it's just this quarter and how far away from everything I feel. I'm listening to We Are the Sleepyheads b/c I didn't listen to it on my birthday and I'm due. I had an intense desire to somehow be able to reach through the whole technical apparatus and reach what makes me feel the way I do when I listen to the song. What is that thing? How can I reach it?

I'm probably never going to be close to anything except my own pettiness and selfishness. And self-loathing! I probably don't deserve the closeness. I'm honestly so tired of being myself. I really do wish I could stop living. If I let myself feel it, it's all unbearable.

The Life Pursuit, especially We Are the Sleepyheads and Act of the Apostle, remind me of senior year of high school.


Oct. 19th, 2008 02:35 pm
kerpingtack: corgis on the beach where the corgis are free (call it freedom in an old age)
Half written today, half written yesterday.

I just came in from shopping at the farmer's market. OMG I feel so accomplished and adult-like. I don't know if I'm registered to vote and I don't know how to get a Ralph's card, but I went shopping at the farmer's market motherfucker! I spent $8 on two pomengranates and four marsh grapefruits. The pomengranates are technically not ripe yet I don't think (it's supposed to be late late October/early November?) but these looked so sexxxy, I couldn't leave them alone.

I realized yesterday that I am inadvertantantly (spelling ommmg) turning into a vegetarian, as I basically had no meat whatsoever the past week. ~So healthy.~ :d I hate using money though. It's too much on top of all the money I'm wasting academically. Hallo hallo guilt.

I've been sort of skating around thinking too very much about the election, and mostly it was morbid brace yourself, McCain's going to win, President Palin is nigh stuff. But I just saw a macro of Obama holding a (non-photoshopped) box of donuts and for some reason THAT was the thing that made me completely freak out. "OH MY GOD I WANT OBAMA TO BE PRESIDENT. IF OBAMA DOESN'T WIN I WILL HAVE TO KILL MYSELF IN THE FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I SERIOUSLY WILL HAVE TO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" WE NEED A PRESIDENT WHO CAN HOLD A NON-PHOTOSHOPPED BOX OF DONUTS. What. What. I don't know.

That Brothers and Sisters show is fucking with me because it's abbreviated as B&S so I keep going WOW PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT B&S!! and it's not my B&S. :(((

I looked like a cowgirl today yesterday and I kind of enjoyed it. I'm wore this bustley skirt with a belt thing (skirt was suddenly too big for me. I think I've lost some weight or something b/c I don't know how to feed myself) and a tanktop. Boy howdy! Now I look quite 60s French. Short sleeved knitted black shirt with white and black polka dotted skirt. The shirt is lumpy and shapeless! 

Things the internet is amazing at: building creative communities. Youtube, flickr, etsy, etc. I've been going through Olivia Bee's flickr photostream for like three hours. The photos are very beautiful on their own, but they're dramatically remarkable considering that she's only fourteen years old. The photos have such a mature tone and such a mature grasp of color, like professional; I wouldn't have guessed she was an amateur, let alone that freaking young. I'm kind of fascinated. It almost both demystifies and mystifies the process of photography for me. Or in general, image culture (is that the right term?). I mean a lot of her pictures draw on the romanticism of young girls in dresses especially outdoors by fences and trees etc. I guess I'm saying that I realized that you have to have an eye for that kind of thing to set it up, and that you have to set it up in general, and it's all more striking because she's so young, so it's like she's realizing the previous generation's nostalgia and idealization of the past. Ahaha I'm projecting. She seems like a retro kid though. It's very precocious, and I don't mean that in a condescending way at all. But I'm trying not to get too fixated on her age. It's just a very cool situation, especially since she uses her friends as models and thinking about that versus an adult artist using their friends in their work and just wow, demystification/mystification!  

Belle and Sebastian's Chalet Lines is almost bruisingly beautiful, it's like a brick being thrown into your heart. It's brutal in how measured it is, how beautiful, in Stuart's voice, the words, and it seems so real, it's devastating. I don't think it's exploitative. It's a song about hurt and reactions to it, a person and people.
kerpingtack: alec baldwin in beetlejuice (CHEKRD SHRT + GLASSES = YES YES YES!!)

Hammer Museum
3 From 33 1/3

33 1/3 is a series of books about a wide variety of seminal rock and pop albums. Join three of the authors for readings and special multimedia presentations. Hayden Childs’s Shoot Out the Lights puts into context Richard and Linda Thompson’s album—from the personal history driving the songs, to the recording difficulties they encountered and the subsequent fall-out. He has appeared in Lost in the Grooves: Scram’s Capricious Guide to the Music You Missed. Kim Cooper’s In the Aeroplane Over the Sea sheds light on the underground classic album by Neutral Milk Hotel. Cooper is the editor of Scram, and co-editor of the anthologies Bubblegum Music is the Naked Truth and Lost in the Grooves: Scram’s Capricious Guide to the Music You Missed. Scott Plagenhoef’s If You’re Feeling Sinister provides perspective on how Belle & Sebastian transformed from a cult secret into a polished, highly entertaining, mainstream pop group. He is the Editor-in-Chief of Pitchfork.

LOL OMG Pitchfork. This is going to be a douchefest.

... I'm going to attend the fuck out of this. DDDD: B&S, you've really got a hold on me.

Favorite Singers
(sans l'ordre particulier)

Stuart Murdoch (B&S)
Nina Simone
Sam Cooke
Fujiwara Moto (BUMP)
Neko Case
Liz Phair
Brendon Urie (disco)
Minagawa Junko (... Prince of Tennis)
Bob Dylan
Jim Adkins (Jimmy Eat World)
Mama Cass Elliot
Sue Tompkins (Life Without Buildings)
kerpingtack: alec baldwin in beetlejuice (CHEKRD SHRT + GLASSES = YES YES YES!!)
I'm all unpacked and on the internets now. Still have not gone to the counsellor's, but I did try today! It's just that they were all booked up within the first hour. Awesome, that means I get to wake up hella early tomorrow. I GOT UP EARLY TODAY. >(

I don't give a fuck, I'm excited about the Killers' new album. I trust douchey ol bflow.

NOT AS EXCITED AS I AM ABOUT B&S'S BBC SESSION COMPILATION ALBUM THOUGH. Oh look at that cover! I was going to say that this just makes me hungrier for a new album, but like breathing makes me hungry for a new B&S album, so whatever. It's so nice that they do this sort of thing, like with Push Barman and all, like going through their back-catalogue and re-releasing things all organized and pretty and affordable. B&S is so good to its fans/people who like music. I wish I had a record player and a hack for unlimited monies so I could buy everything on vinyl.

Okay I am a creeper and I feel really bad at looking at all those private fambly photos of bden at Disneyland and at uhhh hoam. INVASIVE. :(((( It's not like those other pixx of his fambly that leaked b/c those seemed like they were posed at a concerty backstage area? Maybe I'm rationalizing. ANYWAY I CAN'T RATIONALIZE THESE PICS. Ughh it's so clear in them that it is just a big fambly happy outing/chillaxing at home and were taken just b/c the fambly loves each other and wanted to take pix of each other and bden is just being bden, youngest child of the Uries not bden, Public Figure and there is one of those pictures that rollercoasters take of you in the ride and ughhhh it is not supposed to be shared all over the place with people who don't know them and I was all staring at his siblings and nephews/nieces and parents and stuff and I saved one picture but only one and I just feel :(( about clicking ALL OF THE LINKS and rubbing my eyeballs over them like searchlights like Spongebob and Patrick in that one episode but I was just so curious b/c I AM A STALKER. WHY DON'T CELEBS/PEOPLE RELATED TO CELEBS UNDERSTAND HOW THE INTERNETS WORK?? DON'T EVER PUT PRIVATE FOTOS UP! THE INTERNET IS FULL OF CREEPERS, TRUST ME I KNOW

Oh on ontd there's an entry about Princess Diana's personal letters to her nanny being auctioned off. THAT IS CREEPY AND DISRESPECTFUL TOO. DDD:

Apparently SPN is good again? As good as SPN can be, anyway. Ugh. I'm sort of disgruntled. I buried it and purged my laptop of all the related pixx and vids and links and whatever b/c s3 made me bitter and stuff for being SO INVESTED in a show that ugh. Ugh! I never stopped being fond of JA and JP though so I will prolly czech s4 out someday.

I really like the way I unpacked all my shit. It's very tight and neat. Wot wot.

Oh I forgot to tell you, mon blog beloved, that I finally got my haircut trimmed on Thursday and I asked for my bangs to be cut too short and now I look like an effeminate boy/confused hipster lesbian. Or Annyong from Arrested Development. I don't know what about it makes me look "confused" but whatever, I've been saying it to everyone anyway.

I am the most awkward person in the universe. Do not try to argue with me, I am quite firm on this point. Whyyy don't I have any social instincts?? Why can I never think of anything to sayyyyyy?? Why am I so incompetent at EVERYTHING?? The secret message in all these questions is, HOW DO I GET PEOPLE TO LIKE ME. :((( Oh god what a creeper!

3/4ths of the year resolution: BE LESS CREEPY. Of course I will have to stop being all obsessive and fixated on real people and ughhhh I'M SORRY THAT I FIND YOU SO ALSKDFJASDJF;;; BDENNN, IF I DIDN'T I PROBABLY WOULD NOT BE SO INTERESTED IN LIKE EVERY PART OF YOUR LIFE AND EVERYTHING, JUST EVERYTHING! D:
kerpingtack: corgis on the beach where the corgis are free (Default)
I'm at work now and there's nothing to do, since it's a holiday and only like five people signed up to work today. I could do my reading or homework but I am not a miracle worker, people.

I watched John Tucker Must Die the other day. Voluntarily. I looked for it. I wanted to see if I had a reason to like Brittany Snow. I can't explain myself. I couldn't think of anything else to watch! The movie went above and beyond the call of stupid. Dear God. But yes, Brittany Snow was adorable. She's a much better actress than the part requires, though the plot and dialogue and everything is so bad that nothing can overcome it. Additionally, I have never understood, and will never understand, the appeal of Jesse Metcalf. 

K so, I know that it's a little dicey that Katherine Heigl called Knocked Up sexist (which it was) and then went on to make 27 Dresses (which, by the genre and the theme, is also anti-feminist).  What's worse, that women have no personalities/are practically non-existant besides their stock cardboard role as "the Girl", or that they get to be the hero of the story who delivers the message that women can't be whole or completely happy without love(= a man) in her life? Apparently I think no. 1 is worse since I think romcoms can be delishous. Actually (I have got to start using different words) I think romcoms can be less :// if they partition the time a little bit to see that the guy needs love to be happy and whole too*, in a non-gendered way. I think Two Weeks Notice does this pretty well.

* You can't really change "YOU NEED LOVE 2 B HAPPY", or else it's not really a romcom, right? I don't know what I'm talking about, I'm so bored and hungry.

I spent the entire Saturday in bed, either sleeping or messing around on the laptop. I woke up at 1, went to the bathroom, came back, and generally did not get up again until 7:15. I plugged up the crack under the door with an extra blanket and everything. Mmm, insulation against the world. I looooooove having the room to myself. Of course now Horky's back. She woke up at 9 AM today. WTF is wrong with her. H8.

Here is the part where I talk about music in such a way that it is no interest to anyone but myself. Alright, let's go!!!

On November 3rd I had: the first line of B&S's The Model in my head all day. "I will confess to you, because you made me think about the time,s you turn the picture onto me and I turn over." I like Stuart's elliptical lyrics. I like Stuart. I gave in just now and am listening to it. I love Stuart's voice on this song. It took me a little bit to warm up to this song, but once I did, we became BFFs.

On January 19th I had: Metric's Wet Blanket in my head for a long long time. "It's wraaaaahhng, to want morrr than a folk saaaaaaawwwwng, it's wraaaaaaahng." That lyric really makes no particular sense to me.

I also have the feeling that the lyrics to Charlotte Gainsbourg's The Song That We Sing are annoying and douchenautical (that's douche at sea) but I don't have the wherewithal to load the dishwasher to look it up and find out. Ughhh I am tired of everything turning up whorible.

Band of Horse's Islands on the Coast sounds like Animal Collective in a form I can tolerate.

I dl'd a few tracks off of Ted Leo & the Pharmacists' latest album and I missed M. Leo's voice. I like Bomb. Repeat. Bomb. though. Le sigh! Nowadays whenever I hear something new I feel like this inside.

Jason Molina/Magnolia Electric Co./songs: ohia is good, but it's ridiculous how "7-minutes of mournful sadcat singing and twangy gui-tar" ALL the songs are. Holy shit dude cheer up.

I finally heard Umbrella yesterday, aftar I dl'd it. I don't really have an opinion about it. However this convo I had with my sister holds true:
me (11:24:32 PM): rihanna is pretty
me (11:24:34 PM) : rhianna?
alyssa (11:24:35 PM) : oh yeah!
me (11:24:35 PM) : whatever
alyssa (11:24:37 PM) : I think so too
alyssa (11:24:37 PM) : lol
me (11:24:39 PM) : i like her hair
alyssa (11:24:40 PM) : w/e!
alyssa (11:24:43 PM) : it's cute!
alyssa (11:24:46 PM) : she looks like a tiger!
me (11:24:47 PM) : i know!
me (11:24:49 PM) : rawr!

I could not be less interested in Cloverfield if I tried.
kerpingtack: sarah with a fine moustache (sarah thinks you look ridiculous)


What a find, I tell ya!!! I wasn't expecting to get anything new when I searched for Belle & Sebastian on youtube, I just wanted to revisit some music videos and stuff but this!!! Who'da thunk!!!! It's from 1998!! How'd this person even get this!! The quality so good and Monica Queen and Stuart's awful hairscut and the lights and RARRRRRRRGHHHH EVERYTHING! BEST BEST BEST


kerpingtack: sarah with a fine moustache (sarah thinks you look ridiculous)

Welcome, traveler! Stuart welcomes you to baby's first real picspam!

(BTW the above fo-to is titled "this picture is too damn small!!!" Because it is!!!)

This is seriously out of nowhere. I was messing around with the idea of doing a B&S primer post for DJ alleycat or whatever she's calling herself, but um that's not going to happen. SO THIS IS ENOUGH.

Let's hit it!



kerpingtack: corgis on the beach where the corgis are free (this is a bad day)
Every once and a while I get a nice little surprise in the snail-mailbox, and this most recent surprise is Seabear's effervescent debut album entitled The Ghost That Carried Us Away, a collection of 12 light, pretty, lift-your-head-up songs that are guaranteed to brighten even the darkest shades of blue. Sounding like a less pompous Bell & Sebastian or a more eccentric Pelle Carlberg, Seabear weave nearly unforgettable melodies with never-too-serious lyrics to create tunes that occasionally approach breathtaking moments of grandeur...something that really needs to be heard to be believed.

This dicksmack did not just, did he? Oh yes friends, I think he did. Well, we see how this goes right? H8. BELITTLEMENT. NEVERENDING RANCOR. NO RESPECT. We see that he a) spelled Belle and Sebastian wrong; b) had the nervey nerve to call someone ELSE pompous, uh, igif, pull your head out of your ass; c) has as usual oversold like an overselling thing.

One day I will go crusading across the universe punching people in the face. The thing that pisses me off about these kinds of statements are that they are SO OBVIOUSLY untrue. You could tell that B&S are some of the least contrived/twee/pompous/obnoxious people in the music scene EVER within two lines of an interview or five minutes on their website. OR YOU KNOW, BY LISTENING TO THEIR MUSIC. It just shows that these fuckfaced vomitbags could not be bothered to do any research and are going around being fuckfaced and vomitbaggy based on some vague, random ass conception. I mean, he spelled the fucking name wrong! I hope his stomach gets eaten by fire ants. Fucking prick.

kerpingtack: corgis on the beach where the corgis are free (Default)
Usually I walk around completely clueless with my iPod volume up at a damagingly high level. Some guy said something to me on the stairs (or at least I think he said it to me) and I responded only with "huh?", at which point he was already four steps ahead of me. To entertain myself I'm going to say that he said "hey, foxy lady, you're SMOKIN' hot. Rawr." But probably he said "you smell weird." D:

But how was I to be blamed? I was listening to BUMP. Every few months I fall out of touch with my BUMP love, garbling "their songs sound the same" and what have you. Today's remedy was to listen to Sharin no Uta and Only Lonely Glory (radio edit) and Harujion. Oh, BUMP. My BUMP love is a big expanding ice matrix in my hart that grows and grows like a tiny universe of FUJIWARA MOTO WILL U MARRY ME? CHECK Y/N/MAYBE. IF NO, PASS THIS NOTE 2 UR VOICE, LOLZ. It makes me feel sunshiny and lighter and like there is a TINY UNIVERSE OF LOVE growing up out of me, because there ALWAYS IS. His voice is so young and yelping with frantic earnestness in Only Lonely Glory and oh god, that inhalation right before he starts singing Harujion... it always kills me. He MEANS it so much. The bass is super good in that song as well. YAY!

I'm listening to Tigermilk now. Such a perfect piece of charm. So very effortlessly brilliant. Why can't Stuart be my boyfriend? Happy birthday, Stevie! (Which I only know because I popped over to the ampersand marriage known as the B&S Q&A. I don't even know Stuart's birthday. Is it... in November? Or August? Probably August. I guess that is why he cannot be my boyfriend; I yam unworthy. *sadface*). "Because life is never dull, in your dreams." Analogous to what Quentin Tarantino said about Chungking Express: I'm so happy to love a band this much.
kerpingtack: corgis on the beach where the corgis are free (Default)
Twelve magizillion points to whoever identifies who said that in a burbling of sheer, complete loveability. [insert answer-giving-away statement here]

Also panter's not even a real word, it's a natural smush of "banter" and "patter". [insert answer-giving-away statement here] It's hard to censor the answer-giving-away statement! It's such a reflex. *hopeless*

I feel very Dylan these days. Sadly, this does not mean that I am/once was a complete hotass with twenty-three different, yet equally awesome "fuck you, camera" looks. I want to buy Blood on the Tracks, Modern Times, and the Freewheelin' Bob Dylan a lot alot.

Today I read for the VERY FIRST TIME, the part in Crime and Punishment where Raskolnikov explains his extraordinary man theory. The very first time. I don't know what I was doing junior year. Where did I think all that stuff came from? I wasn't even remotely worried about not reading it. "O well, whatever, I'm sure it's in there somewhere. Good enough." Razumikhin's rant on teh socialists!1 and nature vs nurture would've been helpful too, for the essay I wrote three hours before it was due. Oh, junior year.

Is it weird that the bastard-er Raskolnikov is, the happier I am? He's just SUCH a bastard, I love it!! It's hard to explain why. The more pompous and haughty and contemptuous he is, the more I want to squeal and mess his hair up and give him soup. He's such an ASSHOLE. And um, you know, a sociopath. But he's like a sociopath with no patience for charm and charisma; he's kind of too honest for that. I mean, he's lying his ass off, manipulating and calculating, but he's not really willing to compromise himself, where his 'self' is someone who hates people. HA HA. Dude, I think I'm trying to make him out to be more sympathetic than he actually is. Shouldn't I consider the fact that he killed two people with an axe more seriously? "What a crazy bastard. *loves*" can't be my reaction to EVERYTHING. Rawr. Fictional characters = serious business.

I sat in on the wrong discussion section today. *thumbs up*

Am very boring lately. D:
kerpingtack: sarah with a fine moustache (sarah thinks you look ridiculous)



On rewatching Fans Only:

Stevie would make a great dad. He'd never want to let go of the baby and miss out on work and shall hardly ever lose his temper. On the other hand, we can't see Stuart as a dad. At all. He'd be the weird but sweet uncle to a batch of sensible kids. He'd get them dictionaries and cups for Christmas presents. You don't send your kids to Stuart to have him take care of them; you send your kids to Stuart to have them take care of him. "Okay, what's next on the list? 'Have breakfast.' Let's see what we have..." And what he'd have would turn to be some ham, a muffin, a jar of cocktail olives, and some WEIRDASS sauce, like French peppermint salad dressing. While he's trying to assemble these things into some kind of meal, the kids are going through his cupboards efficiently, finding butter and panckae mix and eggs. Their mom would call them and be all "Remember, you have to take care of your Uncle Stuart. When he leaves the house, make sure he's turned off all the appliances and hasn't left the water running or anything like that." "Yes, Momma, we know." He seems like the type who'd forget that he didn't like things, like he'd forget that he can't handle spicy food. "Oh my God, Stuart, why'd you eat that?!" "I forgot..." He seems like he'd be a REALLY terrible cook. He'd make really horrible cookies. But he'd eat them anyway. And he'd bring them over to other people's houses.


Richard is probably weirdly good at all things domestic, which is why Stuart has survived as long as he did. Stuart needs girlfriends just so he doesn't freeze to death in the winter from a defective heater AND oven. :OOOO

In other news, we LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE Stuart. A LOT. A LLOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTT. I can't put any quotes in here because it's really just screaming "LOOK AT HIM" and "OHHHH!! MY GOD" and "HIS HAIR!!!" and "STUARTTTTTT." Sometimes a full sentence makes its way in there, like "LOOK HOW LONG HIS LEGS ARE" or an utterly broken, "I love him. Why can't he be my boyfriend?"

AND SOMETIMES we even talk about the other members of the band. SOMETIMES.

This is the combined effort of me, my sister, and jam cookies.
kerpingtack: corgis on the beach where the corgis are free (Default)
First off, play-by-play commentary on The Life Pursuit. Shutup everyone-who-doesn't-care-about-B&S, this is my journal and I'll talk about what I want!! *iz crazy like whoa*

- this album is a Solid Belle & Sebastian. I mean they sound more solid. They are moving toward rock. Stuart M.'s voice has got an edge to it. He really has one of my favoritest voices ever. They're growing, you know, branching out. This album has shoulders! (I have no idea what I mean by that.) How about, if this album was a person he would wear a fedora and have a guitar strapped to his back? Yeah, I've got nothing.
- continuing Stuart M.'s love affair with higher education. Also more references to singing, being in a band, etc.
- "ohhh, if I can make se~ense of it all"
- Another Sunny Day, like Dirty Dream, sounds a billion times better in the album. Well, at least it really clicks for me here. Actually all the songs I heard before I got the CD itself (Dress Up In You, Funny Little Frog, To Be Myself Completely) kick tonz of ass and really work, in a way that they didn't before.
- White Collar Boy: clashy drums! crunchy bass! a little 'hunh'!
- The Blues Are Still Blue = yes. Cool voice. Rock out!
- Dress Up In You: for the last half hour I've had "I am a singer, I am the singer in a band" in a loop in my head. B&S's characters are so fascinating. Makes me want to wag my finger and say, "there's a story there, I know it" because I DO. Halloa, Stuart M., I will box up all the time in the world for you so's you can write a novel and make millions more fall in maddening love with you.
- Sukie in the Graveyard is A WIN. I dig this song so completely. You can really hear Stuart's 2.0 voice here. Shake it down, yo! /lame
- We Are the Sleepyheads: another song I adore and would happily give my first baby for. Sarah really is good at harmonies. Squiggly guitar! I have such love for squiggly guitars.
- Song For Sunshine sounds like something from a whole 'nother band sorta, in a good way. B&S transition from era to era so fluidly. *loves so hard on them*
- Funny Little Frog! Ahh me, a little fire warms my heart with this song. Basssssss. I love the wording of every phrase. And of course, "thro-et."
- To Be Myself Completely: OMG the first Stevie song I've loved hardcore! Not like there's many anyway... Oh Stevie I <3 you tonz and tonz, truly. You should do more songs! Violin! (Unrelated clause.) The violin plays out a B&S song from another era, btw. It's always gonna be them, bitches, so I don't want to hear any whining about how they've changed and why don't they do like IYFS and overproduction ew, blah blah. Imma gonna smack you!
- Act of the Apostle II. I'm afraid I don't quite have a handle on this song, except for the parts that sound more like Act of the Apostle pt 1, in which case I am right there singing "ohhhhh if I could make se~ense of it all!" with it. I like it though, definitely so.
- For the Price of a Cup of Tea: yea! More voice calisthenics from teh Stuart M. I WILL DEFINITELY FOLLOW YOU FOR THE PRICE OF A CUP OF TEA.
- Morningtown Crescent - I have the feeling that I don't like this one very much. I'll eat my words with a mess of yucky condiments later, I'm very sure, but... eh. Soothing I guess?

Conclusion: dear Jesus God and all the fishes in the sea I love it and I love them and yes, yes, it is SO GOOD. They're growing and older and moving up and away and past, in a good way, in a natural, super, amazing, FANTASTIC way.

Warning: the line-break is very necessary.

* This is so weird. I felt like listening to War on War and so I dug out Wilco and put it on, and somehow War on War sounded way better in my head than in reality. It wasn't satisfying! I'm just going to swap it for Tigermilk so I can gush about B&S's first album and their newest one.

* I really like it when people like things. I mean, it makes me happy to see love in motion. Of course this works against me too, because I get insanely hurt when people don't like things I like. But not when it's people I know. I mean, I don't really care that much when people I know don't like the same things I do. I guess because if I would die all the time if I cared that much, since hello? Who around me watches anime or Supernatural or even knows what I'm talking about half the time?

* Hm, but I have a new appreciation for Pot Kettle Black. "Every moment's a little bit later" is my new "it's become so obvious, you are so oblivious". In that I think it's a good line. By now I hope all have caught on that the lights are on but nobody's home.

* If I like the ending of anything, be it movie, short story, fic, book, TV show, whatever, I will totally be unable to say that I dislike it even when I hated everything else up to that point. Like I really liked the ending to Primal Fear, which is really a kinda crap movie, performances by Edward Norton and Richard Gere not withstanding, so I... watch it every time it comes on. There are some fics that have their tiny hooks in my heart because their last lines sqoosh (seriously, is that not the weirdest word ever to see in print?) all the air out of me, on account of them hitting me like a sideways mac truck. The end to Memento. The end to The Wing Stroke by Vladmir Nabokov. I like endings that are like punches, or winding.

* "I've got reservations, 'bout so many things, but not about you." Ahh, my heart, is it not tired of being pushed and exploded and broken?

* I said I was going to listen to Tigermilk but I changed my mind. The Life Pursuit, take 5.

* A lot of what I write has to do with the problems of communication, stillness vs. motion, moving despite knowing there has to be a stop or a barrier or a limit somewhere, the uncontainable quality of life/tiny manifestations of such, overwhelming emotions. Also people blink, stare, look, close their eyes, open their eyes, squint, etc a lot. Just a trend that I've picked up on. I am sooooo cliched.

* Lately I feel like sleeping just cleaves my life into weird oddly-shaped bits of hours and conversations and thoughts. I fall asleep, I wake up and I don't know when I fell asleep or what day it is or what I did that day or what dream I just came from. I fall asleep on the way home from school, I wake up as the car pulls up to my house and for a moment all I know is that I'm in a car and I have to get out. Sometimes I don't even properly recognize that I was even sleeping at all. And I get some WEIRD thoughts while drifting off to sleep. Like once when we were driving to L.A. at night I had this idle thought of WHAT IF THERE IS A HUGE DRAGON IN THE VALLEY RIGHT NOW. And then I thought, maybe he's just flying underneath the freeway. And Wednesday while falling asleep in the car I thought geez it'd be bad if the Male Carpoolee (who was sitting next to me) had a bomb or something. And I actually opened my eyes to check! Okay, now that I wrote it I'm thinking I know why my dreams are so weird. It is because I am weird. o_O

Anyway my point is that every time I wake up I have a moment of: am I awake right now? I never have any idea of how long I slept either. I feel like I get less real every time I sleep. It's like every time I do I die and come back a little faded. There's a mental drift happening these days. I feel like I should be scared but I'm not, and I feel like I should be scared that I'm not but... no, I'm not either. Sleep problems ahoy! Another 15hr sleeping binge is in order, obviously.

* I don't know where all my post-its and index cards with my random quotes and scribbles went. When did we clean out the desk? *thinks hard*

* Smallville is the stupidest show in the world. At least, it's very much up there. It's beyond mocking because it's so embarrassing to watch. And Superman in the comics is such a dick! Observe.

* HAHAHAHA Alyssa just made the best word-smush ever! Harocious, adj, an amalgation of "horrendous" and "atrocious". Example: "The daycare episode of The Suite Life is good, but Maddie's outfit is HAROCIOUS omg I mean....!!"

* Today I will watch Numb3rs. The fact that this show (about mathematicians zomg I have crossed the threshold into True Dorkiness, but it has protective brotheriness, I cannae resist!) is on Fridays has caused me to miss it about five times running now. Fridays are sleep early days! But today is the day. I know it is!

* There is a real problem with me and transmitting all my thoughts in writing. Not even writing, Xanga. This is oversharing right? No one wants to hear about my boring-ass existence. And it is quite pathetic to be constantly talking to myself. >_>


kerpingtack: corgis on the beach where the corgis are free (Default)
counting at war

September 2017

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