counting at war (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
kerpingtack) wrote2008-11-01 12:58 pm
kerpingtack) wrote2008-11-01 12:58 pm
Entry tags:
explanatory
This is my NaBloPoMo lj, to cut down on spamming on my regular lj and to do something with this screenname. I was just so excited the night I came up with it! I didn't really think about what I was going to do with it.
I love Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert's best frondiness. They are such good friends! They enjoy each other's company so much! They are so delighted with each other!!
I started the NaNoWriMo thing. The rules are that you have to start from the very beginning; no continuing on something you've already been working on. Last last year I got a grand total of 939 words out of the required 50,000 words. LOLMG. I don't know why I'm so willing to do this! I think I've just been remembering lately that I actually like writing sometimes. I'm never going to be good, or at least as good as I want to be, or good in a way I want to be, or lots of other conditionals, but I like doing it, and I'll probably be happier once I can accept that just for what it is.
I kinda feel that way about how I look too; I'm not necessarily happy about it but it's stopped mattering so much to me. My face still is so dumb omg but oh whatever, what do I care! My inner life is already over even though my physical life is going to go on for years and years. There's like nothing left in me. Whatever whatever! Like eventually I know the other shoe will drop or whatnot and that I'll be all DD: about it again but for now, I am neutral.
More and more I think I'm never going to be the person I want to be, or the person I always secretly hoped I could be. It's so hard to learn this. It's just that I've always wanted to be so much different than how I am now. I always felt it was not okay to be the way I was, not permanently, not for keeps. I've assumed for a long time that I would change for the better. It's hard. There's so little left in me. MOPING!
I don't get the Jesus and Mary Chain. I think it's like Radiohead again for me. ;d
I'm going to try to make spaghetti today!
edit: The spaghetti turned out serviceable but not really, how do you say, good.
I'm watching King of Queens for the first time. What is wrong with this show?? Patton Oswalt is in it so I thought it can't be that bad. No! I think a lot of people picked up on this, but Main Guy as married to Leah Remini: WHAT?? Does the whole relationship revolve around him belittling her in an annoying schlubby way? Sitcoms are so sexist, lord. Leah Remini is sassy and cute gd it.
And now I'm watching the Shining. Almost definitely a bad idea. I watched two hours of Bravo's 100 Scariest Movie Moments last night too. I have no sense of self-preservation. I really like Shelley Duvall for this movie. The kid is really good too. The score is fucking me up. The directing is amazing, which I know is kind of ridiculous et redundant thing to say about Kubrick, but this is the only movie I've seen of his, and it is really amazing.
I love Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert's best frondiness. They are such good friends! They enjoy each other's company so much! They are so delighted with each other!!
I started the NaNoWriMo thing. The rules are that you have to start from the very beginning; no continuing on something you've already been working on. Last last year I got a grand total of 939 words out of the required 50,000 words. LOLMG. I don't know why I'm so willing to do this! I think I've just been remembering lately that I actually like writing sometimes. I'm never going to be good, or at least as good as I want to be, or good in a way I want to be, or lots of other conditionals, but I like doing it, and I'll probably be happier once I can accept that just for what it is.
I kinda feel that way about how I look too; I'm not necessarily happy about it but it's stopped mattering so much to me. My face still is so dumb omg but oh whatever, what do I care! My inner life is already over even though my physical life is going to go on for years and years. There's like nothing left in me. Whatever whatever! Like eventually I know the other shoe will drop or whatnot and that I'll be all DD: about it again but for now, I am neutral.
More and more I think I'm never going to be the person I want to be, or the person I always secretly hoped I could be. It's so hard to learn this. It's just that I've always wanted to be so much different than how I am now. I always felt it was not okay to be the way I was, not permanently, not for keeps. I've assumed for a long time that I would change for the better. It's hard. There's so little left in me. MOPING!
I don't get the Jesus and Mary Chain. I think it's like Radiohead again for me. ;d
I'm going to try to make spaghetti today!
edit: The spaghetti turned out serviceable but not really, how do you say, good.
I'm watching King of Queens for the first time. What is wrong with this show?? Patton Oswalt is in it so I thought it can't be that bad. No! I think a lot of people picked up on this, but Main Guy as married to Leah Remini: WHAT?? Does the whole relationship revolve around him belittling her in an annoying schlubby way? Sitcoms are so sexist, lord. Leah Remini is sassy and cute gd it.
And now I'm watching the Shining. Almost definitely a bad idea. I watched two hours of Bravo's 100 Scariest Movie Moments last night too. I have no sense of self-preservation. I really like Shelley Duvall for this movie. The kid is really good too. The score is fucking me up. The directing is amazing, which I know is kind of ridiculous et redundant thing to say about Kubrick, but this is the only movie I've seen of his, and it is really amazing.