kerpingtack | (no subject)

I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me. I haven't been able to sleep more than 5 hours at a time for a week now and my mouth/jaw has hurt all weekend (it was REALLY painful yesterday) and bc I can't get enough rest it's only feeling worse. And I think it's partially caused by sleeping too since I think I'm grinding my teeth into nothingness in my sleep. I thought I was meant to meet w/ my prof before class this morning and I kept waking up at 7, 7:40, 8:10, 8:40, etc. and then my prof didn't even show up. The class is about law & society and the cases we talked about today was one where the guy secretly videotaped his girlfriend and him having sex, gossiped about it w/ his friends, and the tape got out and she was humiliated and her reputation was ruined. The Sup Ct overturned the prev appeals ct decision into his favor bc of the principle of what she tried to argue on (negligent emotional distress, fear of the slippery slope of endless liability etc) so she had to start the case all over even though all the judges unanimously agreed that his conduct was outrageous. And the other one was a murder case where a group of guys killed a transgendered girl out of ~gay panic~. They were charged with murder, they didn't get off or anything, but reading the facts made me feel sick. I didn't even finish reading the first account, there were like three different ones from the different guys involved.

And after class I talked to prof re: missing appt and she didn't even know we were supposed to meet. Even though I clearly remembered her saying Monday at 10, I still was all ~oh okay idk why I thought that I must have remembered it wrong~ and it's resched for Wednesday. I know it's no fault of my own but I still feel like I did something wrong, I didn't do it right, I wasn't clear or firm enough when rescheduling the first time, I'm not memorable, I don't talk enough in class; now I have prepare myself for this office hour thing a third fucking time and I get so fucking nervous talking to people. So anyway going down the stairs I felt like I was going to cry and I had to stop and sit down and think about my entire life lol. Now I have 5 hrs of work where I feel disrespected and socially incompetent lol. okay that's cool

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I hope those things work themselves out. I would send some of my excess sleeping hours to you if it were possible.

Some of the loveliest people end up in our court system... :|

Thanks so much ;; lol I think I made things sound more overwhelming than they were. I was just SO freaking tired earlier and my mouth hurt a lot and idk many emotions produce many words. Now I've eaten lunch and everything, so I feel better lol. But ty again!! ♥

It's so depressing. The other day we were talking about how lawyers used to "win" rape cases (on behalf of the rapists I mean). I forget what the term was, but basically they put the girl on the stand and just ripped her to shreds in front of the jury (what were you wearing, how many drinks, did you know this peron, etc). And it was such an effective way of getting the clients off the charges that lawyers could be... uhh I don't remember the term here either, but basically lawyers could get in trouble if they DIDN'T do this. It's not allowed anymore but wow yeah, really lovely stuff! :(

That's good. :)

Ugh, I've heard about that tactic. I guess some states even had laws that if you were wearing red underwear at the time, you weren't raped because you were asking for it. I wish there was more education out there about not blaming the victim.

omg I've never heard of that before. God why is the world so awful? Victim-blaming makes me so mad that I, like, can't even feel anymore lol. >:(

Reading about those things make me feel so angrily helpless.

I hope you real, substantial rest soon! (My mother made my brother wear teeth guards for a while coz he'd grind his teeth while asleep. Those teeth things that n.a. footballers wear, lol.) Hopefully things become less stressful really soon so you can actually sleep soundly.

I know. >( + ;~; all the way. Usually the class isn't so depressing though (we were reading really dry classical sociological texts before this which were only depressing in how boring they were).

Thank you! I kept waking up last night but still actually got 8 hrs of sleep, which was amazing! I feel so much better. lol omg I'm gonna look into that, for real! ty again ♥

oh wow so it was a super fun day for you ic. :( i hate dealing with those kind of things, they make me hate the world. and super sad. ugh people.

also, i'm sorry! i was going to post your letter today but i started feeling sick again so i basically just went to the pharmacy to buy painkillers and then went home to nap and yell at my immune system. i'll send it tmrw tho!

yeah I felt rly bad. actually I started writing that jjong quasi-meta post bc I wanted to cheer myself up lol oh...

lol what is wrong with us, why are we so sickly?? I hope you're better! or will be better in the very near future! don't feel pressured to mail it lol take your time!! ♥