kerpingtack: corgis on the beach where the corgis are free (Default)
YOU HAVE LOST ALL THE GOODWILL YOUR DAFT PUNK AND JOURNEY HAS EARNED YOU

DEAR FUCKHEAD WITH THE WHISTLE

SHUT THE FUCK UP OR I WILL SHUT YOU UP FOR YOU

YOU OBVIOUSLY LIKE THAT WHISTLE SO I WILL SHOVE THAT FUCKING THING DOWN YOUR THROAT SO FAR IT WILL BE IN YOUR FUCKING BALL SAC

OH MY FUCKING GOD WHY IS HE NOT DEAD YET

WHY HAS SOMEONE NOT STRANGLED HIM

SHUT UP YOU FUCKHEAD SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

CORDIALLY
THE PERSON WHO WILL PUNCH YOUR FUCKING FACE OFF IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP
kerpingtack: corgis on the beach where the corgis are free (call it freedom in an old age)
Some motherfucker is tapping their pencil/fingers/slab of cement/stalactited peen on the desk somewhere in this library. WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS? WHY?? Everyone is already stressed out and crammed in here in these stupid filmsy desks like... things that are stressed out and crammed in, and now this chowderhead is THOCKTHOCKTHOCKTHOCKing the night away.

THOCK THOCK THOCKTHOCKTHOCK
THOCK
THOCK









THOCKTHOCKTHOCKTHOCKTHOCK

WHY?? Is it... because this person is an inconsiderate asshole? Surely not! Listen Anonymous Tapper, if Anonymous Tapping is the way you deal with stress, that's fine, but know that you have just exponentially increased your chances of being punched in the neck with a brick.
kerpingtack: corgis on the beach where the corgis are free (Default)
*Please bring the item# to claim the item Monday to Friday from 9:00AM -
5:00PM.

Your Bruin ID [Item# x] was found at the UCLA College Library on 10/14/2008. It is being held at our Circulation Desk on the second floor of the College Library for you to pick up. It will be kept for 90 days before we send it over to UCPD.

Thank you.

You GODDAMN ASSHOLES, I asked twice if it was there and said where it might be AND YOU GUYS FUCKING FOUND IT THE DAY IT GOT LOST, THE 14TH OMFG, W T F. "IF WE DIDN'T EMAIL YOU, WE DON'T HAVE IT HURR HURR HURR." WHAT THE JESUS IS THAT BULLSHIT!!!! OMG ANYWAY I figured that since it had already been a week and that you guys seemed like disinterested shitheads, it was NEVER going to get found so I just got the fucking card replaced for $22 on Monday, and NOW you email me? NOW?? YOU COULDN'T HAVE EMAILED ME EARLIER?? AND YOU COULDN'T EVEN HAVE WAITED ~ANOTHER~ WEEK TO GET OFF YOUR DUMB ASS AND EMAIL???? No! It's not even 24 hours since I replaced the card, and just THEN you email. ARG. Your establishment is akin to dragging around a wagon full of cocks, kind sirs and madams, and I hope you all get trench foot on your face.

... OMGGGGG I am just so irrationally angry about the timing of this email!!1111 These dickfucking uniball wangatons, goddamn I'm mad. Just fuck them omg. I KNOW THEY DIDN'T REALLY DO ANYTHING WRONG, STFU LET ME PROJECT MY FRUSTRATIONS AT THOSE SHITBUCKET JACKHOLES OMGGGGGGGG SUCK MY DICK IN HELL YOU FUG LITTLE FUCKERS OMMMMMGGGGGG I AM GETTING ANGRIER EVERY SECOND ARGHHHHHH THAT WAS $22 AND UGH I'M SO PISSED OFF, THEY FUCKING FOUND IT THE DAY I LOST IT AND I WENT THERE TWICE AND ASKED AND THEY WERE LIKE "WE DON'T HAVE IT, NOW GTFO" AND OMFGGGGGGG I WANT TO SLAP THEM ALL IN THE FACE WITH A BASEBALL BAT
kerpingtack: corgis on the beach where the corgis are free (call it freedom in an old age)
"Who do you think won the VP debate?" HOW IS THIS EVEN A QUESTION?? Actually I can see where people might get confused, since Palin was doing a completely different event than Biden was. Biden was at a debate, answering questions, being informative, and trying to prove his qualifications to be vice president of the fucking country. Palin was at a PR meeting, trying not to fuck up, repeating catch-phrases, and bein' folksy. "Oh Palin won, because she showed so much personality and was so charming and she didn't choke!" IS THAT THE CRITERIA FOR WINNING A FUCKING DEBATE??? SERIOUSLY. Okay, if you actually LISTENED to what she said, not how she looked while saying it, not how she said it, she is a fucking joke. It's so insulting. It's like George Bush all over again, only with bangs and more smiley. Smiley bang'd George Bush and an old man. THIS IS THE WORST EVER. Every time she said "in a McCain-Palin administration" I got scared. I will die if the terms President McCain and Vice President Palin get introduced into history. I won't be surprised at such a death (lol America, like we aren't going to fuck this up) but I will die nonetheless. UGH REPUBLICANS.
kerpingtack: corgis on the beach where the corgis are free (Default)
I get an urge fierce and overwhelming to punch music reviewers in the balls when they put down bden's voice or when they go out of their way to insult the disco. You know, the "I never thought I'd say this about any act affiliated with Panic at the Disco, but..." schtick. Yes, we get it, you have IMPECCABLE, IMMACULATE, hipster good taste, bravo. When you're done sucking your own dick, stand still for a second so I can slap you across the face with a dining table. I don't get how this is relevant to, oh, THE BAND YOU ARE REVIEWING. Props for talking about a band by... degrading another band. I know I do this a lot too but I'm trying to stop because backhanded compliments are shitty and annoying and ineffective at doing anything except pointing out what an insufferable bitch you are. Like isn't it better just to talk about a band on their own terms? Unless a specific comparison is inevitable, but just being label-mates doesn't cut it for me. As for the bden thing, I know I am a crazy stalker, but I swear to god and country that most reviewers say disparaging things about him just because it's Panic at the Disco, and god forbid they fail to emphasize how EMO his voice is. And I guess by emo they mean nasal and whiny, but a) why don't they SAY nasal and whiny instead of falling back on vague undefined lazy terms, and b) I seriously objectively don't think that bden's voice is nasal or whiny?? Maybe from the first CD, but lately his voice has been really smooth. You can give him technical proficiency, at the least. They write bden off so quickly all the time. >:(( Signed, Too Invested in the Disco.

(Somewhat relatedly, I am also super sick of people describing bands by combining other bands. "They sound like the bastard lovechild of Usher and Black Sabbath, if said bastard lovechild had eloped wtih a Arcade Fire/Toby Keith hermaphrodite and had a drunken orgy with the Jonas Brothers on a riverboat!!" WOW GREAT I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND WHAT THIS MUSIC SOUNDS LIKE NOW.)

But, to be fair, music reviewers are almost uniformly smug douchebags so even if it was a completely disco-free article, there is a 99.999% chance that I would want to knee them in the face for something.
kerpingtack: corgis on the beach where the corgis are free (Default)

Some bitch this morning left the water on while she carefully massaged every particle of her stupid soap into every pore of her stupid face. RARRRGGHHHH.

Fact: the sinks on my floor are arranged onto counters; they aren't free-standing basins.
Problem: PEOPLE ARE DISGUSTING. How are the counters wet ALL THE TIME? WHAT DO PEOPLE DO TO IT? What are people putting on it to make it so wet? Disgusting: hair in the sink. Most disgusting: hair floating in puddles on the wet ALL THE TIME counters.

Fact: you should not be allowed to shower if you cannot TURN OFF THE WATER. SO MUCH DRIPPING, ALL THE TIME. EVERYTHING DISGUSTING ALL THE TIME.

I have to get back into my note-taking groove. Things were moving fast this morning in lecture! I feel a bit of a fool now because during Thursday's lecture, the prof was like "Logic is one of those subjects where a lot of people will find easy as pie and a lot of people will struggle enormously wif" and I was like PAH! I am in the first category of people, as I like pie and can do those logic puzzles within like... three days. That's ~talent~. But as it turns out I think I might be in the second category! I was just realizing I should be going "wait... what?" as everyone else was nodding like bobbleheads. Genius bobbleheads. Suzie is taller than Jane but shorter than the child wearing the brown shirt. The boy living in the red house is neither the oldest nor the youngest!!!!

I read this sort of upsetting article in the Daily Bruin (which, BTW, is okay what? kind of newspaper is that? are they serious about some of those articles?) about this 85-year old man who had been found to be a former Nazi guard. (It's this story.) He's been living in the US since 1955 with his wife and federal authorities have begun deportation proceedings. On the one hand, um, Nazis. And principles, and symbols, and that deep scar on humanity. But on the other... he's really old y'all, it seems a little much somehow. I guess, since they're not pressing criminal charges, just deporting him, it makes sadsense. The article was sympathetic to him too, and threw in random fax like how he's hard of hearing and has heart problems and has to use a walker. I will ruminate upon this longarr.

I was at one of the main student hubs, waiting for the person selling the Women's Studies textbook, and thus got the joy of hearing a local/student band (?) play. They were REALLY loud and might as well been Taking Back Sunday, they sounded exaaaactly like them, except with a less nasal singer. They were pretty amusing though. (I couldn't tell who was talking when, they all sounded the same pretty much. Whatevs.)

Guy 1: We're playing this for the blood drive... they were nice enough to have us, um...
Guy Who I Suspect Was the Singer: Yeah, so go donate blood! Rock out with your blood out!!
(That would've been heee enough, but not much later!)
Guy Who Enjoys Cramming His Foot Inside His Mouf and May or May Not Have Been Suspected Singer: At least we're getting paid for this... it's not like we necessarily want to be here...
Diplomatic Guy: *quietly* Uh, yeah we do.

Singer (right after finishing a song): I liked that part in the first chorus when everbody came in and we sounded like Britney Spears... except not so *unintelligble noise*. That was awesome...
*other members of the band, all at once*
Guy 1: I wasn't singing...
Guy 2: No.
Guy 3: What the hell are you talking about?!

Singer: So, we are no longer the Emo Vaginas... we're back to being the [whatever the band name is, it had the word "Halo" in it I think]. Unless you don't like us. Then we're... Fall Out Boy.
Guy 1: We could be Fall Out Boy.
Singer: Yeah, I could be Fall Out Boy... *disdainfully* If I gained, like, 150 pounds.

Guy 1: If you don't think we suck that bad, come pick up a CD. It's free!
Guy 2: Yeah, and it's pretty. So even if you think we do suck, you can at least have a cool coaster.
Guy 1: Or a frisbee!

I have to admit, they had won me over by this point. They weren't playing to many people and they weren't that brain-gougingly terrible, considering who they sounded like. They weren't inept with their instruments at least. I thought about picking up a CD but. Okay I know I just said that they weren't so bad, but for real, they were giving me a monstrous headache and I couldn't freaking take it anymore, I HAD TO LEAVE THAT AREA ENTIRELY. I was late meeting my textbook person but it was worth saving my brains.

Scene: A little over an hour ago, waiting 4000000 hours for my sammich to be made at Bruin Cafe.
Me: *sucking vacantly at my drink, delirious from hunger and fatigue* OH GINGER ALE!!! You make me feel ALIVE. I love you soooooo much ginger ale, you are always sooooo gooooooood.
Seriously, I thought about how good ginger ale was for a solid minute. I was spacing out so hard. In fact I was l     i     k      e                      t                           h                         i                              s                            ~            

kerpingtack: corgis on the beach where the corgis are free (this is a bad day)
Every once and a while I get a nice little surprise in the snail-mailbox, and this most recent surprise is Seabear's effervescent debut album entitled The Ghost That Carried Us Away, a collection of 12 light, pretty, lift-your-head-up songs that are guaranteed to brighten even the darkest shades of blue. Sounding like a less pompous Bell & Sebastian or a more eccentric Pelle Carlberg, Seabear weave nearly unforgettable melodies with never-too-serious lyrics to create tunes that occasionally approach breathtaking moments of grandeur...something that really needs to be heard to be believed.

This dicksmack did not just, did he? Oh yes friends, I think he did. Well, we see how this goes right? H8. BELITTLEMENT. NEVERENDING RANCOR. NO RESPECT. We see that he a) spelled Belle and Sebastian wrong; b) had the nervey nerve to call someone ELSE pompous, uh, igif, pull your head out of your ass; c) has as usual oversold like an overselling thing.

One day I will go crusading across the universe punching people in the face. The thing that pisses me off about these kinds of statements are that they are SO OBVIOUSLY untrue. You could tell that B&S are some of the least contrived/twee/pompous/obnoxious people in the music scene EVER within two lines of an interview or five minutes on their website. OR YOU KNOW, BY LISTENING TO THEIR MUSIC. It just shows that these fuckfaced vomitbags could not be bothered to do any research and are going around being fuckfaced and vomitbaggy based on some vague, random ass conception. I mean, he spelled the fucking name wrong! I hope his stomach gets eaten by fire ants. Fucking prick.

The lesson here is, DON'T MESS WITH CERTAIN THINGS IN FRONT OF ME.

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