kerpingtack: leslie knope ha-HA! (beam of pure light)
This is just too fucking cute.

edit @ 12:33 am
whatevers )

quickbooks

Jun. 4th, 2011 12:24 pm
kerpingtack: police frog doodle (copper)
quickthoughts
- I'm throwing myself into a sea of love right now and there are a million tabs open omg so many things, SO MANY THINGS. It is insane how perfectly, PERFECTLY perfect he is to me. Flawless from every angle of his being omg. I really can't handle how much I love him. He's just so...!! Also, I am pleased that Immortal Song 2 ships jongho kekekeke omg what has this stanning done to me.
- I think part of the limpness of kpop fics is that people are unwilling to give their characters problems? Like emotional/personality-based ones, not just romantic pursuit type problems. It's a lot of describing or setting up scenarios. I'm rereading my favorite bandom fics and I think the emphasis on emotional arcs, personal histories, how difficult these personalities can be, etc. made those stories really compelling to me. Need more of that shit. I guess maybe because kpop itself is such escapist fantasy that the fics don't seem to situate them in the real world? Also because of cultural differences? Question mark? 
- this thought hit me like a sack of brick last week while I was shelving in the library~: procrastination is not about schoolwork, it's about my whole life. after I'm done with school I'm still going to have this issue where I just put off shit and back myself into corners so I'm either forced to go through with it all at once or sink/drown/die. inescapable self!
- SNSD's album is rly geat for me. There's so much Sunny!! Bad Girl, youaholic, and the Great Escape are my favorites from the new songs. Taeyeon thrashing about being a tiny rock star dudette is so amazingly charming. She sounded amazeballs at the concert too. And the dance line all sounded really really good in their solos, especially Hyoyeon and Yuri. Ahhhhh soshiiiiiiiiiiiiii <3___<3
- I made my sister watch Jonghyun's perfomance of A Million Roses and she said that I have chosen well and she will approve if I marry him. kekekeke ommmmmmmg why am I so obvious and unable to control myself, everyone around me knows that I want to kidnap Jonghyun and make him my child bride. lol wat, who said that? But the day before yesterday we also had this conversation:
me: Can you indulge me a little?
her: Um...  alright.
me: *pulling up fancam* It's only 26 seconds long.
her: But your 26 second videos are the worst ones.
I can't argue that. ;~~; But he's so fancammable. What does that mean? idk. JONGHYUN.

edit @ 3:55pm 
omg where is everyone, I need someone to validate my existence right now.

I really like that idol singing show. It's good to see the different performance styles and song ~interpretations. For me the ranking for the tournament part was Hyorin (undeniable), Jonghyun, Changmin, IU, Yoseob/Yesung. idk Yoseob is fine but sounds outclassed to me. I wonder how much they have a say in how expansive their stages are. The slower/quieter songs seem like they're at a disadvantage performance-wise unless it's really dramatic I guess. The audience is like a sea of ahjummas lol. And so many people tearing up at all the boring ballads. Ugh the way the show is set up is dumb as fuck. I know it's to make it more suspenseful, but omg I hate reality competition show suspense SO MUCH (fucking SYTCD omfg) and it just stirs up unnecessary fandom drama. It makes sense for determining the winner but not for the rest of the ranking. Like for example for today's show it looks like Hyorin > IU/Yoseob/Changmin > Jonghyun > Yesung, but it really depends on who was matched with who for everyone below Hyorin.
kerpingtack: police frog doodle (copper)
Since my soash of family professor takes forever to say a lot of nothing I usually end up doodling or outlining things I want to talk about. It makes zero difference but I wrote this a couple of days ago and forgot to switch it out of private lock. wot wot wot

as usual 75% is kpop )
kerpingtack: corgis on the beach where the corgis are free (Default)
GAHHHHHH FUCK THIS PAPER

PLACEHOLDER

I wanna talk about
SNSD
Taylor Swift
The Shirelles

not in any relation to one another and nothing substantive either, just wanna talk

also listening to Visual Dreams for 100th time. Gaaaad I FUCKING LOVE SUNNY OMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMG I LOVE YOU SUNNY!!!!111 I'm so happy she's featured so prominently in the Intel ads. She's like a main singer in the song and she's in the center in the ads omg which I've only seen one like other time before and she looks so good in the Dior ads and ugh I love you Sunny ilu Sunny i love uuuuuuuuuuuuuu Sunnnnnnnyyyyyyy <3__________<3
kerpingtack: badly cropped deers drawn by a korean artist (nearly spring)
spamming the December 2009 Vogue Korea photoshoot with SNSD's Seohyun and SHINee~

wild swans )
kerpingtack: police frog doodle (copper)
One day I'll look back at my lj and marvel at how relentlessly I enshrined my kpop obsession. And then I will go back to organizing my Jonghyun pictures.

Seriously though, SNSD and Jonghyun will be loves for the rest of my life. Listen. I am so out of control. I put the sticky note widget on my phone and I wrote "jonghyun!" on it when I was bored and I seriously get excited when I see it. JUST FROM SEEING HIS NAME. O M G. Even when I grow out of legit being in love with Jonghyun I will still always love him, I don't even care. And I will be an SNSD fan until the day I die. LOL there's an official fanmeet with free merchandise (and possibly SNSD in person?!) in LA on Saturday. I'm seriously thinking about going. This is big for me; I will do anything to avoid going outside when I don't have to and to avoid people in general and this sounds like it could be ridiculously awkward. BUT I REALLY LOVE THEM.

life without shame looks like this )
kerpingtack: illustration for aladdin 1928 "Aladdin Saluted Her with Joy" (salut her with joy)
Man I really didn't realize just how popular SNSD was. I mean, I knew they were popular and beloved, but I thought it was like a generalized girl group popularity, even if they're at the top of that particular heap, and I was worried that they'd drop out of public favor and disband and be forgotten. OMG that's not going to happen anytime soon, AT ALL. They're the first girl group to ever win the Album Daesang award (which is like The Big Award I guess?? the Korean music industry is kind of shambling, they have like twelve different charts and different companies boycott different awards shows, etc. but I know this is a big deal!!) and the first artist ever to win both the Album Daesang and the Digital Music Daesang. They are so loved. Look at this fancam, they were so not expecting it. Everyone looks genuinely shocked. Taeyeon crying, she doesn't usually cry. The way they pull each other in for a hug at the end. ;____;

;____; i say ;____; )

Oh man, when they first debuted they had a lot of stupid little controversies that were just people giving them shit for no reason. In 2008 a bunch of fan clubs for other bands got together and decided to "boycott" them during the Dream Concert, so when SNSD went on stage like the whole stadium turned off their glowsticks and stayed silent the entire performance. Shit like that. But now they're really number one in the whole country, not just among girl groups or idols, and they're so down-to-earth and funny and kind and they really love one another. Oh man. I'm so soft inside right now. SOSHI FOREVER YOU GUYS

http://oi38.tinypic.com/xqcljo.jpg

j'ai faim

Dec. 9th, 2010 06:26 am
kerpingtack: corgis on the beach where the corgis are free (Default)
HERE I AM, AWAKE, 2 HOURS UNTIL MY BULLSHIT INTRO SOASH FINAL

My stats prof emailed to say that the final grades were posted already. The website doesn't have the grade for the final exam but it does have "Final Grades," and it says that I have an A. wot. That seriously cannot be right. The stats final went horrrrrrribly. For fuck's sake I was over an hour late because I thought it started at NINE instead of eight. (?????????????? WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME.) And I failed that piece of shit like none other. The final was worth 40%; I did okay on the other 60% except for the quizzes. It's possible that I didn't fail the class and got above a C, but there's no way I got a solid A.

This soash final is worth 45% of the grade. I don't know how to study for it so I pretty much didn't! LOL I don't take this class seriously at all.

the real reason I opened up the lj tab:

CRYING WAIT LOOOOOOL OMG SHINEE'S PERFORMANCE OF LUCIFER AT THE GOLDEN DISK AWARDS

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL O M G O M G OMGGGG

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT

I WOULD BE SO EMBARRASSED IF I HAD STANDARDS ANYMORE. I'M LITERALLY TEARING UP FROM LAUGHING. WHAT ARE THEY WEARING. WHAT ARE THEY DOING. WHAT WAS GOING ON. THEY CANNOT PERFORM LUCIFER ANYMORE, THEY WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO TOP JONGHYUN ON THOSE THRONES (MULTIPLE!!!!!!!! LOL WHY DID THEY HAVE HIM WALK FROM ONE THRONE TO ANOTHER A;LDJFSAL;DKJF;KLWJER;LK LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL I LOVE HIM) PURE INSANITY.

HAVE A LINK DAMNIT

AND YAY SNSD WON THE ALBUM DAESANG YAY

PS WHY IS KPOP LJ/ENGLISH-SPEAKING FANDOM SO TERRIBLE. THERE IS NO ~SAFE SPACE~ TO GO. THE ONLY ACTIVE PLACES ARE SO FULL OF STUPIDITY AND BITCHINESS AND LIKE RACISM/SEXISM/ETC OR THEY'RE FORUMS WHICH ARE REALLY NOT MY THING. SO STARVED TO SEE HAPPY CAPSLOCKING ABOUT SHINEE BUT I GOTTA IGNORE ALL THESE STUPID FUCKING PEOPLE WITH THEIR DUMB HANG-UPS ARRGHHHHHH
kerpingtack: green glass window installations (treatment)
UGH LIFE IS SO STUPID RIGHT NOW

IT STARTED TO RAIN HARD AS FUCK WHEN I WAS WALKING FROM THE LIBRARY TO THE BUS STOP AND STOPPED AS SOON AS I GAVE UP AND WENT INSIDE A BUILDING AND THEN STARTED AGAIN AS SOON AS I WALKED BACK OUTSIDE

WHAT THE FUCK IS AN F DISTRIBUTION

I KNOW YOU TEST THE R^2 NULL HYPOTHESIS WITH IT BUT WHAT. IS. IT.

GAHHHHRRR WHY IS EVERYONE SO EAGER TO HATE ON JONGHYUN I'M NOT IMMUNE TO IT YET, IT'S TIRING TO HAVE TO IGNORE IT AGHHHH

AND WAT'S WRONG WITH TUMBLR

okay, done.

blue moon )
kerpingtack: corgis on the beach where the corgis are free (Default)
I guess I'm going to be talking about this now!

Something about kpop that really gets me, just personally as an ~Asian-American~, is that there are people not from Korea in there. Tiffany and Jessica from SNSD are both from California, and so is Nicole from KARA. I think Clazziquai are from Canada. Brian from Fly to the Sky and Tablo are also Americans abroad. Taecyeon from 2PM is from Boston or something, and Jay was... is... whatever, from Chicago or some shit. And like. There is no way they could've been as famous or have the scale of success they'd have in America, you know? I forget what the phrase is, something about occupational selection or something; it describes how professional/service tracks are kind of a default for Asian-Americans because there's basically no future in the entertainment or sports sector. I can't think of any Asian people in the American music market, besides a few people in the indie-ish scene... Vienna Teng, Thao Nguyen, that one guy in Bloc Party?... I can pretty confidently say that there are NONE in big popular music. It's not that Asian-Americans don't want to be actors or singers, because that's clearly not true; it's just that it's unrealistic even above and beyond how unrealistic "making it" already is. I read this old myspace blog by Tiffany before she went to Korea to be a trainee and eventually debut, and it was... idk, there's something sad in that she had to move to Korea to even have a chance, but hopeful and sweet in that she eventually did make it and she's in this super-beloved group and idk idk. 

I understand that kpop IS pop, which means I don't have a leg to stand on if I want to look down on Justin Beiber. Which, fine, I'm not in that demographic; I don't really have a probelm with people being Beriebers or whatever outside of the principle of people flipping their shit for a twelve-year-old who doesn't know what German is. But then I thought does that put kpop on par with the fucking JONAS BROTHERS? My entire soul reflexively cringed. Aaha, I don't know why I never considered this before; the fucking Wonder Girls went on tour with them for a while. Yes, self, they're about the same.

I've already said that I don't care that the Jonas Brothers are manufactured pop. (LOL I still listen to ~Hillary Duff's Metamorphosis~.) My problem with the Jonas Brothers and their fucking ilk is how they have embody almost every kind of privilege imaginable, and all the ignorance that implies, and they have publically demonstrated their commitment to that ignorance! UGHHHH. Anyway, in the context of Korea, kpop embodies those privileges too. (Though internationally, they don't. I don't think kpop star, or any Asian star for that matter, will ever break through the American market.) Dying. I mean, I already knew this, especially in the case of all the men (for the sake of my sanity, I take an "innocent until proven guilty" approach though, ie shouting JONGHYUN PLEASE DON'T BE A DOUCHEBAG ABOUT WOMEN, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE in my soul), but I guess I didn't FULLY REALIZE it until I thought about it as compared to the fucking Jonas Brothers. But whatever, fuck being fair, I have my personal biases and that shit makes me want to understand kpop and keeps me from ever sympathizing with the fucking Jonas Brothers.

The other issue: HIPSTERS. My definition of a hipster, on a DEEP STRUCTURE level, is pretty much the same as the Jonas Brothers, except the Jonas Brothers etc. sacrifice ~looking cool~ for squeezing money out of their fanbase while hipsters will try their hardest to do both at the same time. Hipsters also think they're better than others by virtue of their sainted hipster cocks or their shitty taste in everything or... I have no idea why they think they're better. Actually the trappings of hipsterdom are incidental to me (how they dress, what they listen to, which movies they cream themselves over, general pretentiousness); what makes a hipster a HIPSTER is how they deny or justify their privilege while they exploit the fuck out of it. While being a badly-dressed douchebag. lol okay, Jonghyun is a stylistic hipster but not a hipster in my sense of the word. (This was really the only reason I started thinking about this. ahahah omg.)

So idk what I'm saying! I realize that kpop idols are the privileged fucks of their society but bawww I love them and bawwwww they're all so cute and bawwwwww I'm Asian, I never see Asian people get to be sparkly and stupid and charming as people and not just ornamental blow-up dolls or action figures or quirky/nerdy/pervy diversity casting or cattle footage. Also, it's weird that I'm trying so hard to ~figure out~ kpop right? I don't try to ~figure out~ Amurrican pop. It says some things about the society but it doesn't say everything, and it's not like the entire industry is cohesive. kpop is much smaller and more uniformly controlled (at the very least in the business sense) but it's not a complete monolith so whyyy am I always trying to make sense of things in context of other things??? IT IS JUST CONFUSING. And why am I trying to relate kpop to American pop? I'm so ~between cultures~ right now it is ridiculous. So many feelings. I don't even know. I think about kpop too much in general. I am physically deteriorating. WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE.

.:. IDK I HATE HIPSTERS
kerpingtack: corgis on the beach where the corgis are free (call it freedom in an old age)
What the hell, my posting pattern has been consistent across three weeks: post every day Sunday through Wednesday, don't post anything Thursday - Saturday. I guess that makes me look like I have some semblance of a life but I do not! idk why it's turning out like this~ Also, I assume that if I'm your fronds list, you do not mind useless spam because blogging is my life blood again. And I will most likely be obsessed with kpop until the end of time.

From my bullshit study assignment:

The self-organization and collective action of women (or a "women's movement") is a decisive determinant of the relative "social constraints" and "body of law" codifying the relative personal, civil, and political rights of women or of "gender inequality."

THIS SENTENCE. SAYS. NOTHING. It is a completely null set. Okay, it does say something, but in the wordiest and most meaningless way possible. You could condense it into five words, "women's movements change gender inequality," but he HAAAAS to cram all those fucking clauses and useless "phrases" in there. What the fuck, that's the kind of shit I do, and this asshole is being PAID for it. I fucking hate the professor. And academia in general for its douchemongering support of assholes like him. Ugh the worst is that he isn't even the worst.

fuckin A why am I not able to understand regression? I have so much dumb. 

Speaking of which, my angst with people used to be more focused on how much of an asshole everyone was. Now I'm in the process of accepting how fucking stupid people are. I include myself.

It was windy yesterday! My favorite weather. I always get in a good mood when I walk when it's windy. lol alliteration~ It's finally starting to get cold now. Winter clothes are starting to appear and omfg, I LOVE winter clothes. COATS. GODDAMN.

segregating the kpop )

a series of creeper comments about jonghyun )
kerpingtack: illustration for aladdin 1928 "Aladdin Saluted Her with Joy" (salut her with joy)
My SNSD post is taking forever and I am impatient. LET ME TALK ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS VIDEO

soshi )
kerpingtack: police frog doodle (copper)
THIS IS NOT THAT DAY

SCREAMING O M F G HOOT IS FLAWLESS


THE DESIGN TEAM WINS ONE MILLION EVERYTHINGS, THIS SHIT IS PERFECT

I GO ALL FANGIRL OUT )

kerpingtack: badly cropped deers drawn by a korean artist (nearly spring)
SNSD'S HOOT IS OUT

BRB DYING

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counting at war

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