hither and yon

My god I am such an attention whore. I've been updating Facebook a lot. And I keep wanting to update my OkCupid profile pictures. Also I am updating my LJ, durr hurr. Oh geez, the OkCupid thing is especially bad. You do not even understand how many times I've almost logged in to upload new pictures.

I'm under provisional admission to UCLA at the moment. I need to finish some incomplete coursework or else my admission will be canceled. I have made almost no progress and it is due next week. It's not even that I just need to finish it; it has to be, like... above a C. It's all shit. Anything that helps me escape is a brilliant idea. Which I suppose is why I keep circling around OkCupid.

I hate the apartment by the way. We've had to pay three months' rent already plus deposit and no one will even move in until September. I've never even seen the damn place. And the landlord is a grade A prick. I kind of hate him a lot.

ANYWAY ONTO MORE IMPORTANT THINGS


enderswrath where you at?? LOL DISCO. LOL RYAN ROSS. *____* BDEN. Oh some things truly never change. This picture literally feels like worlds colliding. On one side, bdon looks like the beautiful fairy of goodwill he is, radiant and obnoxious in the full bloom of youth. On the other side, Ryan Ross looks like a shabby hobo salaryman from some crappy 1980s condo closet. I sure put together a lot of words in that sentence. I like that people are flipping out about it because my heart skipped a beat when I saw it too. Oh shit what if a Spencer and Jon version surfaced?! That would be... no, actually I don't care about that. Goddamnit disco put out some music.

Man, bandom really crashed and burned. To be honest I'm kind of worried about kpop doing the same, though more because the industry itself is so sketchy. Everyone is so fucking overworked, I'm afraid they're all going to keel over. It is seriously ridiculous. There are actually a lot of lawsuits going around right now from band members suing their companies for unfair contract terms. Plus, there are just way too many groups debuting. It's just too much money-grubbing going at too fast a pace. I'm worried for SNSD. :d

I'm also worried that Parks & Recreation will be canceled. It's only getting a half season or some shit. WHY. WHHHHYYYY. It cannot be canceled. CANNOT. I love it so much!! It has to make it to five seasons, at least!! My heart, it is clinging. :(

THINGS I LOVE: PEOPLE OUTSIDE OF ANIME BEING CALLED TSUNDERE
Like John Watson of Sherlock Holmes!! LOOOOOOLZ. And Jessica from SNSD!!! Though I don't think that quite fits. LOLZ WHATEVER, I LOVE IRL TSUNDERES

What the hell is Liz Phair up to these days? I listened to Exile in Guyville all the way through today, which is pretty much the only way I can listen to it. That album and whitechocolatespaceegg are both paced so well. It's so confident and assured.

I always talk about this but it's because I really am amazed each time: music can make you remember EVERYTHING. I remember how I first heard of Liz Phair (VH1 music videos late at night in a hotel room, Why Can't I?), what made me decide to buy the CD (looking her up online and reading the lyrics to Divorce Song), where I was when I first listened to it (in the car on the way to dinner with my grandmother), my first reaction ('her voice is so much deeper than in her other song!'), all of that. I really miss discovering music that I love like that. Everything is digital and low-risk now, which I'm not complaining about because of my lack of monies and such, but the intangibility does kind of dilute things. Scrolling through a tracklist doesn't feel the same as skipping through a CD. Also I hate it when music blogs put pictures of the band by the downloads. Jesus, seriously??? It's like when they put a picture of the author next to the article. What is the point of that?

escape escape escape!

HOLY FUCKING SHIT WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS "MY GUEST" THING

WTFFFFFFFFFFF LIVEJOURNAL, PUT THAT AWAY

*BREATHES INTO PAPER BAG*

I am not even kidding, my lurking is VERY important to me. I will one day emerge from my hermitdom to actually comment on things but I am not ready for that day. I refuse to let some "My Guest" feature push me around!! >:o

Let's talk disco:

I am not one of those real good-natured fans who still loves and supports everyone. I am Team Brendon & Spencer because I love them both and I've loved the original Panique! a la discotheque, and I am not Team Ryan and Jon because I hate hipsters. And even if Ryan Ross is not a hipster down to his very soul (pfffft), he still WANTS to be one and is going around acquiring all the necessary trappings. No. NO. I refuse!!! Fuck that noise.

I quite hope that disco will indeed be able to pull off the best parts of Fever and Pretty. Odd. because that would seriously be DAMN AWESOME. I trust bdonatron and Spencer Smith so I just hope it all works out for them.

The Young Veins is not as terrible as I would have liked (ahaha yeah IT'S GOING TO BE LIKE THAT. okay I don't want them to not succeed, I just don't want to be a part of it. I don't want to like them! Ryan Ross is such a fuckface right now!) but I'm glad that it left me feeling pretty cold. It definitely sounds like it's from the 60s/70s, so... props. It sounds so much like that though, that it's not particularly fresh. It feels derivative. Pretty. Odd. (and It's Almost Halloween, why not) was also definitely influenced by 60s poprocketc but it didn't feel stale or flimsy or pointless. I seriously think it's because of Brendon's voice. He doesn't sound like anyone else singing right now. It gives everything a different texture. I don't like New Perspective all that much either, but it doesn't sound lifted straight from something else. If I was kinder and more inclined to Ryan and Jon: Adventures in Hipster-bros, I would say that it was kinda cute. Like, there's a part in the verses that sounds exactly like Blue Oyster Cult's Godzilla. That's cute! I like the Blue Oyster Cult!

I'm weirdly glad about the Ian Crawford news. I only say 'weirdly' because I didn't think I had any opinions about the Cab whatsoever. But I do? I knew that that dude was fucking good though.

God I don't like that they split up! It is skeevy as hell. Who the fuck splits up like two seconds before a tour? That's fucked. Ryan Ross, you better fix this. It seems strained from where ~we're sitting.

I read the best story I'll probably read all year, a bandom fic called Sweet Science. It's so good. You don't need to know anything about bandom; first, it's an AU, and second, it's so good that it doesn't even matter. It's everything about how hard life is and how sad and how good and how sweet it is, how the people around you hold you up just by the virtue of who they are and how much you love that. It was such a good thing to read at this moment of my life.

The wireless in my room worked for like two hours before fucking out again. I'm in the Doe Library (I know of this from my work at ILL. You guys print on thin grey paper and blue ink! Your barcodes don't scan!!). It's a lot nicer looking overall than YRL. PROPS BURK BURK GURHHHHHRHRHH

I've made a huge mistake. /GOB This Berkeley thing was a mistake. I can't remember why I was looking forward to this. Like... what did I think would happen? Why did I think this was a good idea? I feel like a needy, crazy, pathetic nuisance. Yeah, just what I wanted, an extra month and a half of unnecessary bullshit. This was fucking stupid of me. It's ruined everything. I have to have things to daydream about and never fulfill them because it's fucking unrealistic and it's not going to happen. Why do I expect this out of things? Out of people? You could've seen this coming a mile away, self, you were just too desperate to acknowledge it. Yeah.

Probably every year since 2006 I've lost something or another. I've been slowly losing my ability to feel safe, anyway. Oh the dramatics! I wish knowing something helped you deal with it. If I start to think about anything in my life for too long I want to beat my head in with a shovel. Soooo.

This is the first band break-up I've ever been through! Well I was a fan when the Pipettes broke up but they weren't huge for me. Oh disco. I'm glad it was you, you bring just enough lulz to soothe the pain~. Ahahah oh shit I probably would've killed myself if I was around when the Beatles broke up. PUBLIC GRIEVING IS ATTRACTIVE! ... if Belle and Sebastian break up, I will be traumatized for life. No, seriously. :|

I'm glad that Spencer stayed with bden. I think they'll be good together. OMG this shit is so crazy, wtf. I'm kind of seriously done with Ryan Ross. I didn't know I cared so much about all the things he chooses to be, but I do! If he wants to be a hipster, he can jump off my dick and be the dirty cokey hipster he wants to be. That's just FINE. WHATEVER! UGH HIPSTERS.

I really really like McCartney. Unenlightening thoughts: I think it's really obvious that Paul LOVES music, and loves it in a pure kind of way. It's not about the trappings for him and it's not a vehicle for something else; music is important because it's music. Paul's lyrics get criticized as trite and inane, and I admit, sometimes I do think, "that mofo didn't even try with this song," but that case isn't the norm. I like whimsy and wordplay, and P.McC has got that in spades. I like when you can tell that he's gotten wrapped up with the SOUND of the words themselves and the voice becomes another layer of music and another instrument for him to use. I'm thinking of the end of Hey Jude and moar especially, the end of Long-Haired Lady. Ohhhhhh looooooove is looooooooooooooooooooong, loooooove is looooooooooooooooooooong, loooove is loooooooo-ooooooooooooo-oooooooooong x10000. But to be fair, I also love it when it's obvious that he never got around to finishing the lyrics and just ba-ba-bas his way through a verse. Or half a song. I LU PAWWWWWL.

LOL I CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE IT

RYAN ROSS YOU FUCKING DOUCHEBAG!! OMG LOL BUT D: BUT LOL????? I'M SO CONFUSED

WHY DID THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN? OMG JON AND RYAN ARE SUCH COCKS!! AHAHAH THEY JUST LEFT

I AM THINKING OF ALL THE GSF FICS AND LOLING BUT ALSO D:ING AND OMG LOL D: LOL!!!

WELL IT'S OKAY BDEN AND SPENCER WERE MY FAVORITES AND ZACK IS STICKING WITH THEM AND HE IS LIKE THE COOLEST PERSON IN BANDOM BESIDES LIKE ALEX SUAREZ AND RYLAND AND BUTCHER AND BRIAN SCHECTER (SP???) AND MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE (I'M SRS!!)

LOL RYAN ROSS MADE THE BAND

AND THEN HE LEFT IT

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAAAAAAA OMMMMMMMG RYAN ROSS, RYAN ROSS!!!!!!!

I CANNOT THINK OF RYAN ROSS AS A HUMAN BEING ANYMORE (NOT THAT I EVER DID), ESPECIALLY SINCE HE BROKED KELTIE'S HEART. HE IS JUST A LULZ ROBOT. LULLLLLLLLLZZZZZZZZZZZ

PANIC! AT: JON AND RYAN ARE LOLTARDED DICKBAGS.
THE DISCO: SPENCER AND BDEN ARE THE BEST EVER
OKAY I THINK I CAN LIVE WITH THIS

Everything is just for my personal year in music. I don't really keep up to speed with actual current music. Pretty much only things from 2008 I listened to was the disco, Fleet Foxes' White Winter Hymnal, 3 MGMT songs, and Taylor Swift. No particular order!

Top 10 6 Albums
Guided By Voices - Under the Bushes, Under the Stars
    psst! Ghosts of a Different Dream
The Langley Schools Music Project - Innocence and Despair
    psst! Rhiannon
Panic at the Disco - Pretty. Odd.
    psst! She's A Handsome Woman
Life Without Buildings - Any Other City
    psst! Let's Get Out
Tegan and Sara - The Con
    psst! Like O, Like H
The Pipettes - We Are the Pipettes
    psst! Why Did You Stay?

I'd like to sincerely thank the disco for helping me not be embarrassed to like what I like. I'm not completely fearless about it, I am still all "whatever will people think!" sometimes, but that is because I am freakishly insecure and dependent on validation from other people, not because of any quel horreur nature of the disco. And the disco has seriously brought me so much love and joy and insanity, it feels wrong to be ashamed of it. (ALSO BDEN URIE IS A RADIANT STAR IN THE CONSTELLATION OF MY UNIVERSE.)

Wiff this, I realized that I was kind of a indie hipster snob about music in that I was hung up about what ~kind~ of person listens to what ~kind~ of music. I thought I had mostly let go of this but it turns out, not so much! I am still resisting actually LIKING Fall Out Boy and My Chemical Romance's music, but I kind of like both of their most recent stuff. They are the Borg, resistance is futile, etc. There are worse things to be than a Fall Out Boy fan. Hahaha that's so insulting, why am I being such a douchebag? I know I would be hella butthurt if I say someone say "I'm sure that liking the disco is not the complete end of the world" or whatever. Oh I don't know. I think I have to give up the idea of an objective good and an objective bad altogether. Why do I still have this idea anyway?? This entry is just BLAH BLAH BLAH I'M DUMB AS ROCKS. Well this whole lj is, but this post in particular.

CHECKING INTO CASH

I AM ALL A-FLUTTER AND SPARKY-EYE'D

THERE IS TOO MUCH DISCO GOODNESS HAPPENING LATELY, MY BRAINS! MY BRAINS! TOO MUCH SOY AND TOO MUCH JOY!! ALL THE BDEN GLASSES AND THE AUSTRALIA CONCERT RECAPS AND DOODLE PHOTOS AND FAN PHOTOS AND BDEN'S INEPT SELF-HAIRCUT AND ACOUSTIC NORTHERN DOWNPOUR AND OPERATIC SKELETONS AND (FT. BRENDON URIE)S AND NORWAY BLOGGER VIDEOS AND EVERYONE LOOKING SO GOOD IN ASIA AND BIRTHDAYS!!!!

OUTTAKES FROM DISCO DUNE BUGGY PHOTOSHOOT CONTINUING TO PROVE THAT DISCO DUNE BUGGY PHOTOSHOOT IS THE BEST PHOTOSHOOT EVER

HOW DO I MAKE A PICTORAL EXAMPLE OF MY EYES BEING HAPPY FACES SWIRLING AROUND

:D__:D ?????

WHAT IS WITH ALL THIS HAULING ABOUT OF BDEN ALL OF A SUDDEN

I WANT IN

OKAY AND ALSO I WENT A-TRAVELLING ACROSS ALL THE INTERNETS YESTERDAY AND GOT A BUNCH OF NEW MUSIC THAT I LOVE VERY MUCHLY INCLUDING STUFF BY BEN FOLDS AND LIZ PHAIR AND IT JUST REMINDED ME OF HOW MUCH I LOVE BFOLDS AND LPHAIR RESPECTIVELY EVEN IF THEY ARE BOTH PHONING IT IN LATELY, ESPECIALLY LPHAIR (ELF HAIR?!)

LIIIIIZ PHAIRRR I LOVE YOU SO MUCH PLEASE BARTER YOUR SOUL BACK, I MISS YOUR MUSICK

ALSO I AM LOOKING FOR WILD CHERRY'S PLAY THAT FUNKY MUSIC (WHITE BOY) FOR IMPORTANT SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS

I HAVE 11 TABS OPEN RIGHT NOW

EDIT 1 OUT OF 19MILLION::
WHERE THE FUCK IS THE VIDEO FOR THE DUNE BUGGY PHOTOSHOOT

WHERE GODDAMNIT WHERE

AM I GOING TO HAVE TO JOIN FULLSIZEPATD NOW? I THINK THE ANSWER IS YES

SPIRALLING S P I R A L L I N G   S     P     I     R     A     L     L     I     N     G     ~

::ENDE

EDIT 2 OUT OF 19MILLION::

SHIT I FORGOT WHAT I WANTED TO SAY

::ENDE

CHECK INTO CASH

Alyssa: *reading David & Bathsheba wiki* Wait, listen to this: "The king, while walking on the roof of his house, saw Bathsheba, who was the wife of Uriah the Hittite, taking a bath. He immediately desired her." Is that why her name is Bathsheba?
Alyssa: What if she was eating carrots when he saw her? "Oh my beautiful Carrotsheba."
Me: *DIES*

I'm eating potatoes!

We rewatched les Incroyables today and ohhh mannnn it reminded me of how freaking cool it would be to work at Pixar. Pixar is truly professionally amazing.

Jenna Fischer is so fucking cute. Like every once in a while when I want to feel uplifted and sunny I search for "jenna fischer interview" on youtube and watch the whole talk show circuit thing. If I was a late night host, I would be hella excited whenever JFisch was scheduled, because she is SO FUCKING CUTE and sweet and genuine and aughhhh I love her. And her hair is really pretty!111 I am an intellectual. She is, no contest, my favorite Office cast member.

I keep having gymnastics-related dreams. I took a nap today and had my fourth one. Olympics, eating my brain. I guess it was balanced out by the mobster/TDK portion of the dream. Very violent. Wrrrrrrrrry, brain, wrrrry??

I thought my ~*disco*~ obsession was fading. Actually the DISCO thing might be on the decline but I don't think I'll ever be over bden. I dl'd a song that had (feat. Brendon Urie) tacked onto the end of it. I listened to it straight through twice, and uhhh to bden's part and ONLY bden's part about... seven times. I KNOW WHAT I LIKE. Plus he continues to wear glasses and be photographed while doing so. I can't. I mean. GLASSES.

So pretty much every time I think "well I'm cooling off the disco!" I flip my shit over something bden-related and am reminded that I am still ~over the moon~ about le discotheque. Private post made 25 July 2008 @ 12:39 am:

I thought, my disco thing is dying off, I'm not sooooo in love with them anymore. In fact I think my love is getting to be sane and manageable.

But I only thought that because I could not have predicted the THRILL OF PURE JOY that would shoot!!! through me when I saw BDEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNN in the last like 10 seconds of the "Tour Life with Greta" video on the Honda Civic Tour video site. My heartrate spiked to the top like those bar things on winamp when you play a loud song. What. ANYWAY I MIGHT HAVE WATCHED THOSE TEN SECONDS LIKE UMMMM FOUR TIMES IN A ROW. BUT YOU CAN'T PROVE ANYTHING. OMFGGG BDENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN YOU!!! IT'S YOU!! THIS WHOLE THING!!!!!!

IT'S SO TRUE. IT IS HIM!!! EVERYTHING!! IT'S HIM!!!

Dude you can TOTALLY see straight down my dress in those pictures tagged of me on facebook, from the wedding. Great! I sware I didn't know how urrrm revealing that dress was. Like I knew it was too big on me but I didn't think I would FLASH everyone. Learn something new everyday. *headdesk*

Speaking of flashing, relivingstars, send meee those gd pixx. Not the satellite photos of the moon, the other ones.