( disclaimer, i am insane )
( disclaimer, i am insane )
FEEL SO LOW YOU CAN'T FEEL NOTHIN AT ALL
Sep. 16th, 2010 01:07 pmIF I CANNOT FINISH THIS PAPER TODAY
I WILL
LITERALLY
DIE
WHY IS THIS SO HARD, I HAVE BEEN WORKING ON THIS CONTINUOUSLY LIKE NIGHT AND DAY FOR TWO WEEKS AND IT IS STILL NOT FINISHED AND IT IS ONLY SUPPOSED TO BE 6 - 10 PAGES DOUBLE-SPACED WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
AND NOW MY EARS ARE RINGING!!! GREAT I GUESS I'M GOING TO HAVE A STROKE OR SOMETHING THAT IS GREAT
THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE 5 HOURS OF SLEEP I'VE BEEN AVERAGING FOR THE PAST WEEK OR THE CAN OF CHERRY COKE I JUST DRANK
CAPS CAPS CAPS
I AM SO SAD IN MY HEART RIGHT NOW!!!!!!! THIS PAPER IS NEVER GOING TO BE FINISHED
LOOK AT ALL MY TAGS, I HOPE THEY ARE AS LONG AS THE ACTUAL ENTRY
WHY DO I HAVE SO MANY AND WHY ARE THEY ALL SO RELEVANT
HOBO CORN
OBAMA'S ICY GLAMOUR
BILLY IN SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE
will nature make a man of me yet
Feb. 1st, 2010 07:43 pmI've been sick for a couple of days now even though I was asleep more than I was awake for the same couple of days. The cumulative effect is that I feel like I've been asleep longer than I've been alive. I'm just so tired. I haven't eaten anything all day and yesterday I basically had a waffle and a few strawberries, ende.
I think my flash drive is broken. I am so dead inside right now. I had ALL my pictures on there. ALL OF THEM. You guys don't understand, I save EVERYTHING. There was a fucking CATACOMB of folders in that drive. I'M SO DEAD INSIDE. I have most everything backed up from April 2009, but that's almost a year ago. I KNEW I SHOULD'VE BEEN MORE PARANOID
MELANCHOLY
I'm lonely from all the things I don't understand, experience, appreciate, etc. From the time I was in the throes of pre-adolescent fuckery, I wanted to be a thousand different things at once so I ended up being nothing. Depression = paralyzed with hope (tm Maria Bamford).
Plus, I'm super crazy. I've been going to my mom's office to "help" with work (actually I'm useless) and my mom told me the other day that her boss said I was pretty (not in a creepy way). I was flattered for a second before I thought MAYBE SHE MADE THAT UP TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER ABOUT BEING UGLY. These days I even know I'm not ugly most of the time, so where did that thought come from? Unending paranoia I suppose.
om nom nom new fandom om nom nom Sherlock Holmes om nom nom Jude Law
Half the time he looks like a fucking serial killer and the other half he just looks like an asshole. Nevertheless he is honestly very good at being very beautiful. *____*
Let's get this out of the way: this fucker is AMAZING in the face.
( DAMN STRAIGHT IT'S A PICSPAM )
In closing,
This squishy-cute cool guy from San Francisco messaged me, and I replied back, except then (because I'm a loser) I re-read what I wrote 10 minutes later, panicked that maybe I sounded bitchy, AND THEN FLIPPED OUT AND WROTE HIM A SPAZZY APOLOGY EMAIL THAT ENDED WITH "KINDLY PRETEND THAT THIS DIDN'T HAPPEN" BECAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO. AUUUGHHH AWKWARDDDDDDD.
Okay I need to stop hanging around OkCupid. It is turning me into a bigger creeper than I already am. o____o
status update
Jul. 20th, 2008 12:21 amI need to go to a hair salon anyway b/c I wanted to cut my bangs myself yesterday and I snocked off a good inch before I realized I didn't know what the hell I was doing. So now my bangs make me look like I have a wavy toupee. It doesn't look that bad, considering, but I gotta get this sorted out.
Generally I'm weirded out by youtube bloggeurs but I saw a couple of cute ones in the past week. Boys with accents talking about whatever their little hearts desired!! Triplehypercute!
It's weird to me when my favorite bands like bands I don't like. That's it! Deep thought for the day!
No wait! Here's another one! If a long enough time passes, I won't want to say anything I... wanted to say. I am talking about blog posts here.
Because I am a good and emotionally healthy person, I tend to think that confident people are douches. Because confidence = unlikability. A+ amirite
We've been rewatching Arrested Development, seasons 2 and 3. I forgot how much I liked the Rita arc. Charlize Theron is hella perfeckt. I got baby shakin' excited thinking about the Arrested Development movie too! I hadn't really thought about it since I first heard of the possibilty, and the magnitude of just HOW FUCKING GOOD THAT MOVIE IS GOING TO BE OMFFFGG made me almost pee myself, right there in the middle of the kitchen holding a cup of yogurt. OH YES.
Also not news, but it needs to be said: Fox is dumber than a box of hair. I want to beat them with a bag full of batteries. This show is a MODERN MASTERPIECE, it like makes television PERFECT. AND IT GOT CANCELED. D;
I want to believe the sentiment that says "everything you need is already inside you," but I don't think it's true for everyone. Or maybe I'm scared of thinking it's true for me. Or maybe I'm full of shit. Probably that last one.
Similarly I want to believe that most famous people are famous for a good reason, but I'm not sure of that. It'd be nice if they were though.
It's funny how ordinary statements get weirdly validated and structured if they're also a song lyric! Very appropriately, I can't think of any examples at the moment. Pretend I did, and agree with me.
Also I just found out that "he not busy, being born is busy dying" (noticed from the time I wasted like two hours looking at all the graffitti on library desks) is NOT nonsense; it's from a Bob Dylan song. Oh, I thought to myself, it's probably a song I don't know. Wrong and fails aplenty! It's from It's Alright Ma (I'm Only Bleeding). But I immediately recognized it as something I've seen before, and moreover I remembered really quickly where I had seen it, so maybe subconsciously I knew that it wasn't nonsense after all. Yes.
I was sitting next to my dad at church today (he came up on Saturday) and he was falling asleep and omg he does the same thing I do when I'm desperately trying to stay awake!!!!!11 THAT IS WHERE I GET IT FROM. I thought I was like short-circuiting or something but it's genetic. (I'm morbidly curious about every similarity I have to my dad btw. Awesome, I know.)
I start summer school at CSUS tomorrow. I'm nervous even though the course sounds like sophomore yr math. I can't handle school especially not after that last quarter. College is scarring me for life, I'm not even joking.
sock missing! inquire within
Oct. 11th, 2007 10:46 amMissing: one sock.
I'm going crazy. I talked to myself SO MUCH yesterday. I seriously did not mean to; I was just saying things as I thought them. It was mostly "what the fuck is going on? I'm confused" statements, and no one was around me.
There was something else that occurred to me while I was in discussion but I forgot, tee hee.
Also I read more ontd than my interests should dictate, as in I will click cuts about things I absolutely do not care about just to read the comments or... something.
I think it's because I've been having to wake up at 8 and 9 everyday ('cept weekends) bicuz of my classes, and my system is so not used to it. It keeps crashing. I keep staying up to *mumble* all the time.
I just had my 9 to 10:30 class, I have class at 1 - 2, 2 - 3, then 4 - 5, then my major workshop from 5 - 6:30. I WOKE UP AT 7:30 TODAY.
Ira Glass sometimes says bizarre things.
I might be going home on Friday for the weekend, but 'm not sure.
My mamma's 50th birthday is on October 27th. I'm pretty sure I'm going up there. I want her to have a big ol' thing, but am unsure of how to go about planning one. I want to reserve a big room in a Korean restaurant and have a kareoke machine!! I think I'll call my uncle and aunt to ask how to go about doing that. It depends if we're going to stay home then or go to my cousin's house (in Mtnview, so in proximity to actual Korean restaurants.) It's very gauche to make my mom plan for it. I suppose I should consult my dad as well. I'm not sure what to do about her present either! I will make her an elaborate card, I think. That's about the extent of my capabilities.
Frosted Flakes with soy milk is so fucking good. I hate the dining halls' bowls, I can't drink the milk wif them. THIS IS IMPORTANT TO ME.
Why am I here? Where the fuck is my life going? How am I going to be successful? The money is such a waste