kerpingtack: startling blue lake with cliffs idk what's in the water looks like sushi (cutaway)
I meant to post this like a week ago but uh I didn't. Also I'm trying to do this on my phone lol there's some stuff that's tedious to add so please anticipate a shit ton of vacous edits later~

I liked these things:

Dancing Queen audition

Kang Minkyung (Davichi)
타타타 (Ta Ta Ta) I really like this
사랑 사랑 사랑 (Love Love Love) this was surprising and really so good (w/ the interview at the beginning)

Ali
얄미운 사람 (Hateful Person) she is a great performer, whoa. also 'hateful' is not the exact word but it's hard to translate according to my mom lol
새벽비 (Early Rain) when she performs it really feels like she's doing exactly what she was born to do. great great voice, great confidence, great everything
킬리민자로의 표범 (Kilimanjaro Leopard)

Hyorin (Sistar)
edit: 비 내리는 영동교 (Rain on Youngdong Bridge) this is more or less a straight cover, but it's different from both what we've heard from her and what we've seen on the show in general, and she sounds really lovely [edit: my mom said it was the name of a bridge lol]
edit마음이 고와여지 (The Heart Must Be Good Too?) 

I haven't watched IMS2 since Jonghyun left (my attention span is super short and I am biased as fuck) so the only thing I'd watched of the show since then was 2PM's Junsu's Wait a Minute and Sistar's Hyorin's Miniskirt, both of which I liked a lot. I feel like the women really make this show. Also the contestants have really been scaled up. The very first set were are pretty young and were all definitely idols. The batch on the latest episodes have generally been older, soloists, and just a lot more mature and experienced. It's great to watch. (I think the hosts have gotten more annoying though. I hate when they edit cuts of them saying stupid obnoxious shit in the middle of a performance with the laugh track and everything. :|) It's made me realize how fun it is when the competition is really good, like when the skill level is comparable so what really makes a difference is the energy and emotion and creativity.

They really gave up on the 'proving idols can sing' concept, right? Because the idols they do have on are not quite uhhh the logical choices. It's kind of a waste because idols are so controlled and you don't get to see them making a lot of creative decisions. And I think being in a pool with people a lot better can be helpful and inspiring, as long as it's not hopelessly overwhelming.

And um everything is SHINee: omg I'm really nervous for Taemin. The current cast outclasses him, and the majority of all idols, by so much. He's going to look sf hapless just like all the reaction shots they keep putting in of Infinite's Woohyun looking worried and/or dumbfounded all the time lol.

The other thing that's really nice about the show is that you can hear that these older songs are actually very well-written. LOL backhanded compliment~? idk I get headaches when I listen to some of the originals because they just sound sf dated lol and the instrumentals are too loud and it's annoying. But these clean good interpretations are legit refreshing. They're good songs! 

blah blah )

quickbooks

Jun. 4th, 2011 12:24 pm
kerpingtack: police frog doodle (copper)
quickthoughts
- I'm throwing myself into a sea of love right now and there are a million tabs open omg so many things, SO MANY THINGS. It is insane how perfectly, PERFECTLY perfect he is to me. Flawless from every angle of his being omg. I really can't handle how much I love him. He's just so...!! Also, I am pleased that Immortal Song 2 ships jongho kekekeke omg what has this stanning done to me.
- I think part of the limpness of kpop fics is that people are unwilling to give their characters problems? Like emotional/personality-based ones, not just romantic pursuit type problems. It's a lot of describing or setting up scenarios. I'm rereading my favorite bandom fics and I think the emphasis on emotional arcs, personal histories, how difficult these personalities can be, etc. made those stories really compelling to me. Need more of that shit. I guess maybe because kpop itself is such escapist fantasy that the fics don't seem to situate them in the real world? Also because of cultural differences? Question mark? 
- this thought hit me like a sack of brick last week while I was shelving in the library~: procrastination is not about schoolwork, it's about my whole life. after I'm done with school I'm still going to have this issue where I just put off shit and back myself into corners so I'm either forced to go through with it all at once or sink/drown/die. inescapable self!
- SNSD's album is rly geat for me. There's so much Sunny!! Bad Girl, youaholic, and the Great Escape are my favorites from the new songs. Taeyeon thrashing about being a tiny rock star dudette is so amazingly charming. She sounded amazeballs at the concert too. And the dance line all sounded really really good in their solos, especially Hyoyeon and Yuri. Ahhhhh soshiiiiiiiiiiiiii <3___<3
- I made my sister watch Jonghyun's perfomance of A Million Roses and she said that I have chosen well and she will approve if I marry him. kekekeke ommmmmmmg why am I so obvious and unable to control myself, everyone around me knows that I want to kidnap Jonghyun and make him my child bride. lol wat, who said that? But the day before yesterday we also had this conversation:
me: Can you indulge me a little?
her: Um...  alright.
me: *pulling up fancam* It's only 26 seconds long.
her: But your 26 second videos are the worst ones.
I can't argue that. ;~~; But he's so fancammable. What does that mean? idk. JONGHYUN.

edit @ 3:55pm 
omg where is everyone, I need someone to validate my existence right now.

I really like that idol singing show. It's good to see the different performance styles and song ~interpretations. For me the ranking for the tournament part was Hyorin (undeniable), Jonghyun, Changmin, IU, Yoseob/Yesung. idk Yoseob is fine but sounds outclassed to me. I wonder how much they have a say in how expansive their stages are. The slower/quieter songs seem like they're at a disadvantage performance-wise unless it's really dramatic I guess. The audience is like a sea of ahjummas lol. And so many people tearing up at all the boring ballads. Ugh the way the show is set up is dumb as fuck. I know it's to make it more suspenseful, but omg I hate reality competition show suspense SO MUCH (fucking SYTCD omfg) and it just stirs up unnecessary fandom drama. It makes sense for determining the winner but not for the rest of the ranking. Like for example for today's show it looks like Hyorin > IU/Yoseob/Changmin > Jonghyun > Yesung, but it really depends on who was matched with who for everyone below Hyorin.
kerpingtack: corgis on the beach where the corgis are free (Default)
It's the last week of the quarter now and the pressure is making my head cave in. I keep having all these surreal moments where I feel like I'm tilting out of my fucking life. I have so many fucking papers to write. omg why did I do this to myself again. EVERY SINGLE TIME. I still haven't gotten the incomplete grade from last quarter settled either. I am a master of self-sabotage.

Also my left hand keeps shaking. Why are you doing this to me body? TO US??

What happened to Daesung of Big Bang/what Daesung of Big Bang did (I'm still a little confused on what the fuck actually happened) is seriously one of things I'm most afraid of. I fucking hate driving.

I spent a while rereading old entries again. I really can never tell if I'm more wretched than I was then or less. I think I'm less like ~intellectually curious now, though that doesn't take much. I've closed up a lot and I'm really so fucking disenchanted with school and academia. It's tiring to like... think. Ahaha. Fuck shit I need to get my work done.

I went on a mini-death spiral of related videos on youtube. For some reason it turned into like a tour of mathematical kpop; I watched B2ST, 4minute, 2NE1, and f(x). I really like Hyuna! She's fun to watch not just for the obvious (hot) but because she looks comfortable and like she's actually enjoying herself when she dances, and that goes a long way towards ~me being comfortable and enjoying watching her. She's one of the girls in kpop that I think really owns her sexuality, or if not that, at least is comfortable with her body and its capacity to move. Like, she's not afraid of following through, like with using her hips all the way, etc. I also like Minzy, she's really cute. And all of f(x). Krystal and Jessica both have that weird ~it~ quality on-stage. (I'm quite prickly about comparing sisters but in this case I do think they have a similar presence.) Uh B2ST was really underwhelming. I admit that I have some stuff built against liking them though, like the fact that I don't find any of them attractive in the least, none of them have distinctive voices, and they have too many counts of cultural insensitivity/unnecessary fuckery associated with them, intentional or not (Kikwang's blackface itself and the band members' comments on it, refusing to wear kimonos in Japan, ). I don't really hold them accountable for those things but it's work to block it out. God I still live in terror of the possibility of my favorites revealing themselves to hold the fucked up normative views on race, gender, etc. THE BUBBLE MUST STAY PROTECTED ;~~~~~;

I LOVE SMTOWN'S LET'S GO ON A TRIP. The Korean word has like a connotation of vacationing/holidaying, idk, it makes it really really cute to me. And I love when a bunch of people are sining cheerfully together. (Caveat, also when they're at least trying to be in tune. I hate that joyless limp hipster indie twee shit.)

And I really really like SHINee's Scar. Is it not popular with the fandom or something? I never hear people talking about it. It's pretty damn good.

Finally caught up on Parks & Rec! LESLIE ;~; Leslie/Ben is cute and all but I think my favorite relationships on the show are Leslie/Ann and Leslie/Ron. And Ron/Parks dept. ahaha. UGH the ending of the uh second to last episode, omffffg SO PERFECT I was like clutching myself for dear life. Otherwise! Jean-Ralphio is a good example of how a perfectly executed character can become annoying with overexposure. Uhh Chris is also the other obvious example. LOL I'm really really annoyed with him and how the show is pushing him now. WHAT THE FUCK at that ~comforting the crying woman scene. My sister and I were like disgusted, lol. I really really hope they drop the Jerry bullying joke for the next season. They've already sort of toned it down from season 2 so I hope that continues. It's the only thing that honestly bothers me about the show. It's too reminiscent of the Office.

I know kpop is cute but why is the fic also so cute? LOL that's such a vapid way of phrasing it. I mean everything's really ~vanilla. You can really really tell the fandom is young by the fics. It's not necessarily bad but uhh sometimes it makes me forget how fics ~can be written. The fic isn't known for innovation or variety. Man I feel so crotchety when I complain about kpop ficdom. Ugh I've never been SO emotionally invested in a fandom like this before. I GUESS THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU'RE LEGIT IN LOVE WITH PEOPLE FROM MANUFACTURED POP BANDS

LOL omg I haven't finished a new book in like two years. Besides children's books that JJB was also reading. Oh wait that's not true, I read the Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi last spring ahahaha. I'm so uncultured, I can't get into anything anymore. I'm really character-based too. I can't get through anything if I don't give a shit about the people I'm reading and so often books are about boring douchey people doing boring douchey things. It's not even realistic or anything, it's like stylized privileged boring douchiness. Listen I get enough of that in real life, fucking please do something else. This isn't news or anything, but that's why I read fic so much and why ~characterization is the most important to me. The best function of fic for me is that thing that one guy talked about (MY IMPECCABLE MEMORY) about how discussing the media is a way of extending the experience. It's an extension of my love for the people/media product itself. Oh god what the hell is this paragraph about. Fic is really valuable and interesting for a lot of reasons but personally it works for me because I'm already invested and I don't have to work to care. LOL EMOTIONAL LAZINESS

LOL just sitting here saving pictures from tumblr and listening to the Sound of Music soundtrack. Anything to avoid work.
kerpingtack: police frog doodle (copper)
Since my soash of family professor takes forever to say a lot of nothing I usually end up doodling or outlining things I want to talk about. It makes zero difference but I wrote this a couple of days ago and forgot to switch it out of private lock. wot wot wot

as usual 75% is kpop )
kerpingtack: illustration for aladdin 1928 "Aladdin Saluted Her with Joy" (salut her with joy)
I'm sick so I skipped work today. It's such a pain to make up the hours though.

I really have no belief in school at all. idk. Sociology gives you a perspective that no one gives a shit about. I think it's really important, especially with regard to race, gender, sexuality, and other institutionalized -isms, but no one in real life cares. I'm not going to say "what is the point" but seriously, it's really disheartening. Actually the most depressing and irritating things are education classes. Everyone is so well-intentioned and earnest, but it's all legit dumb. It's really caught up in itself. Trying to change the education system through the education system itself and all its trappings. And so much of it is just removed from actual practice. You can say this about all academia, but it annoys me the most with education because so much of the time it seems like they're complying with all the bullshit they're supposed to be critiquing. Why are the readings SO esoteric and circle-jerky? It really feels like you have to immerse yourself in that world before you can do anything or get anywhere. I guess this is the danger of believing in education as an institution. And the professors sit back and are all "lol it's up to you guys now good luck lol." But they're also blatantly trying to funnel you through the system to replicate their positions? So... WHAT IS THE POINT. Okay lol whatever, I dropped the education minor for a reason.

One thing that I really love about kfandom are the fanchants. I don't really have anything substantive to say about them. They are just hella impressive. I mean I know that it's part of a larger culture that encourages unhealthy dedication and projection, but even with the fucked up mess of the antis and saesang fans and general batshittery, I find a lot of aspects of kfandom to be really impressive. Like when they donate to charities in their idols' names, or how genuinely talented so many of them are at design, photography, editing, etc. And sometimes I find their dedication really touching just in and of itself. idk. I know it ends up being unhealthy uhhh a lot of the time but to me, maybe because I feel dead inside so often, there is something really good and valuable about being able to feel so much emotion and love and support for people you don't even know. It speaks to how I think in general people really want to love others. Who knows why that desire becomes so mangled or blocked so much of the time though.

The world in general is so dialectical. How close love is to sadness, just an eyelash away sometimes. How it is mimicked by hate and how it fuels anger. Life is pretty hard.

I'm rewatching SHINee's photobook DVD right now. Oh my god, they are all heartbreakingly beautiful. I'm not even exaggerating. ;~; All windblown hair and backlit by the sun. Aesthetically perfect. Even though it made me feel a little uncomfy at times, what with the coy sexualization that defines young!SHINee. (Onew and Jonghyun were like barely eighteen and Taemin was like... FIFTEEN here, right?) I mean, they're capitalizing on that beautiful young boy look (especially all those pictures where they're draped all over each other and the ones where they're ~waking up in the morning) but it's done well? ;~; OH WELL, YOU CAN'T BEAT BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE IN BEAUTIFUL PLACES.

I felt depressed and weird about myself today. What a rare phenomenon!! I almost put in my contacts and got dressed up to make myself feel better but in the end I vetoed that because of how sicky sick sick I am. I need better coping mechanisms.
kerpingtack: corgis on the beach where the corgis are free (Default)
EHEHEHE okay I drank half a can of an energy drink for the first time in my life~ and I am ehehehehehehe omg twitching. TWITCHING. FUCK OKAY LET ME TELL YOU MY DAYS, ALL MY DAYS

WEDNESDAY: SOASH OF EDUCATION PAPER DUE, DESTROYED FOR ENTIRE WEEK IN COMBO PROCRASTINATION-NO SLEEP-FUCKED UP WORK SCHEDULE-DOPROSSION
THURSDAY: SOASH OF CONVO STRUCTURES EXERCISE 2 DUE
FRIDAY: 5 HRS OF WORK, DRIVE 5 HRS HOME FOR...
SATURDAY: JJB'S 10TH BIRTHDAY!!! AHHHH AWESOME
SUNDAY: CHURCH, TJMAXX & ROSS WITH SOME A-HOLE, DRIVE 5 HRS THROUGH THE NIGHT BACK HERE
MONDAY: SOASH OF EDUCATION READING SUMMARY DUE
TUESDAY: SOASH OF CRIME MIDTERM LOLOOLOLOL B- AT BEST
WEDNESDAY: SOASH THEORY MIDTERM LOLOLOLOL D: WHY
THURSDAY: SOASH OF CONVO STRUCTURES EXERCISE 3 DUE

THIS WAS ALL IN CAPSLOCK BECAUSE I THOUGHT I HIT THE KEY WITH MY PINKY HARD ENOUGH BUT I DIDN'T AND EHEHEHEEHHEH FUCKING TWITCH TWITCH

okay. omg my chest is all hollow and shaky and overwhelmed. And I just listened to Lucifer backwards because my iPod is a testament to my obsession and I have shit like Lucifer backwards on it. IF ONLY I HAD A FIVE MINUTE RECORDING OF KPOP PEOPLE JUST BREATHING TOO, I WOULD PUT IT ON MY IPOD AND FIVE DIFFERENT PLAYLISTS TOO!!!111

I forgot to write down my new years resolutions (or make them) but I'm saying them now.
1. GRADUATE FROM COLLEGE JESUS FUCKING CHRIST
2. comment more on lj
That;s it. I have no other goals I think I could reach, ahahaaa. I;'m not even boterhing to be like "loooool lose weight loooooooool" or "make fronds." how the fuck would either of those things happen. I will be friendless and dumpy for the rest of my life.

also I am sort of achieving toward 2!!1 I ahve commented like 5 different times on the bitchy kpop anon meme, which was terrifying and made me feel accomplished. LOL the first time I commented someone page-breaked (that's when someone fucks up the html for the entire page of comments or whatever, idk anything about anything) and it scared the shit out of me. I thought I did it accidentally or something. I love the anon meme. Tehre's a fight club kind of code around it but no one reads this and also I drank half a can of an energy drink and I get fucking wired from soda, my system is not prepared for this. It is so soashilogically interesting and I'm dumb, I think all the memes and nicknames and exclusive in-joke language are really really funny.

microsoash is so dumb and pointless to the history of humanity and the universe. It's like other people's dreams; that shit is only itneresting to the person talking about it. That is my way of saying that later I am going to write giant dumb paragraphs about kpopsecretmeme2 and how much I love it soashilogically.

There's something fascinating about negative opinions. No follow-up, just saying. I love the "there's something [adj] about [noun]" sentence structure. It evokes the vague emotion I have toward the noun without actually saying anything, eheheheheheh.

I will comment on a bunch of kpop fics too. I am going to put myself out there and hope no one will ever click back to my journal and see all this bullshit.

The only thing the people I love fannishly have in common is that I love them. <3__<3

all my percolated SHINee-related thoughts
- lol their Seoul Music Awards acceptance speeches. those bitches weren't even thinking about mentioning Jonghyun. ilu Minho, thank god you're there to be lovely and considerate~ In general, I think Minho and Jonghyun are the most openly affectionate/frondly members of the group and they do the shout-outs. like Jonghyun mentioning Minho's birfday during the GDA speech and the "Onew-hyung are you watching~"
- tbh I also think they're the two who like SHINee the most even though Minho isn't that musically relevant to the group and though Jonghyun is a moody lazy shit sometimes about it. they're the two who really love everyone in SHINee I think. Onew, Taemin, and Key are clearly SO much closer to people outside of SHINee that it's kinda depressing but there's not that much of a clear marked distance for Jonghyun and Minho and the group. at least to me. okay I think too much about this.
- I seriously love Jonghyun so much. G20's Let's Go came up on shuffle and his part came up and it was just so pleasing and I felt smiley and I love him.
- I think Onew has a better natural voice (his tone/texture), but Jonghyun is the better singer. Not just in technique and control and range, but in understanding/interpreting the song and emoting and being versatile. They are both rly talented though.
- All I really want to do is post kpop youtube videos and talk about them, post kpop songs and talk about them, and post kpop pics and talk about them. I have so many feelings. 

JJB IS 10 YEARS OLD NOW!! AAHHHH <3
kerpingtack: corgis on the beach where the corgis are free (Default)
I guess I'm going to be talking about this now!

Something about kpop that really gets me, just personally as an ~Asian-American~, is that there are people not from Korea in there. Tiffany and Jessica from SNSD are both from California, and so is Nicole from KARA. I think Clazziquai are from Canada. Brian from Fly to the Sky and Tablo are also Americans abroad. Taecyeon from 2PM is from Boston or something, and Jay was... is... whatever, from Chicago or some shit. And like. There is no way they could've been as famous or have the scale of success they'd have in America, you know? I forget what the phrase is, something about occupational selection or something; it describes how professional/service tracks are kind of a default for Asian-Americans because there's basically no future in the entertainment or sports sector. I can't think of any Asian people in the American music market, besides a few people in the indie-ish scene... Vienna Teng, Thao Nguyen, that one guy in Bloc Party?... I can pretty confidently say that there are NONE in big popular music. It's not that Asian-Americans don't want to be actors or singers, because that's clearly not true; it's just that it's unrealistic even above and beyond how unrealistic "making it" already is. I read this old myspace blog by Tiffany before she went to Korea to be a trainee and eventually debut, and it was... idk, there's something sad in that she had to move to Korea to even have a chance, but hopeful and sweet in that she eventually did make it and she's in this super-beloved group and idk idk. 

I understand that kpop IS pop, which means I don't have a leg to stand on if I want to look down on Justin Beiber. Which, fine, I'm not in that demographic; I don't really have a probelm with people being Beriebers or whatever outside of the principle of people flipping their shit for a twelve-year-old who doesn't know what German is. But then I thought does that put kpop on par with the fucking JONAS BROTHERS? My entire soul reflexively cringed. Aaha, I don't know why I never considered this before; the fucking Wonder Girls went on tour with them for a while. Yes, self, they're about the same.

I've already said that I don't care that the Jonas Brothers are manufactured pop. (LOL I still listen to ~Hillary Duff's Metamorphosis~.) My problem with the Jonas Brothers and their fucking ilk is how they have embody almost every kind of privilege imaginable, and all the ignorance that implies, and they have publically demonstrated their commitment to that ignorance! UGHHHH. Anyway, in the context of Korea, kpop embodies those privileges too. (Though internationally, they don't. I don't think kpop star, or any Asian star for that matter, will ever break through the American market.) Dying. I mean, I already knew this, especially in the case of all the men (for the sake of my sanity, I take an "innocent until proven guilty" approach though, ie shouting JONGHYUN PLEASE DON'T BE A DOUCHEBAG ABOUT WOMEN, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE in my soul), but I guess I didn't FULLY REALIZE it until I thought about it as compared to the fucking Jonas Brothers. But whatever, fuck being fair, I have my personal biases and that shit makes me want to understand kpop and keeps me from ever sympathizing with the fucking Jonas Brothers.

The other issue: HIPSTERS. My definition of a hipster, on a DEEP STRUCTURE level, is pretty much the same as the Jonas Brothers, except the Jonas Brothers etc. sacrifice ~looking cool~ for squeezing money out of their fanbase while hipsters will try their hardest to do both at the same time. Hipsters also think they're better than others by virtue of their sainted hipster cocks or their shitty taste in everything or... I have no idea why they think they're better. Actually the trappings of hipsterdom are incidental to me (how they dress, what they listen to, which movies they cream themselves over, general pretentiousness); what makes a hipster a HIPSTER is how they deny or justify their privilege while they exploit the fuck out of it. While being a badly-dressed douchebag. lol okay, Jonghyun is a stylistic hipster but not a hipster in my sense of the word. (This was really the only reason I started thinking about this. ahahah omg.)

So idk what I'm saying! I realize that kpop idols are the privileged fucks of their society but bawww I love them and bawwwww they're all so cute and bawwwwww I'm Asian, I never see Asian people get to be sparkly and stupid and charming as people and not just ornamental blow-up dolls or action figures or quirky/nerdy/pervy diversity casting or cattle footage. Also, it's weird that I'm trying so hard to ~figure out~ kpop right? I don't try to ~figure out~ Amurrican pop. It says some things about the society but it doesn't say everything, and it's not like the entire industry is cohesive. kpop is much smaller and more uniformly controlled (at the very least in the business sense) but it's not a complete monolith so whyyy am I always trying to make sense of things in context of other things??? IT IS JUST CONFUSING. And why am I trying to relate kpop to American pop? I'm so ~between cultures~ right now it is ridiculous. So many feelings. I don't even know. I think about kpop too much in general. I am physically deteriorating. WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE.

.:. IDK I HATE HIPSTERS

UGHHH

Nov. 21st, 2010 10:09 pm
kerpingtack: corgis on the beach where the corgis are free (one for air)
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

SOME GIRL GROUP'S NEXT ALBUM CONCEPT IS "INDIAN" (AS IN "NATIVE AMERICAN")

STOP. STOP. STOP IT. STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT.

IT'S SO HARD TO BE A FAN WHEN THEY'RE CONSTANTLY PARADING THIS RACIST BULLSHIT EVERYWHERE. THEY KNOW KPOP IS INTERNATIONAL, THEY'RE FUCKING TRYING TO MAKE IT INTERNATIONAL. IF NOTHING ELSE SHOULDN'T THEY JUST CONSIDER IT DISRESPECTFUL?? KOREA IS SERIOUSLY STUCK IN THE 60s ABOUT SOME (MOST!!!!!!) THINGS AND IT DRIVES ME CRAZY FUCKING GODDAMNIT JUST STOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP. DON'T DO THIS SHIT ANYMORE KPOP, YOU DON'T NEED TO KEEP OUTDOING PAST CONCEPTS OR OTHER BANDS, YOU DON'T NEED A ~NEW CONCEPT~ EVERY. SINGLE. FUCKING. TIME. YOU COME BACK JFC JUST STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP

Korea is SO. FUCKING. BAD. about race/ethnicity/nationality. (To be fair, Asia in general has a lot of problems. Okay the entire world does. I'm talking about Korea specifically because kpop has eaten my entire soul.) Korea has a very homogenous population, yeah, and they don't have a lot of experience or exposure to ~other cultures~ (INCIDENTALLY the idea of bloodline ~purity~ is big over there COMPLETELY INCIDENTAL) but JESUS FUCKING CHRIST it's one of the most wired places in the entire fucking world, they can't even claim harmless ignorance anymore. This shit is willful. Oh my god. Just oh my god. SO MUCH SHIT.

The "Indian" concept doesn't have that terrible resonance as it would if white Americans, or the dominant race of any country with a history of uh native genocide, were doing it, but it's still the idea that you can ~dress up~ as a race for fun and show. Literally as a pop album concept. To be fair, since American artists ~dress up~ as Native Americans all the time and no one really calls them out on their shit, I can see how kpop would think that it's acceptable. Especially since Korea doesn't really have any structure for discussion/discourse about race. But again, ignorance is getting harder and harder to claim. And fucking, jesus christ, there was actual, literal blackface on one of the variety shows earlier this year and it was fucking unbelievable. They went all-out. Make-up, watermelon, buffoon, everything. That shit could've been avoided SO EASILY if anyone just did some research. Or cared. Sometimes my emotional reaction is really just KOREA IS SO FUCKING RACIST and it's hard to talk myself down from that ledge. Christ on earth.
kerpingtack: corgis on the beach where the corgis are free (call it freedom in an old age)
What the hell, my posting pattern has been consistent across three weeks: post every day Sunday through Wednesday, don't post anything Thursday - Saturday. I guess that makes me look like I have some semblance of a life but I do not! idk why it's turning out like this~ Also, I assume that if I'm your fronds list, you do not mind useless spam because blogging is my life blood again. And I will most likely be obsessed with kpop until the end of time.

From my bullshit study assignment:

The self-organization and collective action of women (or a "women's movement") is a decisive determinant of the relative "social constraints" and "body of law" codifying the relative personal, civil, and political rights of women or of "gender inequality."

THIS SENTENCE. SAYS. NOTHING. It is a completely null set. Okay, it does say something, but in the wordiest and most meaningless way possible. You could condense it into five words, "women's movements change gender inequality," but he HAAAAS to cram all those fucking clauses and useless "phrases" in there. What the fuck, that's the kind of shit I do, and this asshole is being PAID for it. I fucking hate the professor. And academia in general for its douchemongering support of assholes like him. Ugh the worst is that he isn't even the worst.

fuckin A why am I not able to understand regression? I have so much dumb. 

Speaking of which, my angst with people used to be more focused on how much of an asshole everyone was. Now I'm in the process of accepting how fucking stupid people are. I include myself.

It was windy yesterday! My favorite weather. I always get in a good mood when I walk when it's windy. lol alliteration~ It's finally starting to get cold now. Winter clothes are starting to appear and omfg, I LOVE winter clothes. COATS. GODDAMN.

segregating the kpop )

a series of creeper comments about jonghyun )
kerpingtack: corgis on the beach where the corgis are free (Default)
 i'm at an optional ~statistix mini-course~ in stats computer lab. was bad idea, is advanced beyond my class and i already did not wtf is going on w/ regression

there's a guy from my class here too. i wonder if he is also thinking this was a bad idea. wtf why did prof recommend this ~mini-course~ it is not a good review for the class at all, it is for like stats majors or people doing research

girl kitty-corner from me is looking up the beatles on itunes

i am enjoying looking at/listening to lecturer. he is ph.d stats student. tall slim sarcastique japanese guy. his face makes you want to keep looking at it. he's kind of beautiful. his outfit ever-so-slightly does not match. he's wearing like these brown leather loafer slippers with a buckle. omg i love buckles. his voice is very dry and he has a very slight accent. mostly in the way he drops the articles or plurals/verb tense endings in his sentences.

i am pretending that i'm typing notes by looking up every so often and staring intently at the power point. 

bad thing about being into kpop is that there is no way to look up anything in front of other people. so embarrassing. just want to stare at jonghyun's face in another batch of five hundred pics/gifs/vids

if kpop had anywhere near the ~quality of fic that bandom or popslash got i would die a million happy deaths. i guess this is the trade-off for the number of girls and attractive people. i still don't get how popslash ever got a following, basic white boys everywhere. it is worse x1000 for the jonas brothers. 

bifor i got into kpop i thought the fandom was huge. it is but it's obvs internatl and the kfans keep their shit locked down and there are things in diff languages etc. even in the english-speaking fandom there's not a lot of fandom content. besides wank. the avg age strikes me as verrrrry young. like there are a lot of tumblrs.  the fic reflects this

on the other hand, the media content is gorgeous. shinee fans are especially amazing. the fan photos are seriously professional quality. the cameras are good but the fans are really skilled/talented. there are like multiangled fan cams, it's like a dvd for real. onnn the other other hand, ugh it's hard to find well-subbed videos plus the korean broadcasting companies are stingy cockblocks and keepp removing shit from youtube. this REALLY makes no sense, the subs are literally free promotion. if you're watching subs on youtube you obvs are not and cannot be pt of the normal consuming audience. the youtube clips can only get them more money.   

my bod is so misshapen and embarrassing. and i need new shoes.

stats people are so inherently nerdy. they just like data. i am jealous, i wish i just liked information for its own sake. i srsly do not enjoy learning. am lazy as fuck

the borders on route to school is closing down and they're having a close-out sale. gotta get on that

soc 1 class continues to be excruciating. the prof is a pathetic drama queen. lol i really hate him! nothing he says has a point. i'm worried about the final b/c i do not understand what the fuck we are supposed to be doing. i don't feel like i've learned anything and i don't even feel like it's my fault! 

i legit have a crush on jonghyun. i swear i have NEVER had such a physical reaction to my other media obsessions. that peace sign in hello!!!!! i srsly start giggling unctrllably. my sister thinks i'm crazy. i think he is the first asian guy (lol or non-white in general) that i've reaaaally loved. i'm rly starting to see the similarities in the people i'm ~drawn to: big eyes, nice cheekbones/jawline, embarrassing and/or dorky in some way, good voice. and once i'm drawn, it's fucking game over, i'm in for life. JONGHYUN

oh the lecture is wrapping up

bye lecturer, i like your face + shirt. srry i don't understand anything you're talking about D:

drains

Nov. 15th, 2010 11:18 am
kerpingtack: badly cropped deers drawn by a korean artist (nearly spring)
LOL OKAY I'M FINISHING THIS

MY SPIRITUAL PROBLEM WITH KPOP WOULD BE THE SAME PROBLEM I WOULD HAVE WITH ANY KIND OF SUPER-MAINSTREAM MEDIA AND THE KIND OF MENTALITY THAT ATTRACTS IN THE FANDOM

THUS: FUCK YOU CAPITALISM AND FUCK YOU CONSPIRACY THEORIES

Now there will be nothing but shallow capslock fangirling.

- I fucking hate regression.
- LOOL idk what's going on, but I hope that tumblr's day of reckoning has come even though the fuckyeah fan tumblrs are useful as hell. No one credits anything over there. Go balls out, 4chan.
- I've been listening to a lot of Kelly Clarkson lately and christ, the warmth and personality in her voice is seriously amazing. I really love her. Pop music at its best.
- On the other hand, good god, Jonghyun, why are you listening to Justin Beiber???
- AND DON'T BE A HIPSTER
- AND KEEP LOOKING LIKE THIS *_______________*

lol even with this relentless kpop spam, I really have been holding myself back. This shit would look like a fucking twitter if I posted everything I wanted. Anyway, brb cobbling together another huge megapost about why I am in love with Jonghyun.

- omg "kpop talented." This phrase is so unfortunately useful.
- GOD I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN. *downloads Super Junior song* Well, it was already over once I heard Rokkugo.
- I really love Hoot. SNSD seem to like this concept too. It's so fun and playful and sly! Too bad about Tiffany and Sunny's hair though, and Taeyeon's wig. WHO THOUGHT THAT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA. Man I cannot get over how fucking gorgeous Sooyoung looks right now. Her hair is so pretty and she looks a mile long during the performances omg. I hope they promote her hardcore now. I mean, she's consistently at the bottom of the SNSD popularity rankings, which blows my mind. Have they never seen her on variety shows or heard her on the radio?? SHE IS THE BEST.

oh jesus, SM's put an official hold on Jonghyun. I don't bleev the conspiracy theories, though I do get myself all worked up over them just for recreation I guess, but I do think there's something weird going on. SM likes to do this thing where they let someone take a break because of an "injury" and then phase them out of existence. You for real never hear about that person again. ("Injury" is in quotation marks not because they're not actually injured, because they are, but because usually they'd still be back to work unhealthily quickly. Minho tore ligaments in his knee earlier this year and he was dancing within like a month and he didn't get to sit out all of the Lucifer promotions. wtf is SM doing.) DO NOT BE THE NEXT AMBER, JONGHYUN, STAY IN KOREA AND COME BACK TO SHINEE SOON. ;______;

- I have work in stacks today. Christ on earth. Is it logically possible for someone with that blonde/black skunk hair to not be completely disgusting? There's this skinny white hipster with that hair on my shift and she is such a fucking moron. She and this other terrible douchebag were fucking around with the books we were intershelving and the douchebag was "reading" a Vietnamese book and she was like, "LOLOL VIETNAMESE IS UGLY." BITCH, YOU'RE UGLY, SIT THE FUCK DOWN AND KEEP YOUR PRIVILEGED HONKY THOUGHTS TO YOURSELF. 
- ... uhh I'm working on cutting down on the gendered insults. And calling people honky.
- Soda has such a strong effect on me. I had a glass of Coke yesterday and my heart felt like it was trying to crawl into my hands. idk if it's the sugar or the caffeine.
- Pet peeve: half-assed passive-aggressiveness on the internet. Somehow it's 1000000000x more viscerally annoying to me than in real life. I didn't care about your comment until you added your stupid *shrug* or "I'm sorry, but..." or whatever, but now I want to punch you in the throat. Goddddd I hate it when people use *shrug*. Number one irrational hate boner.
- As the day got colder yesterday I just put on more and more clothes until I looked like I was ready to hipster jazzercise. Hipstercise? I had shorts over leggings over socks and a cardigan. CARDIGAN. 

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