YES, THIS IS THE REALITY I WANTED

[kerpingtack]

THIS IS A POST ABOUT KIM JONGHYUN


HIM =

ALSO HIM =

ALSO HIM =

YEAH IT'S KIND OF LIKE THAT

This post has no internal logic whatsoever. I don't even know what it's for. It is just me shouting all the reasons I love Jonghyun. Oh god I love him so much. It is ridiculous. HE IS RIDICULOUS. *_______*

Jonghyun is the main vocalist of SHINee, a five-member boy band who debuted in 2008. SHINee is a "contemporary" group, whatever that's supposed to mean. Uh, they sing a lot of R&B and they dress well? Their music is not quite my thing, but Lucifer is kickass and they're undeniably talented and anyway I have brainwashed myself into loving everything. They are impressive! If I was thirteen, without the hang-ups I had when I was actually thirteen, I would be desperately in love. As it is, I am just a pervert fan.

He is the second oldest, the shortest, and the most built member of the group. He's known for his ~powerful vocals~ and for the fact that he looks like a dinosaur. (I don't know how people decided this, but IT'S SO TRUE. WHY. I DON'T KNOW.) Popular opinion sees him as a cocky, dim douchebag. None of those descriptors are quite wrong, but he is so much more and better and more wonderful and weirder and nicer and brighter and best best best than that.

I think the best place to start with him is his honestly tremendous talent and how deeply he loves music. It's what made me a crazed balls-to-wall stan in the first place. Jonghyun is really filled with this complete love for music, without pretense or show. He's very dedicated to it. He went to an arts high school, he played bass in a punk band in middle/high school (DYING OMG), he's learning how to play piano, he's been taking composition and songwriting classes for a while now, his ultimate goal is to become a songwriter/music composer, and so forth. So far he's written the lyrics for three of their songs and he's quite proud of it (Juliette, Up & Down, and Obsession). He has a focus about it that I don't see in other idols in kpop.

When you read interviews or hear him talk about music you can see how deeply he thinks about it, but you can also tell just from the way he sings. Like, I love how the difference in his voice in Ring Ding Dong as compared to Love Like Oxygen (lol everyone makes fun of it, poor baby) as compared to Lucifer, etc. is very much a stylistic choice. Plus he has the skills to back that shit up. His voice is strong as hell, and he has phenomenonal control over it. His range is also pretty ace. And he looks SO it when he's singing. His body physically cannot contain his focus. I LOVE HIM.
[edit @ 111210: nothing better to do than edit posts from a year ago~ umm Jonghyun has notable problems controlling his voice. I was blinded by love at the time of writing this. This edit is just to acknowledge that bitch could use some serious re-training but I don't care; he's one of my favorite singers across all space and time.]

Hyeya (Y Si Fuera Ella) (live solo. these kinds of assholes are making me like ballads. 1:20 onward is just non-stop *_________* god, I think he was barely eighteen here.)
Lucifer (live) (even though Jonghyun sounds strained at parts of this performance, I will never stop being amazed by him at 2:45 - 2:57. that note seems to go on forever. also SHINee is seriously amazing. how the fuck are they so TOGETHER and sound so strong? the song and choreography are hard as fuck. also also Taemin is such a beautiful fairy elf queen here.)
Wrongly Given Love (duet with Zhang Li Yin before SHINee debuted. that means he was only SEVENTEEN here agghh)
Juliette (live acoustic) + Ring Ding Dong (remix) (I love the scatting/"doot doot doot"s at the end. LOOOL there are so many things to love about Ring Ding Dong, especially in a weird Eurodance form, and I love all of them. it is just so fucking ridiculous. and Jonghyun rocks those performances so hard. that slick over-the-top swagger is perfect for the song. plus, mouth wipe.)
Romeo+Juliette (I love his voice here)
compilation of live performances (lol I love the girl at 0:10 who's staring at him like she's been hit by a brick. GURL I KNOW HOW U FEEL. my favorite part is at 2:21. ROCK THAT SHIT)

Jonghyun is a really endearing mix of openness and insecurity and five thousand other things. He's loud and blustery and cocky, but he's also very caring and observant and affectionate, but he's also TOTALLY spazzy and dorky and spacey. <33___<33 I can see how people get the impression that he's a smug douchebag, but so much of it is... not exactly pretense, but an attempt to live up to the attention? Also he's just so easy-going and good-natured and it takes like half a second to tell that he doesn't take himself seriously. He enjoys attention but he also gets nervous when he recieves it and he feels like he has to prove himself in some way? I feel like it's really obvious that he doesn't know what to do with himself sometimes. Like that Hello Baby clip where a bunch of fangirls recognize him and he laughs all nervously and like announces, "I AM SHINEE'S JONGHYUN" and then goes, "Seriously, why am I like this?" Pleased and embarrassed and dealing with it through bravado~~

Despite his insecurities, Jonghyun is good at owning his shit. He knows that his voice is good, but he also knows that there's still a long way he can go, and a long way he wants to go. (He really pushes his voice when he shouldn't sometimes. Babe, it's okay to relax. :(( ) My bullshit meta also leads me to conclude that his musical aspirations and confidence trumps all his other insecurities, and that is why his charisma on-stage can be off the fucking charts. And that fucker knows he's good-looking. He plays it up to rile the fans for sure (LOL YOU DOUCHEBAG) and he takes pride in his appearance (he was all proud of his back for the Lucifer promotions for example) but I think that's different from being egotistical. I think it's as he says; he's ~satisfied with his looks as an idol~.
(*STANNING* And how the fuck can anyone blame him. He is SUCH good singer and his face, omg, his faaaaace. PERFECT.)

So yeah, off stage/on camera, a lot of his super-confident stage character falls away. When it's just the band in an interview or whatever, he's very talkative and just kind of rambles on forever. When he's on a variety show with a lot of other people, he pretty much stays quiet and retreats into the background. He's said that he feels pressured to be entertaining and it's uncomfy for him; he just wants to ~be himself~. Either way he's self-conscious, laughs nervously a lot and is always yelling commenting on his own nervousness.

Off script altogether (ie in stalker fan cams), he's spacey and dorky and hyper and spazzy and super super sweet. LOVE HIM. JUST SO MUCH LOVE.
[I meant to link to this video where he and Minho Taemin are fussing over Onew's mike backstage but it was removed. ;____;]

The thing about Jonghyun is that even though he's so ~layered~ he doesn't come off as difficult or unknowable. He's just so OPEN. He's not tactless, but he speaks very directly. He really can't hide what he's feeling. His fake smiles look like they've been plastered on with spackling glue. When's he's not ~feeling it~ on-stage, it shows (though he always brings it when he's in the center). When he's happy, he, like, RADIATES it. A few people have mentioned how he has a ~manly charm that's not like an idol's~ and I agree. He stands out, not so much because he's so ~masculine, but because of this honest and open way he holds himself. I DON'T KNOW. WHATEVER. I CAN SAY THESE THINGS IF I WANT. It is all deeply compelling to me sexually.

And Jonghyun is really caring and affectionate. He's always complimenting the other members or supporting/defending them or giving them the spotlight, especially in the early days. I mean, yeah he talks a lot (like, neverending stream of commentary on everything lol (I LOVE HIM ;___;)) but at least in the early days, it's clear he's doing it to fill up the silence because the others feel too awkward to do it and uhh he feels awkward with silence. Plus he was always shoving the microphone in the other members' faces, trying to get them to talk. You can't blame the guy for making an effort.

He's also very physically affectionate. Undoubtedly, and self-proclaimed...ly, the most skinshippy member of the group. ("Skinship" is a nonsense English term in Korean (just go with it) that refers to physical affection, like hugging or hand-holding or platonic touching in general. I guess because ~homosexuality doesn't exist in Korea~, skinship between guys is totally okay, as compared to the US where male skinship is unacceptable without bruising and/or saying "no homo" or something. And that's why there is a concurrently huge slash fandom for kpop.) I think he's the one who is the most outwardly comfortable with all the members, because he's both so loving and so receptive. Jonghyun is really understatedly and genuinely sweet. He adjusts to different comfort levels in the group and is supportive without making a big show of it. I mean... idk. I really love him. He just seems like such a nice guy, once he stops being all awkward and blustery.

Quick .gif survey of Jonghyun with the other members of the group:

    

TWO OF MY FAVORITEST SHINEE GIFS EVER. The first .gif: Taemin (the youngest) running to tackle-hug Jonghyun; the second: Onew (the leader) tackle-hugging Jonghyun. Their happiness is :D inducing, Jonghyun's smile is a sunburst, I am completely gone over him, etc.

    

LOL THESE TWO AND THESE TWO. The first .gif: Jonghyun waddling randomly and Minho looking on fondly; the second: Jonghyun and his bff Key being cute and bffy.

HE IS ALSO SUPER EMOTIONAL. He has ENORMOUS crying jags. Oh well maybe not anymore, but he has seriously BAWLED at least seventy times on stage when they've won an award or reached number one on the charts or whatever. It's hardcore non-stop crying. You guys. Usually I find that uncomfortable as hell, and I think this word is overused, but Jonghyun crying is the most precious thing in the universe. I seriously started smiling and fucking cooing at the screen like I'm some person who uses "\o/" emoticons. What am I doing with my life. (LOOK AT HIM BITING HIS SLEEVE TO STOP CRYING. DEAR JESUS. LOOOL the others are so used to it. Minho is always so concerned/long-suffering. I AM WITH YOU MINHO. And lol, Taemin brattily making Jonghyun repeat himself when he's like SOBBING. AGHH <3___<3) It's so fucking charming. He has this masculine guyish image but he's so soft and emotional and full of feelings!! And I love that he doesn't seem to be all that embarrassed about it. YOUR PRECIOUS FEELINGS JONGHYUN, I LOVE THEMMMMMM *______*

PRECIOUS BEYOND PRECIOUS

Question: What was the happiest and saddest moments?
1. MH: It seems that for Jonghyun-hyung, both happiness and sadness come together.
2. ON: It is very confusing.
3. MH: He cries when he is so touched and happy. At first, I think he is crying because he is happy, but when he cries, he cries for 30 to 40 minutes… he starts to sob really bad like he is sad. Then you wonder, is this out of sadness or happiness, can’t figure it out.
4. JH: During “Juliet” period, I did cry like that. But once you start to cry, I start to think of other things and continue to cry. Really, both happy and sad moments come together. As I was crying, I thought about how Onew hurt himself, so I went, “Onew hyung!!” And cried more…
5. ON: Also thinks about sad movies, mom…
6. JH: Thinking about wanting to raise a puppy… But the happiest moment was when we won 1st place for Juliet.
7. MH: Because he was crying so hard, we took turns hugging him. Then he cried more, so staff took turns to hug him. Then he cried more so finally the manager hyung told him to “stop crying!”
8. ON: Then we went to eat and he cried again.
9. JH: I really cried a lot. I think I’m done with crying. Tears don’t come anymore.

source

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL I LOVE HIMMMM. "It is very confusing." He is honestly so sweet. Going "Onew-hyung!" And worrying about his mom! Thinking about raising a puppy in the middle of everything!!!! I am convinced that Jonghyun's mind is really weird and busy all the time. 30 minutes of crying, goddamn. Drama queen. <3___<3 (Actually the Juliette crying is kind of scary to watch. It's somewhat understandable, he wrote the lyrics to it and it probably was a big sign that he could actually make it as a music composer, but still. He cried SO FUCKING HARD.) Sadly, he really doesn't cry anymore. It's been a draught for the past year.

UM. ALSO, HE IS RIDICULOUSLY GOOD-LOOKING.

DEAR CHRIST.

I LOVE HIS FACE. LOOK AT HIS CHEEKBONES. HIS JAW LINE. OMG PORN PORN PORN. It is a visual feast. All those lean planes and perfect lines. *___* I love his nose, even his raptor nostrils, and his eyes. Christ, his eyes are GINORMOUS and the shape of them is so pretty. (omg I'm such a creep.) And his eyebrows. And his mouth. Ughhh that jaw. His cheekbones. DYING.

FFFFFFFFFF HIS JAWLIIIINE.

<3____<3

I will never ever ever get tired of looking at his profile.

Or this. He is so pretty.

He's SUCH a gorgeous boy, I can't even handle it. And he's so versatile. That makes him sound like a reversible jacket. I mean, he makes a lot of different ~styles~ look natural. He pulled the blond hair off SO well, and he did it in such a badass way. What the fuck. How is it possible. Minho, or Key, are usually picked as the models of the group, but I seriously think Jonghyun can wear anything. Even the really ridiculous clothes don't look outright terrible on him (and those aren't even the worst offenders). He pretty much makes anything look good, and HE always looks good. *STANNING HARD*

He can be really fierce and swaggery:

    

His stage presence is fucking tremendous.

WHAT AN ASSHOLE. (oh god, his cheekbones are out of control here. *_________*)

THE EPITOME OF HOT DOUCHEBAG

I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW THIS DOESN'T MAKE ME WANT TO PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE

Literally, UNF.

He can be REALLY adorable:

ASDFLKJWELKE;LWL;EJ;W;AWHNFAWERSDFLKKLNC DYIIIIING

LMAO <3_____<3

HIS EYES ARE GINOOOOOOOORMOUS WTFFFFFFFFFF *______*

Rockin' out. ADORABLE.

HE IS THE CUTEST FUCKING THING OH MY FUCKING GODDDDD

    

DOES THIS EVEN MAKE SENSE???? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE FOR ONE HUMAN BEING TO BE SO FUCKING CUTE

And then he is just so pretty. He's such a pretty, pretty boy. I love him.

Aww when the members surprised him on his birthday.

LOL why did they crimp his hair?!! It looks like a crinkle-cut french fry. I really can't get over how good he looked with the blonde. NO ONE should be able to pull that off as well as he did. HIS PERFECT FACE.

Ugh that flash of shoulder is like Victorian era porn. Keep your ankles covered, you harlot.

I FIND HIM SO ATTRACTIVE I CANNOT EVEN HANDLE IT. CHARMING AS FUCK

Right now Jonghyun's entered a stage in his life where he looks motherfucking attractive as fuck ALL THE TIME.

ALL.

THE.

TIME.

He's looking healthier (thank god ;__;) and a little older and wearing all these comfy grey cotton jackets and he's all solid and content and it is seriously killing me. He is going to be one of the hottest people in all possible universes when he's older. 

And I don't care that Hello is a blatant pile of perfectly calculated fan service, I am so happy and thankful for it. SHINee really needs a break. Hello is a total 180 from the grueling Lucifer promotions; it's all low-key and relaxed and cuddly. Jonghyun is like THE ULTIMATE IDEAL BOYFRIEND in the performances. I cannot even deal. He might be dead on the inside when he's smiling and flashing the peace sign, but I don't even know, it's seriously like this:

    

He is so sweet and his happy face is so disarming. Shameless fan bait = effective as fuck.

         

DYINNNNNNNG SO MANY GREY SHIRTS AND DARK SWEATERS. ;______;

A dip into more prurient waters: I love his body. He is fascinating in his hotness. He's kinda short (like 5'6," tops) and he has a complex about it, hence the biceps. It's clear that if he didn't work out he would be scrawny as hell. I mean, his arms are ripped but he's still sooo little. His stick-thin legs!! And his waist is literally ridiculous. It is TINY. It gives him a feminine kind of bodyline. His back/hip area is so....... compelling. Yes. That is the word. *____* But he's so lean and muscled? BUT CURVES? I love it.

THE EPITOME OF THIS. He's all guy'd out in his hat and baggy clothes and the flash of ~toned stomach, but his body roll is so sinuous and slinky. Uhhh I've watched this too many times.

LOOK AT HIS BACK. HIS BACKKKKKKK. (LOL this outfit makes no sense. He looks like a Final Fantasy character.)

   

You may be asking yourself, “Is that a stripper pole?” The answer is yes. Yes it is. This is from a mind-blowingly awkward show segment where they basically made the boys sex themselves up for the camera and, like, evaluated them. Pedotastic! When it was Jonghyun's turn to... pole-dance... he was, like, yelling, "I REALLY CAN'T DO IT. HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO DO THIS. I DON'T KNOW," the entire time. HIS NERVOUS/EMBARRASSED LAUGHING. How can anyone not love him?!!!!??

(I have a lot of extraneous thoughts about masculinity in South Korea and HOW ON EARTH this kind of weird... feminized... Lolita-y... sexualization of young "flower boys" is considered okay. TAEMIN WAS LIKE FIFTEEN AT THIS TIME FOR CHRIST'S SAKES. But uh for now JONGHYUN'S LAUGHING LITTLE FAAAAACE <3___<3)

Gahh he's so little and lean and muscley. Look at the sharp straight lines of his shoulders. He is delightful on a motherfucking structural level.

WHAT THE FUCK, RIGHT!? This is why I was morally opposed to that one genderswap fic that implied that girl!Jonghyun would be a stick. NO! SHE WOULD BE CURVY AS FUCK OKAY. COMPLETELY UNRELATEDLY, I am a pervert.

Fine, I'm obsessed with his waist. How can it be so perfectly cinched in?? It's so unexpected and pretty.
[edit @ 111210: LOL this is a picture of Key. What an embarrassing tumblr-level noob mistake. Oh well, they both have nice waists.]

BUT THEN LOOK AT HIS ARMS. JESUS CHRIST WTF

    

ARMS. And stupidly adorable faces. And... a giant boomerang/harness. God his torso is still so little in the second picture. 

Uhrrr I can't be bothered to cobble the rest of my hysterical yelling into paragraphs.
- I think Jonghyun is highly ~intuitive in some ways. When he's close to someone, he knows them really well. He also has a lot of confidence in them. I'm thinking mostly about his various comments on Onew and Key.
- He is left-handed! I have nothing to add except that I didn't know that and now I know and yeah.
- JONGHYUN WOULD BE/IS (depending on whether you adhere to the SM conspiracy theories on the Shin Sekyung dating bomb) A GREAT BOYFROND. On their awkward noona dating show he was really comfortable and charming with the ladiez. And he gave Taemin good advice on his date. I love that moment in Hello Baby where the camera catches him like mock-fighting with one of the female make-up artists/staff... person. (Also, LOL NO FUCKING WAY has he not dated before. They really need to stop building this weird pure image for idols. It's ridiculous and unhealthy.)
- HIS FAAAAAAAACESSSSSS

    

WHY DO YOU HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS JONGHYUN AND WHY CAN YOU NOT HIDE ANY OF THEM
- Also, Jonghyun is mature and really smart and reads Kafka and Poe and science fiction and writes lyrics and thinks deeply about music and understands people well and gives good advice, BUT.

    

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL. Okay, he is child-like, not dumb, but it's still fun to yell WHAT AN IDIOT, so: WHAT AN IDIOT <33333333333333333333
- The band members have said that he wakes up the earliest. He has like a row of five alarm clocks above his bed, lol wtf. They've also said he is the laziest, but I don't think that really means anything because no one in kpop is actually 'lazy,' or else they... wouldn't be in kpop. It is literally impossible not to work your ass off in that industry. This is why it's fucking difficult to dislike anyone in kpop; even if they're untalented and useless, everyone is so hard-working.
- The first five auto-fill search results in google when you type "jonghyun" are:
"jonghyun and shin se kyung"
"jonghyun shinee"
"jonghyun height"
"jonghyun shirtless"
"jonghyun dinosaur"
LOOOOOOOL
- Just so this post isn't 1000000% blind gushing: I think Jonghyun can be moody, cocky, and an asshole when he wants to be. He gets butthurt and doesn't handle being made fun of well. He seems like he can be standoffish or cold to people he doesn't know. Spending an entire day with him would probably be irritating as fuck when he's all hyperactive and talking non-stop. And he seems like he can be a snotty know-it-all. ALSO HE IS TOO PERFECT.
- For a while SHINee was one of the more inscrutable bands in kpop. Like super-polished, super-perfect, super-party line in interviews, no mistakes, no "scandals." They were called SM robots for a while. They've opened up a lot the past year. Their interviews are really interesting to read. They're a smart bunch of guys. Uhh this doesn't have anything to do with anything, I just wanted to mention it.
- LOOK AT HIM JUST GAMBOLING ABOUT LIKE A PUPPY. Being so comfy with the staff! He is so easy-going and frondly, I love him I love him I LOVE HIM. Thank you, creeper stalker fancams.

MOAR PICTURES

ASLKDFJWQERHOIQJEDS;F;L;;ASDLFASDJF

    

I would lol more at the Ring Ding Dong era (and believe me, I lol enough), if he did not honestly look so good. It's shouldn't work, with the feathers and the leather and his diva coats, but, like, he really does look as good as he's supposed to. HOW DOES HE NOT LOOK COMPLETELY STUPID??? UGH HIS FACE.

This picture is called 'you are adorable and i would marry you' because he is adorable and I would marry him.

Oh SM Town, how I love how much cake and water you waste.

JAAAAAAAAAAWLINE OMG. HOW CAN IT BE SO CLEAN AND PERFECT. LOOKING AT IT IS LIKE A PUNCH IN THE FACE.

He looks too thin here (Juliette/Ring Ding Dong were bad days for the boys in terms of like... basic nutrition) but his face, his faaaaaaaaaace. The lines of his face are so clean. HIS GIANT EYES. He is such a treasure. 

LOL they're still there, babe.

He's such a puppy. And why is his skin so perfect?? Also he should eat more; apparently he doesn't eat very much. ;____; WHY NOT, DAMNIT, YOU'RE TINY.

Seriously darling.

 

That charcoal grey cowl neck blouse that goes down half his chest does nothing to damage his attractiveness. How possible.

HE IS SO ENDEARING. LOOK AT HIM. *MAULS WIF LOVE*

DO I EVEN HAVE TO SAY HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS? What a beautiful little nerdling. Nerdatron. Nerdette. Yes, that last one.

GOD THAT FACE IS NO JOKE.

He is seriously so beautiful.

Explaining the Lucifer dance: "You have to act like you're trying to contact the aliens in outer space." LOL WAT

I'm going to stop here for the sake of human decency. Just know that I have about 6000 gifs and 5 million pictures. THIS IS THE PROBLEM WITH KPOP/ATTRACTIVE PEOPLE/LIFE. Korean fans have absurdedly good cameras and kpop stars have to be in the public like 300% of the their lives and Jonghyun looks the way he does and there are TOO MANY PICTURES. I've been crying from the overload for the past two weeks.

oh btw

In conclusion,

KIM JONGHYUN IS AN AMAZING PERSON AND I LOVE HIM
<3_______<3

sources: omtd, blinghyunaday, jonghyungifaday, fuckyeahjonghyun, these very excellent metas, google, life, the world, everything

edit @ 101221:
Since I made this first gigantor poast I've watched A LOT more videos/read more interviews/expanded my stalker repetoire and I've changed some of my v important opinions, which I must document since I am obsessive.
- Jonghyun does take himself too seriously sometimes but he's so fucking cute and he's such a dumb derpy dork, idk why he bothers. You look good as fuck on stage so just dork out in real life, okay!!
- I think in general, his self-confidence/self-conscious divide is him just honestly and shamelessly being proud of himself but also being very prone to second-guessing himself.
- I have no idea what I even meant by that paragraph about how open and undifficult Jonghyun is or whatever. Excessive gushing, too much love, etc etc.

Things I still agree with:
KIM JONGHYUN IS AN AMAZING PERSON AND I LOVE HIM