kerpingtack | things that would be awesome for meee

- if the Detective Inspector Chen/Snake Agent books were set in a multiracial society. nothing wrong with Snake Agent so far, but I was SO SUPER EXCITED to read it and after about ten pages my book boner had died away and I couldn't figure out my sudden apathy until! I realized! that I was expecting Detective Chen to be a DETECTIVE WHO IS ASIAN instead of an ASIAN DETECTIVE. like, you NEVER see Asian main characters to begin with, especially not as Lone Antiheroes... unless the entire world is Asian. not that I'm bitching about books being set in Asia, particularly books that aren't about a white hero in a strange land, saving strange people or whatever; it's just that I was REALLY looking forward to the story in my head. ps, fic has totes spoiled me; I'm all 'I think I've seen this worldbuilding done before, and kind of liked it better then.'
- if there was a long, super-funny SPN RPF fic with a romcom plot where, like, Misha Collins plotz to get Jared and some other person together (I was going to say the obvious Jensen, but then I realized that JENSEN AND DDAANNEELL (I double all the letters to make sure that I'm not misspelling it!!!11) could be in the background, being the wry and dorky straight-men couple. they would go on the cuuuutest dates everrrrrr like minigolfing and like ROLLER DERBYS and to each others apartments with take-out and sweatpants to watch some sort of sporting event on the television box. AGGHH CUUUUUUTE)... that parenthetical aside was too long, I have no idea what I was saying before. ummm Misha Collins, Matchmaker! oh Misha is all earnest shit-stirring mastermind with a COHORT who halps him out and is OBVIOUSLY in looove with him (ROMCOM PLOT ROMCOM PLOT ROMCLOM POT) but perhaps IS PINING because s/he thinks Misha doesn't even know how deeply in loooove he is with Jared. and in the end maybe Jared doesn't end up with anyone but he's strangely okay with that because he gets to just ~be~ or whatever with his dogs and his job and his endless array of ugly shirts. and then Misha is like 'my entire plotzing has been a waste, yet I don't regret any of it.........' and then he realizes that it's because HE HAS FALLEN IN LOVE WITH [INSERT COHORT HERE] and they make out and do the sex, whatever. WHO IS COHORT THOUGH??? alternatively, it could just be hilarious crack about Jared's bewildered suffering as Misha makes his life miserable because Misha's wife (why does crack!fic involve moar reality for me? idk) is working on her disseration or whatever and doesn't have as much time for him, aka cannot police his cheerful shit-stirring ways, and he is bored. I don't know what the point of this whole paragraph was except that MISHA COLLINS IS AMAZING AND IF I WERE A BIZARRE FICTIONAL DERIVATION OF A REAL PERSON* I WOULD BE PINING AFTER HIM LIKE NOBODY'S BUSINESS
*that is... IF I'M NOT ALREADY! noooo that is too Twilight Zone for me
- if Harry Potter was a girl. I don't care about fic; I literally mean if the whole series was about Harryita Potter or something. it would be cool. I think Harry is a GOOD KID!
- ~~if Paul was a girl~~
- OMG SPN RPF BOARDING SCHOOL AU! NO NVM THAT IDEA SUCKS, I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT MISHA COLLINS IN A SKINNY TIE WHICH, CASTIEL, SO WHATEVER
- ummm there was something else but I forgot.

logging context-free quotes
JJB: Yay! I won't have a destiny-filled poo!
me: You mean poo-filled destiny.

JJB: What if there was a guy who spent his whole life yearning and had to stay on the toilet forever?
me: What? Why does he have to be on the toilet?
JJB: Because he's peeing!
me: What is he yearning for? *at JJB's blank look* Yearning doesn't mean peeing!
JJB: Yes it does! Like that word for pee... urine...
me+mom: LOLOLOLOL

things that would be awesome for meee

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