counting at war (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
kerpingtack) wrote2008-11-20 01:06 am
kerpingtack) wrote2008-11-20 01:06 am
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they say the nile used to run from east to west
Sometimes I feel like I'm never going to be close to anyone. Maybe it's just this quarter and how far away from everything I feel. I'm listening to We Are the Sleepyheads b/c I didn't listen to it on my birthday and I'm due. I had an intense desire to somehow be able to reach through the whole technical apparatus and reach what makes me feel the way I do when I listen to the song. What is that thing? How can I reach it?
I'm probably never going to be close to anything except my own pettiness and selfishness. And self-loathing! I probably don't deserve the closeness. I'm honestly so tired of being myself. I really do wish I could stop living. If I let myself feel it, it's all unbearable.
The Life Pursuit, especially We Are the Sleepyheads and Act of the Apostle, remind me of senior year of high school.
I'm probably never going to be close to anything except my own pettiness and selfishness. And self-loathing! I probably don't deserve the closeness. I'm honestly so tired of being myself. I really do wish I could stop living. If I let myself feel it, it's all unbearable.
The Life Pursuit, especially We Are the Sleepyheads and Act of the Apostle, remind me of senior year of high school.