counting at war (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
kerpingtack) wrote2010-02-20 05:35 pm
kerpingtack) wrote2010-02-20 05:35 pm
Entry tags:
i hate thinking of subject lines
If you're doing a presentation of any kind -- a poster, a card, a power point -- THERE IS NO EXCUSE TO USE TIMES NEW ROMAN. If you need a font with serifs (goddamn his font's got serifs), THERE ARE PLENTY OF OTHER ONES THAT DON'T LOOK SO CHEAP AND UGLY PAST SIZE 12. And there is no excuse to use Comic Sans ever. This is my opinion, thus it should be law.
Yesterday was my sister's birthday! :D :D :D<33 JJB made her a really cute card. I might scan it later.
Time spent in front of mirror trying to raise just one eyebrow: 20 minutes.
This girl at Korean school/church told me that my butt was big. Not even big, she said super big and huge. HUGE! She was all ~oh that's not a bad thing~ but you can't call any body part HUGE and pass it off as a compliment. Except boobs I guess. Of course with regard to the general population, I don't have a big anything, but speaking relative to like 90% of Asian people and especially to my own family, I'm noticeably rounder and thicker. And, my ass is not large in a fantastic way, it's just flabby and embarrassing.
My entire family, on both sides, is naturally very very thin. I've got an aunt who weighs, honest to god, 90 lbs no matter what she eats, and my own mother has never been over 105 lbs in her life, excusing pregnancy. My cousin is the only one who isn't thin. He's not fat; he's really tall and big, but he used to be chubby when he was younger and he got a lot of shit for it. Otherwise, everyone tends toward either lanky as hell or very very petite. I'm neither. I'm thin-to-average, not fat, but I'm definitely the proportionally heaviest of my immediate family. Which wouldn't be a big deal if, again, my family wasn't thin as hell. And also if Korean people didn't think it was their fucking duty to point out everything that's wrong with you. (Okay, that's not a culture-specific thing but Korean people have always been the most unflattering and relentless about it to me. I DON'T CARE WHY, I JUST GENERALIZE THE WAY I FEEL.) My thighs touch, my shoulders aren't small, I have a belly, I have an ass; I have excess. Not a lot but I do.
I used to be a lot more hung up about this because I was stupid and kind of looking for reasons to feel bad about myself, but I'm better now. I have times when I think "omg ~beauty~" and times when I think "FAT AND UGLY" and they're both valid in some ways and totally invalid in others. I know I'm lucky, I don't have to try extremely hard to maintain my weight, my skin and hair don't need a lot of upkeep, etc. And I know it's fucked to think of those things as luck and to value them as much as I do, buying into the beauty myth and all that. All the same, it sucks to find yourself continually wanting.
Speaking of which, my mom continues to be pissed off at me every other hour of the day. She is telegraphing 'useless' and 'ungrateful' straight into my brain!!! Also the other day she started listing all the stuff I managed to fuck up and I was all, 'wow, that's where I get it from!' I do so enjoy itemizing my failures. I can't argue with her, pretty much everything she says is true.
Yesterday was my sister's birthday! :D :D :D<33 JJB made her a really cute card. I might scan it later.
Time spent in front of mirror trying to raise just one eyebrow: 20 minutes.
This girl at Korean school/church told me that my butt was big. Not even big, she said super big and huge. HUGE! She was all ~oh that's not a bad thing~ but you can't call any body part HUGE and pass it off as a compliment. Except boobs I guess. Of course with regard to the general population, I don't have a big anything, but speaking relative to like 90% of Asian people and especially to my own family, I'm noticeably rounder and thicker. And, my ass is not large in a fantastic way, it's just flabby and embarrassing.
My entire family, on both sides, is naturally very very thin. I've got an aunt who weighs, honest to god, 90 lbs no matter what she eats, and my own mother has never been over 105 lbs in her life, excusing pregnancy. My cousin is the only one who isn't thin. He's not fat; he's really tall and big, but he used to be chubby when he was younger and he got a lot of shit for it. Otherwise, everyone tends toward either lanky as hell or very very petite. I'm neither. I'm thin-to-average, not fat, but I'm definitely the proportionally heaviest of my immediate family. Which wouldn't be a big deal if, again, my family wasn't thin as hell. And also if Korean people didn't think it was their fucking duty to point out everything that's wrong with you. (Okay, that's not a culture-specific thing but Korean people have always been the most unflattering and relentless about it to me. I DON'T CARE WHY, I JUST GENERALIZE THE WAY I FEEL.) My thighs touch, my shoulders aren't small, I have a belly, I have an ass; I have excess. Not a lot but I do.
I used to be a lot more hung up about this because I was stupid and kind of looking for reasons to feel bad about myself, but I'm better now. I have times when I think "omg ~beauty~" and times when I think "FAT AND UGLY" and they're both valid in some ways and totally invalid in others. I know I'm lucky, I don't have to try extremely hard to maintain my weight, my skin and hair don't need a lot of upkeep, etc. And I know it's fucked to think of those things as luck and to value them as much as I do, buying into the beauty myth and all that. All the same, it sucks to find yourself continually wanting.
Speaking of which, my mom continues to be pissed off at me every other hour of the day. She is telegraphing 'useless' and 'ungrateful' straight into my brain!!! Also the other day she started listing all the stuff I managed to fuck up and I was all, 'wow, that's where I get it from!' I do so enjoy itemizing my failures. I can't argue with her, pretty much everything she says is true.