hither and yon

from soompi, posted 091026 by atlantis_x

saved here for my own reference because I don't like how the links for individual posts still save the entire page. NO! posts should be discrete units of information!!

( rdd-era jongyu fan accounts from three events )

EVERYWHERE

Also I have listened to Islands in the Stream like seven times today. BECAUSE I GOTTA CHASE THE FEELING IT GIVES ME. I am no longer capable of listening to any song on the bus, I get soooo many depraved ideas. jongyu duet!!! tiem to dress up!!!! (I can't claim this for my own though; a wondrous being put the thought into my head. And my head has accordingly developed around it.)

I have also watched videos of K. Rogers and Dolly P. singing like angels from das Amerikan South about how they rely on each other, a-haaa, and all this has done is reinforce my spiritual views about life and why Jonghyun needs to wear a sequined cocktail dress cinched at the waist and cut up to ~here.*

omg why am I so anxious and moody lately. I have like 1200 peaks followed by 1200 crashes per day. I hate reading Dworkin. *repeats Islands in the Stream*

*I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING, WHAT WILL ONEW WEAR??? He will wear a tuxedo or a flatteringly cut tracksuit (also sequined). You may have these videos for reference.

LOL I have 498 SHINee fics bookmarked. What on earth! It really only takes one thing for me to save a link. I have to organize them somehow. At the moment when I try to look for a fic I just type in likely keywords and hope my brain is wired the same way as when I first bookmarked it.

My finals are done but I still have papers to write. Dear lord will these trials and tribulations never end??

I swear I'm gonna kill something if they put Jonghyun in another vest. He looks so stupid in these Japan photoshoots. Stupid with occasional moments of COMPLETE FRESH-FACED PERFECTION. Ugh they're all being sooo idiotically cute in these shoots. So many piles!! Piles of boys!! Piles of cute!!

Do they get to dress themselves on Immortal Song 2? Does that mean that glittery tank top Jonghyun wore for his showcase was his? Oh god he is seriously the gift that keeps on giving.

LOL giant 50+ chapter vampire AU series and I'm just going through each part Ctrl+F'ing "jonghyun." I don't have time for vampires okay, I just want to read about him being snarky and/or crying or whatever he's doing in every ten chapters of this thing. From what I can tell though, Jonghyun is too fucking good for anyone else in this story. This is really not that biased of an opinion! Usually he is an intolerable asshole in these sorts of things but here he is literally the best of them all. Onew is such a dick to him in this lol >>:(((( Also my god what is it about Jessica, people will drag her into their fics ALL THE TIME. It's alright here but usually it's terrible and stupid.

I don't think I'm particularly pretentious. I'm sentimental though.

You guys I love Jongho sooo muuuuchhhhh I will legit read anything for them. It's so bad.

I have been trying to quash an immutable tide of panic for the past like three weeks. I am letting go of my GPA; it's already fucked. I just have to pass these classes. I JUST HAVE TO PASS THESE CLASSES. ;~~~; Ugh why am I so fucking stupid. My life is cratered with failures upon failures and I seriously can't do anything right. Oh well. I JUST HAVE TO PASS.

[giant sad bastard paragraph excised]

Ugh lol goddamn my lj has legit been split 50/50 between SHINee spazzing and sad bastard feelings. The two sided coin of my life these days. I mean, I say all this stuff on my own behalf and for my own benefit. But what does it really do? What does anything do. I wish I had more to talk about. I make my life such shit for myself.

I really do feel like there's a lot of love to be had in the world, and love is a choice that people must continually make.* I think that's why I'm so mystified by all the hate and negative energy in fandom and why I react so strongly against it. It just seems like such a contrived, deliberate choice to be hateful and condescending. Maybe also because fandom is supposed to be pure escapism for me. Real life is already terrible, and unavoidably so. Why do people have to invent more reasons to be angry and shitty when they don't have to beeeee. But lol at the same time I know that I choose to become butthurt and offended and worked up over shitty comments instead of ignoring them and getting on with my life. idk why it's so much easier to legitimate negative thoughts/feelings when love is the more difficult choice, and hate is harder to live with.
*placeholder reference: I know it's from ranalore but I don't remember the post. ahhh my creeper anime days were so profitable
edit @ 6:44 am this post! I think it can apply in the general. like specific applications of love can't be chosen (you can't force yourself to like shit you just don't like) but I think love in the abstract is a choice, to say whether you'll be receptive and open or not, to pursue and indulge and enjoy or to dismiss or be ashamed or be in name only. insert scrubs quote on couples who make it because they fight for their love in the face of the same problems as the couples who don't make it. feelings are involuntary, actions are not, etc. why the fuck did I make this sound so dry. and fuck grammar omg

Um this is originally from this entry; I've excised everything under the cut tag into a separate post. Because umm I'm fucking crazy. I just don't like having this huge useless block of text attached to an entry that has a lot of comments? Whatever, I do what I want~

( doprossive whoning )

I was writing a big thing on kpop fic fandom but I got side-tracked by things I would like to read. Why can't I write, I have so many perfect ideas!!!

( disclaimer, i am insane )

I fucking forfeit this day.

edit @ 4:17AM: LOOOOOOOOOOLOLOOLOL HOW DID I LIVE MY LIFE WITHOUT KNOWING ROKKUGO, HOW IS IT SPIRITUALLY POSSIBLE?!!????

I'M NOT EVEN TALKING ABOUT THE VIDEO (THOUGH IT IS LOVELY). THIS SONG IS PURE CRACK. HOW CAN SOMETHING BE SO FUCKING KOREAN OMG IDK IDK

HERE IS SHINEE DORKING OUT HARD TO IT
JONGHYUN IS THE ONE IN THE BLUE SHIRT

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL TROT!!!!!!!!!!1

THIS IS A POST ABOUT KIM JONGHYUN

( cavalcade of pics+gifs+adjectives )

( edit @ 101221 )

The paper is due in three days and I'm not ready!!

What is wrong with my life. I'm so nervous and anxious all the time now. I barely want to speak because I'm afraid of jinxing myself.

Just to ensure that I will never again do anything productive, I am fantasizing about winning the lottery. Oh my god. I get the vapors just thinking about paying back loans and punching all the debt collectors who call the house in the balls. Also I would really like to crush my asshole landlord like a bug. Maybe I could buy wherever he was living and become his asshole landlord and flip out over everything and yell at his mom for no reason too. Ahhh life.

I can't wait to see Inception because then I'll have soooo much stuff to read. That's the way it is. I wonder what new white boy paradise will become the next fandom virus?! Naw, I do want to see Inception for itself, not just its fandom, even though it looks like a sausage fest and everyone is white except for like two dudes. I like shit about dreams and memory, and I like JGL and Ellen Page, and I looooooooove Leo DiCaprio even with his hair shellacked like that.

I'm so dumb and petty. I hate when my sister wears any clothes that I specifically think of as "mine." It's not fair, she already looks good in everything, why does she take my things? Today she wore a shirt that I was saving for some imaginary special occasion and I was dying of jealousy. She just wore it casually too. Urgh. PETTY AND DUMB. When am I going to get over shit like this? Grow the fuck up, self.

Also, why is it so fucking hot. It's five in the morning. UGH.

This is a terrible time in my life right now! We-ell, my whole life is a terrible time in my life, and this counts. !!!

I don't really have much more to say. I feel like shit about everything, I cannot see any kind of future for myself, I kind of hate everyone, etc. How can any of this work when I hate myself? Fundamentally it's not worth it. And yet I don't love anyone else enough to try on their behalf. Tragic tale of assholes who make stupid problems for themselves.

I got a haircut yesterday, still not sure of it. It makes my head look like a wig. A really round wig. But~ I have been told that I am not the best judge of my own appearance, ho ho ho. I want to get it more layered, especially in the front, but that would make it look more like the haircut I've had for the past three years and I said I wanted a change. I look like I belong in a shitty kpop video.

OH how many thoughts I have about shitty kpop videos at this moment in my life! Short version: I drunk the Kool-Aid. I'm a SNSD fan now.

I watched She's Out of My League. It's like an Apatow-lite movie, but that's fine, since actual Apatow strikes me as gross and exclusionary and fucking boring as balls. Here I didn't feel like anyone actually violently hated women! I even liked Stainer, who was the Seth Rogen/Jonah Hill-type. The girls were also cookie cutter: the bad girlfriend, the good girlfriend, and the best friend, but whatever, it wasn't done too terribly and Alice Eve is cute and I think Krysten Ritter is crazy pretty. And for some dumb cheeseball reason, I enjoyed that last act, except for the shitty bad girlfriend v. good girlfriend ~juxtaposition. I'm so sick of that. Ye-heah. Hey if that movie had a different cast, I would've hated it for sure. The plot and all that it implies about Hollywood and romantic comedies and fucking Apatowism is... yeah. Not that the actors save the movie, it's a bit beyond saving and/or they don't tap into my well-developed reservoir of craziness (see: James Marsden in 27 Dresses), but they make it tolerable and amusing enough. Jay Baruchel is weirdly compelling. Maybe this is a holdover from that dragon movie (see: well-developed reservoir of craziness). He plays that stuttering "awkward" nerd-type character, which means I wanted to punch him hard in the face a couple of times, but he's sincere enough that he's not a Nice Guy. Also he's thin as fuck and has nice eyes, which is pretty good for me. I don't have any particular thoughts about Alice Eve, mostly because "Molly" had no particular personality besides being objectively gorgeous and not a bitch, but you could tell that she could be really good in an actual role and I liked her. She looks like Christie Brinkley. Urr durr. I wanted a dumb brainless movie that's better than it looks and wouldn't piss me off too much and that's pretty much what I got. No complaints.

I am awake for no reason!!