kerpingtack: ms paint crop of a timeline of weekend life (omnomatron)
LOL OKAY SO THIS PICSPAM WAS STARTED IN JUNE OF 2008 AND I'VE ALWAYS BEEN BOTHERED THAT I NEVER FINISHED IT. THREE YEARS AFTER I STARTED IT + ALMOST 2 YEARS AFTER THEY SPLIT UP IS THE BEST TIME OF COURSE.

http://oi34.tinypic.com/20h7giq.jpg

I have no idea what my thought processes were when I was putting this spam together. I didn't have any non-disco pixx to share and care, but I spent a long time copy-pasting those fronds.

I don't know how to start this.

this was perhaps not the wisest time of day to do this spam )

I feel really accomplished now! I have finally finished this THREE YEAR old spam. And oh man, making this post brought back so many more memories than I thought it would. I really loved these tragic weird white boys. <3__<3 Thanks for everything, disco. It was fun~
kerpingtack: corgis on the beach where the corgis are free (Default)
My god I am such an attention whore. I've been updating Facebook a lot. And I keep wanting to update my OkCupid profile pictures. Also I am updating my LJ, durr hurr. Oh geez, the OkCupid thing is especially bad. You do not even understand how many times I've almost logged in to upload new pictures.

I'm under provisional admission to UCLA at the moment. I need to finish some incomplete coursework or else my admission will be canceled. I have made almost no progress and it is due next week. It's not even that I just need to finish it; it has to be, like... above a C. It's all shit. Anything that helps me escape is a brilliant idea. Which I suppose is why I keep circling around OkCupid.

I hate the apartment by the way. We've had to pay three months' rent already plus deposit and no one will even move in until September. I've never even seen the damn place. And the landlord is a grade A prick. I kind of hate him a lot.

ANYWAY ONTO MORE IMPORTANT THINGS

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[livejournal.com profile] enderswrath where you at?? LOL DISCO. LOL RYAN ROSS. *____* BDEN. Oh some things truly never change. This picture literally feels like worlds colliding. On one side, bdon looks like the beautiful fairy of goodwill he is, radiant and obnoxious in the full bloom of youth. On the other side, Ryan Ross looks like a shabby hobo salaryman from some crappy 1980s condo closet. I sure put together a lot of words in that sentence. I like that people are flipping out about it because my heart skipped a beat when I saw it too. Oh shit what if a Spencer and Jon version surfaced?! That would be... no, actually I don't care about that. Goddamnit disco put out some music.

Man, bandom really crashed and burned. To be honest I'm kind of worried about kpop doing the same, though more because the industry itself is so sketchy. Everyone is so fucking overworked, I'm afraid they're all going to keel over. It is seriously ridiculous. There are actually a lot of lawsuits going around right now from band members suing their companies for unfair contract terms. Plus, there are just way too many groups debuting. It's just too much money-grubbing going at too fast a pace. I'm worried for SNSD. :d

I'm also worried that Parks & Recreation will be canceled. It's only getting a half season or some shit. WHY. WHHHHYYYY. It cannot be canceled. CANNOT. I love it so much!! It has to make it to five seasons, at least!! My heart, it is clinging. :(

THINGS I LOVE: PEOPLE OUTSIDE OF ANIME BEING CALLED TSUNDERE
Like John Watson of Sherlock Holmes!! LOOOOOOLZ. And Jessica from SNSD!!! Though I don't think that quite fits. LOLZ WHATEVER, I LOVE IRL TSUNDERES

What the hell is Liz Phair up to these days? I listened to Exile in Guyville all the way through today, which is pretty much the only way I can listen to it. That album and whitechocolatespaceegg are both paced so well. It's so confident and assured.

I always talk about this but it's because I really am amazed each time: music can make you remember EVERYTHING. I remember how I first heard of Liz Phair (VH1 music videos late at night in a hotel room, Why Can't I?), what made me decide to buy the CD (looking her up online and reading the lyrics to Divorce Song), where I was when I first listened to it (in the car on the way to dinner with my grandmother), my first reaction ('her voice is so much deeper than in her other song!'), all of that. I really miss discovering music that I love like that. Everything is digital and low-risk now, which I'm not complaining about because of my lack of monies and such, but the intangibility does kind of dilute things. Scrolling through a tracklist doesn't feel the same as skipping through a CD. Also I hate it when music blogs put pictures of the band by the downloads. Jesus, seriously??? It's like when they put a picture of the author next to the article. What is the point of that?

escape escape escape!
kerpingtack: alec baldwin in beetlejuice (CHEKRD SHRT + GLASSES = YES YES YES!!)
I am reorganizing my disco pictures folder. Damn you, disco, you fucked up my folder scheme. Right now I'm separating all the concert photos. It's making me D: because half my titles are "BFFS FOREVER GODDAMNIT" or something like that. I didn't know! They looked like they had so much fun on-stage! D:

After looking through all my disco pictures, I started to feel sad for the first time since the split. I really loved those four guys together. I mean a lot of it was crazy sleep-deprived mania, but still, I had a lot of fun *O*ing out over them and I'm sad that they're not sharing that weird little world together. I genuinely adored them! I hope it'll turn out okay eventually. For all my annoyance at Ryan Ross and his dirty cokey ways, I don't want to see him self-destruct. Not like I think it's going to happen but it wouldn't quite shock me. Hang in there, you fucking weirdo.

Gossip Gurlz, episodes 4 - 6
running commentary = v interesting )

mouf hurts

Jul. 31st, 2009 06:44 pm
kerpingtack: corgis on the beach where the corgis are free (Default)
You know what?! I was browsing through my last.fm (mmm self-obsession) and the picture for Panic! at the Disco was a recent one of just Brendon and Spencer:


I'm hot-linking but it's for justice :(

And then I was like, 'holy shit, this is a DUO.' And that made me really excited for some reason!? The description made me all :D too: Panic! At the Disco is currently a two-piece pop/rock band hailing from Las Vegas, Nevada. That sounds legit as fuck! TWO-PIECE BAND. DUO OF TALENTED MUSICIANS. Oh man I'm so excited! Oh ho hooooooooooo I would lol so hard if disco became the darlings of the music blog world and the Young Hipsters Veins were ignored. I am not spiteful, I just don't see the point in jerking off to Pitchfork.

I've been reading a lot of poetry lately. Well, I should say, I've been re-reading the thirty or so poems that I actually like. I've given up on understanding most everything I read so I just operate on DO I LIKE THIS? CHECK Y/N. I like Rainer Maria Rilke and E. E. Cummings (I read a huge essay when I was like 12 on how it was E. E. Cummings, not e. e. cummings, so ever since then I've capitalized it, I don't give a fuck).

"Late Hours"
On summer nights the world
moves within earshot
on the interstate with its swish
and growl, an occasional siren
that sends chills through us.
Sometimes, on clear, still nights,
voices float into our bedroom,
lunar and fragmented,
as if the sky had let them go
long before our birth.

In winter we close the windows
and read Chekhov,
nearly weeping for his world.

What luxury, to be so happy
that we can grieve
over imaginary lives.
- Lisel Mueller

Scrap of a dream I had a few years ago: I was in the garden room or the porch of this house in the suburbs reading Shakespeare out loud with my cousin and it was very windy. I wrote it down in the middle of a Word document that had, like, network key passwords and such.

God, what?! Jon and Ryan went to see Paul McCartney in Vegas?? First of all, wow, DATE NIGHT. Second, I WANT TO SEE PAUL MCCARTNEY IN VEGAS. OR ANYWHERE. Why do hipsters get to go and I doooooon't?? (I will stop hating once they stop being hipsters.)

Here is a rant that has been a long time coming: I do not like the Jonas Brothers )

That was longer than I thought it would be.
kerpingtack: corgis on the beach where the corgis are free (Default)
HOLY FUCKING SHIT WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS "MY GUEST" THING

WTFFFFFFFFFFF LIVEJOURNAL, PUT THAT AWAY

*BREATHES INTO PAPER BAG*

I am not even kidding, my lurking is VERY important to me. I will one day emerge from my hermitdom to actually comment on things but I am not ready for that day. I refuse to let some "My Guest" feature push me around!! >:o

Let's talk disco:

I am not one of those real good-natured fans who still loves and supports everyone. I am Team Brendon & Spencer because I love them both and I've loved the original Panique! a la discotheque, and I am not Team Ryan and Jon because I hate hipsters. And even if Ryan Ross is not a hipster down to his very soul (pfffft), he still WANTS to be one and is going around acquiring all the necessary trappings. No. NO. I refuse!!! Fuck that noise.

I quite hope that disco will indeed be able to pull off the best parts of Fever and Pretty. Odd. because that would seriously be DAMN AWESOME. I trust bdonatron and Spencer Smith so I just hope it all works out for them.

The Young Veins is not as terrible as I would have liked (ahaha yeah IT'S GOING TO BE LIKE THAT. okay I don't want them to not succeed, I just don't want to be a part of it. I don't want to like them! Ryan Ross is such a fuckface right now!) but I'm glad that it left me feeling pretty cold. It definitely sounds like it's from the 60s/70s, so... props. It sounds so much like that though, that it's not particularly fresh. It feels derivative. Pretty. Odd. (and It's Almost Halloween, why not) was also definitely influenced by 60s poprocketc but it didn't feel stale or flimsy or pointless. I seriously think it's because of Brendon's voice. He doesn't sound like anyone else singing right now. It gives everything a different texture. I don't like New Perspective all that much either, but it doesn't sound lifted straight from something else. If I was kinder and more inclined to Ryan and Jon: Adventures in Hipster-bros, I would say that it was kinda cute. Like, there's a part in the verses that sounds exactly like Blue Oyster Cult's Godzilla. That's cute! I like the Blue Oyster Cult!

I'm weirdly glad about the Ian Crawford news. I only say 'weirdly' because I didn't think I had any opinions about the Cab whatsoever. But I do? I knew that that dude was fucking good though.

God I don't like that they split up! It is skeevy as hell. Who the fuck splits up like two seconds before a tour? That's fucked. Ryan Ross, you better fix this. It seems strained from where ~we're sitting.

I read the best story I'll probably read all year, a bandom fic called Sweet Science. It's so good. You don't need to know anything about bandom; first, it's an AU, and second, it's so good that it doesn't even matter. It's everything about how hard life is and how sad and how good and how sweet it is, how the people around you hold you up just by the virtue of who they are and how much you love that. It was such a good thing to read at this moment of my life.

oh, glory

Jul. 10th, 2009 09:52 am
kerpingtack: sarah with a fine moustache (sarah thinks you look ridiculous)
I listened to the 30 sec clip of the new PatD's demo of their new song, Oh Glory, and I like the looks of it. I do really appreciate bden, Spencer, and Peet's consideration to the fans. I don't care if it's not completely genuine, like if they're really all FUCK EVERYTHING, I WANT TO EAT CHEETOS ALONE IN MY ROOM, and this reassuring twittering is just a coping method/professionalism/hard cold capitalism. IT IS STILL NICE TO KNOW THAT THE DISCO DREAM IS NOT OVER.

OKAY BUT MY MAIN POINT IS.

"If I wake in the morning, I only need two more miracles to become a saint / everything I promised everyone I'd ever be, well I just ain't
Lately it seems like everybody's sick, everybody's dying / build myself a wall of unhappy hearts, but I know in my heart that my head is lying, lying / Oh, glory...."

Brendon Urie, did you write this?! DID YOU WRITE THIS?!?! IF YOU WROTE THIS. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF. I THINK MY HEAD IS SORT OF IMPLODING WITH LOVE. OMG. BDENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN ;___; YOU ARE AMAZING AND I LOVE YOU. SOMEONE BETTER BE HUGGING YOU RIGHT THIS MOMENT. OMFG. AHHHHHHHHHHH
kerpingtack: green glass window installations (treatment)
The wireless in my room worked for like two hours before fucking out again. I'm in the Doe Library (I know of this from my work at ILL. You guys print on thin grey paper and blue ink! Your barcodes don't scan!!). It's a lot nicer looking overall than YRL. PROPS BURK BURK GURHHHHHRHRHH

I've made a huge mistake. /GOB This Berkeley thing was a mistake. I can't remember why I was looking forward to this. Like... what did I think would happen? Why did I think this was a good idea? I feel like a needy, crazy, pathetic nuisance. Yeah, just what I wanted, an extra month and a half of unnecessary bullshit. This was fucking stupid of me. It's ruined everything. I have to have things to daydream about and never fulfill them because it's fucking unrealistic and it's not going to happen. Why do I expect this out of things? Out of people? You could've seen this coming a mile away, self, you were just too desperate to acknowledge it. Yeah.

Probably every year since 2006 I've lost something or another. I've been slowly losing my ability to feel safe, anyway. Oh the dramatics! I wish knowing something helped you deal with it. If I start to think about anything in my life for too long I want to beat my head in with a shovel. Soooo.

This is the first band break-up I've ever been through! Well I was a fan when the Pipettes broke up but they weren't huge for me. Oh disco. I'm glad it was you, you bring just enough lulz to soothe the pain~. Ahahah oh shit I probably would've killed myself if I was around when the Beatles broke up. PUBLIC GRIEVING IS ATTRACTIVE! ... if Belle and Sebastian break up, I will be traumatized for life. No, seriously. :|

I'm glad that Spencer stayed with bden. I think they'll be good together. OMG this shit is so crazy, wtf. I'm kind of seriously done with Ryan Ross. I didn't know I cared so much about all the things he chooses to be, but I do! If he wants to be a hipster, he can jump off my dick and be the dirty cokey hipster he wants to be. That's just FINE. WHATEVER! UGH HIPSTERS.

I really really like McCartney. Unenlightening thoughts: I think it's really obvious that Paul LOVES music, and loves it in a pure kind of way. It's not about the trappings for him and it's not a vehicle for something else; music is important because it's music. Paul's lyrics get criticized as trite and inane, and I admit, sometimes I do think, "that mofo didn't even try with this song," but that case isn't the norm. I like whimsy and wordplay, and P.McC has got that in spades. I like when you can tell that he's gotten wrapped up with the SOUND of the words themselves and the voice becomes another layer of music and another instrument for him to use. I'm thinking of the end of Hey Jude and moar especially, the end of Long-Haired Lady. Ohhhhhh looooooove is looooooooooooooooooooong, loooooove is looooooooooooooooooooong, loooove is loooooooo-ooooooooooooo-oooooooooong x10000. But to be fair, I also love it when it's obvious that he never got around to finishing the lyrics and just ba-ba-bas his way through a verse. Or half a song. I LU PAWWWWWL.

last thing

Jul. 8th, 2009 03:31 pm
kerpingtack: corgis on the beach where the corgis are free (Default)
twitter still makes me angry but it's more frustrated angry than AUGH THIS IS STUPID angry. On the one hand I still think that it's pretty whorey to have conversations out in twitter when you could just text someone. Maybe it's better to step back and look at it as a performance instead of ~ugh celebrities are the attention whoriest~. Stop being ~cool~ in public! You're attracting creepers!

On the other hand I can understand that maybe some of them don't mean to, and that twitter's convenience is meaningful. It can be an important way for people to have a voice? Like disco's break-up was first really legitimated by Zack's twitter message (I REFUSE TO CALL IT A TWEET), so celebrities can speak directly. And le people can use that # thing to protest shit, the way googlebombing does.

ANYWAY.

I've realized that Ryan Ross has preeeetty much completed his transformation into a hipster and now he's dead to me. Jon, by association, is too. SORRY, NASCENT RYAN-JON-ALEX GREENWALD BAND! LOLOLOLOL RYRO.

LOL D: LOL

Jul. 8th, 2009 03:17 pm
kerpingtack: corgis on the beach where the corgis are free (Default)
LOL I CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE IT

RYAN ROSS YOU FUCKING DOUCHEBAG!! OMG LOL BUT D: BUT LOL????? I'M SO CONFUSED

WHY DID THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN? OMG JON AND RYAN ARE SUCH COCKS!! AHAHAH THEY JUST LEFT

I AM THINKING OF ALL THE GSF FICS AND LOLING BUT ALSO D:ING AND OMG LOL D: LOL!!!

WELL IT'S OKAY BDEN AND SPENCER WERE MY FAVORITES AND ZACK IS STICKING WITH THEM AND HE IS LIKE THE COOLEST PERSON IN BANDOM BESIDES LIKE ALEX SUAREZ AND RYLAND AND BUTCHER AND BRIAN SCHECTER (SP???) AND MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE (I'M SRS!!)

LOL RYAN ROSS MADE THE BAND

AND THEN HE LEFT IT

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAAAAAAA OMMMMMMMG RYAN ROSS, RYAN ROSS!!!!!!!

I CANNOT THINK OF RYAN ROSS AS A HUMAN BEING ANYMORE (NOT THAT I EVER DID), ESPECIALLY SINCE HE BROKED KELTIE'S HEART. HE IS JUST A LULZ ROBOT. LULLLLLLLLLZZZZZZZZZZZ

PANIC! AT: JON AND RYAN ARE LOLTARDED DICKBAGS.
THE DISCO: SPENCER AND BDEN ARE THE BEST EVER
OKAY I THINK I CAN LIVE WITH THIS

WHAT.

Jul. 8th, 2009 03:01 pm
kerpingtack: corgis on the beach where the corgis are free (Default)
DISCO SPLIT UP

WHAT.

I REPEAT.

WHAT.

kerpingtack: corgis on the beach where the corgis are free (call it freedom in an old age)
You might be wondering, "Why the heavens is mine goodly frond counttheplanes up so early?" Wonder no more, for I will tell you: THERE IS A FUCKING FLY IN HERE AND I CANNOT FUCKING SLEEP WITH A FLY CONSTANTLY DIVEBOMBING NEAR MY HEAD.

THIS IS THE NUMBER ONE REASON
WHY
I
HATE
FLIES

FUCKERS CANNOT SENSE THE MURDEROUS INTENT SEETHING OUT OF ME AND THEY KEEP FLYING NEAR MY HEAD WHEN I AM TRYING TO SLEEP

O H M Y F U C K I N G G O D

*cleansing breath*

I had a dream that I was participating in some weird musical test/obstacle course and the person who finished first got a mysterious prize. I did everything upto the last part. I was all tired and it seemed like too much effort at the time so I was like, I'll finish this shit later~ so I went out with my fambly to eat and run errands and stuff. Later I came back and finished it and it turns out I was still the first one done. The ever-mysterious "They" told me my prize was at home. I thought it was like a meeting with Pete Wentz or something so I was all, ~great~ but when I got home, THE PRIZE WAS STUART MURDOCH. *_______* I was all omg Stuart Murdoch, if I knew it was you I wouldn't have taken so long to finish the course, and he was like "No, don't worry about it!" I thought it was just going to be a quick meeting but Stuart M. said that he could stay for a while. I think he was hungry. He rummaged through our kitchen and ~helped himself to a lot, and was like "Do you have pancakes? I could really go for some pancakes." I recognized that he was being a wee bit entitled but I was like THIS IS WHAT HE'S USED TO (?? in life? from fans?? idk what) and was *______* all the same. LOLLO HE ANNOYED MY MOM. She was like, "When is he going to leave? >:|" I'm sure Stuart can be a douchebag but I don't think he'd be a douchebag in this way, dream. IT WOULDN'T MATTER ANYWAY. (I ended up making pancakes for him.) STUUUUUUUARTTTT. *______*

That fucking fly woke my sister up too!! UGHHHHH FLY.




I LOVE THIS. AND HIM. Embarrassingly enough, my disco love IS about ~the music~. I really really like his voice. Put out your new album, disco.
kerpingtack: alec baldwin in beetlejuice (CHEKRD SHRT + GLASSES = YES YES YES!!)
CAPS BUTTON ONNNN

I was JUST saying today to my sister that the disco needed to release new music because I had not felt the love for a while and I needed something to spark it again. Like I was looking at pictures of bden and thinking "wtf, self, what was wrong with you? you mentally betrothed yourself to THIS guy?" Not that I still don't love him a lot, I just don't want to spend my old lady days with him. You know. Because I'm sane.

AGHHHHHH HE WROTE A LULLABYE FOR THE WENTZ BABY WITH SPENCIER SMITH, DISCO DRUMMER, AND IT IS ADORRRRABLE. LULLABYE. FOR. BABY. OMG. BDEN. COME TO MEEEEEEEEE. <3__<3
kerpingtack: google image of stained glass (candy floss)
The subject line means absolutely nothing.

I woke up at 7:30 today and couldn't go back to sleep. What the jesus is that bullshit!! I don't even have to be at work until 1! Urg ork.

LOL I am a ridiculous person; to treat myself for uhh doing the bare minimum required of me (ie attend all my finals), I hella pampered myself yesterday and got all gussied up so I could sit around the couch for five hours doing nothing, IN STYLE. Listen I can barely brush my teeth, this is all a huge effort for me.

Jesca Hoop's Summertime makes me want to like jump in a lake, it's so good and fresh that I need to GET AWAY from it. Overwhelmed!

Daily affirmation! Things I like about myself:
- I try to be fair. Uhhhh disregard whether I succeed or not (I don't) but I try. Sometimes. Whatever, at times, I sort of think about being fair!
- I like cat macros. I seriously think people who can't at least appreciate macros are missing something fundamental about life.
- My tendency toward 24/7 self-indulgence gives me a high...ish threshold for other's people's self-indulgence! I don't know why I think this is positive, but yeah! It's not really empathy, it's more like "eh, they need to get this out of their system, I get it."

Oh ho ho the worst insult I can think of is, "You're like a REPUBLICAN." LOOOL. I will never stop making Sweeping Generalizations about Republicans.

Guy + cat = GAME OVER, I'M SOLD.

Personal Beatlemania continues! I hella like that there's already a term, because when I was going through the disco thing all I could say was I'M GOING CRAZY. I'm sure there's something to be said about that but someone else can ~unpack~ the meaning.

Speaking of which:


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Image and video hosting by TinyPic


LOL Ryan Ross! It gives me great personal satisfaction to think of Ryan Ross staying up late on his laptop, clicking industriously through photo galleries of the Beatles and filing away tips. Hopefully he wrote down "Never look Amish" somewhere. LOOOL Ryan Ross looking at pictures of Paul McCartney's GODAWFUL mullet years! YEARS! Ahahahah!

RINGO!!!!


"We all have our special fans. If all four of us had to stand in front of a million fans, and they lined up behind the one they liked best... I think Paul would get the most. John and George would get joint second. And Ringo would be last. That's what I think. With John and Paul, their own fans tend to not like the other one as much. But with me, I get John fans and Paul fans as well. They all like me at the same time as their own special favorite. So perhaps if you counted 'second' votes, I might win. They all want to mother me. I bring out the maternal bit, sentimental little Ritchie. Old women like me as well as little girls. I always got that even as a kid."


THAT'S BECAUSE YOU ARE THE BEST OF THEM ALL
kerpingtack: sarah with a fine moustache (sarah thinks you look ridiculous)
Everything is just for my personal year in music. I don't really keep up to speed with actual current music. Pretty much only things from 2008 I listened to was the disco, Fleet Foxes' White Winter Hymnal, 3 MGMT songs, and Taylor Swift. No particular order!

Top 10 6 Albums
Guided By Voices - Under the Bushes, Under the Stars
    psst! Ghosts of a Different Dream
The Langley Schools Music Project - Innocence and Despair
    psst! Rhiannon
Panic at the Disco - Pretty. Odd.
    psst! She's A Handsome Woman
Life Without Buildings - Any Other City
    psst! Let's Get Out
Tegan and Sara - The Con
    psst! Like O, Like H
The Pipettes - We Are the Pipettes
    psst! Why Did You Stay?

I'd like to sincerely thank the disco for helping me not be embarrassed to like what I like. I'm not completely fearless about it, I am still all "whatever will people think!" sometimes, but that is because I am freakishly insecure and dependent on validation from other people, not because of any quel horreur nature of the disco. And the disco has seriously brought me so much love and joy and insanity, it feels wrong to be ashamed of it. (ALSO BDEN URIE IS A RADIANT STAR IN THE CONSTELLATION OF MY UNIVERSE.)

Wiff this, I realized that I was kind of a indie hipster snob about music in that I was hung up about what ~kind~ of person listens to what ~kind~ of music. I thought I had mostly let go of this but it turns out, not so much! I am still resisting actually LIKING Fall Out Boy and My Chemical Romance's music, but I kind of like both of their most recent stuff. They are the Borg, resistance is futile, etc. There are worse things to be than a Fall Out Boy fan. Hahaha that's so insulting, why am I being such a douchebag? I know I would be hella butthurt if I say someone say "I'm sure that liking the disco is not the complete end of the world" or whatever. Oh I don't know. I think I have to give up the idea of an objective good and an objective bad altogether. Why do I still have this idea anyway?? This entry is just BLAH BLAH BLAH I'M DUMB AS ROCKS. Well this whole lj is, but this post in particular.
kerpingtack: corgis on the beach where the corgis are free (call it freedom in an old age)
I am crazy from a fic I just read with Ryan Ross from disco getting married to his girlfrond and omg it made me crazy, I WANT IT TO HAPPEN IN REAL LIFE, because I am a creeper creep creep!! Also I wish that getting married was a guarantee for happiness, even though it's actually like the opposite. Oh, snap!

In all seriousness I love Ryan Ross/what I know of Ryan Ross, and the same to his girlfrond (I sort of excuse myself wrt having any kind of opinion on her b/c she is sorrrrrrt of a public figure. I mean not really enough to justify fannish scrutiny, but actually being a public figure isn't enough to justify fannish scrutiny most of the time either sooooo. idk, I love them apart and together and etc forever lord I'm a creeper D:). 

From an entry made like in the spring of this year:

Read a story. My heart is broken.

I hate that I can't just enjoy things I read because I always have to turn it back to myself and how I will never be able to do that. I just hate that I do that all the time. I can't let things go. I always do shit I know is just going to make me miserable. I make myself feel bad.

It's all still true. I don't know, I've been writing/thinking about writing (almost as good hurr hurr hurr) more often, but it's bringing out the jealous shit hardcore. The jealousy is part of something bigger, mainly just how I am a hateful person who is never happy. Ha! ha! ha... D: I am like the mom who buys her son two ties, a blue one and a red one, and when her son wears the blue one out to dinner with her she says sadly, "I guess you didn't like the red one..................................."

.......................................................

.....................

YEAH! By the by I don't understand people who use ellipses exactly like periods. I have never understood this! You know what I mean... it makes them sound like they're trailing off... like all the time... it's kind of weird... lol... :)

Anyway I wish that I could just read things and enjoy them instead of always thinking about myself and trying to compare. I want myself to be irrelevant all the time to be honest.  

Life is really hard you guys. I mean not even just for me!!!!!! *shot* It is though! OMG I should write a song about it. People will cry from how truthy it is. Nooo but really, it's hard. Sad things are always happening to good people. It's just stuff no one should have to deal with, but like... EVERYONE does have to deal with it, all the time. Like my sister's frond has this douchey ex-boyfrond w/ an anger problem and he spread all these horrible rumors about her and lots of people are on his side because he's an asshole and she's just a girl. Or my cousins. Or John Walsh and his son (err recent news article). But I'm saying it doesn't have to be extreme like that either. So many people deserve to be happy without compromises but it doesn't happen that way. I'm not making an appeal for "perfect," it's just that, life is so hard, and everyone having to go through all these really sad hard things, even if they can deal with it perfectly well b/c they are strong and everything, well like, they shouldn't have to. I'M SAD. And crazy. 

Okay continuing: I cannot even read articles on RPATTZ anymore b/c of all this SUDDEN GUILT. THE ATTN IS SERIOUSLY REALLY FREAKING HIM OUT AND OVERWHELMING HIM. But I enjoy all the by-products of this attention (ie interviews, SO MANY VIDEO INTERVIEWS *___*)? But I FEEL SO GUILTY? RPATTZ I JUST WANT TO LOVE YOU. ohhh godddddddddddddddddd I really want him to be okay and still be the troo RPATTZ he is inside, because he is just so cool and smart and strange and funny. He really is the best boy to me.

soi-disant

Nov. 23rd, 2008 10:15 pm
kerpingtack: sarah with a fine moustache (sarah thinks you look ridiculous)
So I have two education papers that will take me a long time to finish, and they are both due next Monday. I will be at home Tuesday - Sunday and I know I will not get any work done then. I have done NOTHING for these papers.

I felt so incredibly fucked up this whole weekend.

Pictures for cheering up!

groovy love song, halle, hallelujah! )

GOOD NIGHT, AND GOOD LUCK EVERYONE!
kerpingtack: corgis on the beach where the corgis are free (call it freedom in an old age)
- Ivan the manager of the Panda Express on campus is the best guy. I just wanted that on the record. He was so nice it makes me feel bad! Get everything your heart desires, Ivan, okay!!
- JJB is a knight for Halloween and my mom says he looks really cute! Ahhhhhhh!!111
- I'm roofed and I hate it.
- I signed up for NaNoWriMo. I might actually try this year?!
- I'm thinking about signing up for NaBloPoMo but uhhh it's not like I need any help in posting everyday. I mostly want an excuse to do it ahahahahhhhhhhh.
- Listen. Okay. No jinxing but, PRESIDENT OBAMA = !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- Roomie keeps hanging around the kitchen. I'M HUNGRY AND I WANT TO MAKE MY STUPID INEPT FOOD FAR FROM YOUR JUDGING EYES ROOMIE, PLS GTFO. Why is she here?? She has a life and friends and it's Friday, Halloween!!! She should be OUT.
- I keep forgetting to mention; I got some mp3s of RPattz/M. Ransom singing and whoaz. I did not know he sounded like that! Or could sound like that! Get outta town, RPattz, you are way rad.
- I slept a monstrous amount last night, at least 10 hours. It was awesome.
- I love bden guest singing on songs so much, oh my god, just so much. Just sing moaaaaaaaaaaaaar bden.
- Relatedly! LOL the lyrics for one of the songs he is (ft. Brendon Urie)'d on:
She requires riches recherché, riding with rodomontading roués.
Casanovas have charmed with chiffons, so chichi.
Chased her with their conceited coteries.
Maharajahs have magniloquently mouthed their love for me through their menageries.
She’s been propositioned, propounded by every pompous prince.
Given panniers of peerless pears and plums, polished.
I’ve been seduced with shimmering, sparkling stones.
Squired by suitors to sizable chateaus.
You have to respect that. It's a musical! 
- Relatedly! I am such a sap, Forgive Durden's (the same band who did the song above) It's True Love really works for me. IDK~
- I want ice cream and burritos and buffalo wings.
- I want stencils.
- I want roomie ouuuuuuuuuuuuuuut.
- Still have to make my mom's birthday card. Le sign!!
- If I do some hardcore weaselling, I could get out of here on the Tuesday of the week of Thanksgiving. The last Amtrak bus leaves at 1:15 PM. I hate those rat-bastards, why won't they EVER have a bus that leaves after that?? Otherwise I have to take the fucking 1:25 AM bus again. 
- Roomie's watching NCIS or something and it's really stupid. I don't understand any of these procedural shows. She's also watching it really loud. Wait now she's watching the TV Guide channel SPECIFICALLY for one of those annoying TV Guide shit that takes up over half the screen. Oh my god.
- I have no opinion on Jennifer Hudson but what happened was really really awful and from what I've seen the typical celebrity media has been whorible about it.
- TDS and all affiliated persons of fried gold are national treasures.
- disco's new video for Northern Downpour
ZOMG it's pretentious.
That being said I wish they used different fonts.
That being said my favorite typography'd lyrix are "northern downpour", "my one and lonely" with the security cameras and the homeless guy, and the bat signal "hey moon."
I love Brendon's little jaw click/wiggle vibrato~ thing at the one minute mark. Aghhhhh bden.
He looks really good in this video btw. What. WHAT. His pants are unacceptable though. Just say no to leggings, bden.
Ryan's little badger face! Looking squinty in the sun and therefore cranky! Bader badger badger.
- Comprehensive List of Things I Ate Today
1 grilled cheese sandwich w/ mayonnaise spread on the outsides instead of butter (butter is better btw)
1 lunch meat "chicken breast"/cheese/mayonnaise/peanut butter/lettuce sandwich
1 really small serving of Hamburger Helper fettucine alfredo something
2 "Toaster Treats" (Ralph's Pop-Tarts knockoff)
kimchi
woter
- Good: I dropped some weight; Bad: It was mostly boob-weight. :d
- WHY IS ROOMIE STILL HERE???

MY LIFE

Oct. 25th, 2008 02:14 pm
kerpingtack: alec baldwin in beetlejuice (CHEKRD SHRT + GLASSES = YES YES YES!!)



WATCH IT YOU MISERABLE BASTARDS WATCH IT WATCH IT WATCH IT

~THEY DID IT ALL BY THEMSELVES~

DISCO I CANNOT EVEN BELIEVE HOW WONDERFUL YOU ARE, YOU ARE ALL THE DREAMS I NEVER KNEW I HAD COMING TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WAS SCREAMING MY HEAD OFF FROM THE FIRST SECOND OMG AND ALL MY HOLY CATS AND AHHHMGKGJLA;SDKFLJ;LKJSDJF;LS LORD HELP ME

THERE ARE LIKE THREE DOZEN OTHER DISCO THINGS THAT HAPPENED RECENTLY THAT I CAPS'D OUT ABOUT BUT THIS SMASHED MY FACE OFF WITH ITS EXQUISITE PERFECKTION!!!!!!! THESE CAPS ARE NOT SARCASTICAPS!!!
kerpingtack: alec baldwin in beetlejuice (CHEKRD SHRT + GLASSES = YES YES YES!!)
I AM SO IN LOVE WITH THE DISCO RIGHT NOW

ELEVENTYONE PAGES OF INCOHERENT SHOUTING UNDER THE CUT )

CONCLUSION: OMMMMMMMMMMG BDENNNNNNNNNNNNNN

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