kerpingtack: badly cropped deers drawn by a korean artist (nearly spring)
My five days of torture turned out to be unnecessarily grim, as everyone had guessed, because I passed! the! class! YES! The professor was concerned about plagiarism, but not the accidental kind, and after she determined from my sea of babbling that I knew the subject matter enough to have written the paper, she told me that I was in the clear and would receive a B- for the class. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

So many people were concerned about me and checked up on me throughout the day, including my therapist/counselor who asked if she could call me after the meeting to see how I was, which was really really really nice of her. I called my mom who was happy for me, and my bost frond who was happy for me too, and so were my sister and my cousin and my therapist. I came back to the cool and empty apartment, hungry and happy and sleepy for the first time in days, and I ate a marathon of food while reading a good book. I felt safe and loved in the family of things.* I still do. It is a good feeling.

Urgh I wish I could delete my extra Skype names. I hate having extraneous accounts.

For what it's worth, I am really happy at the moment, but it feels a little shaky and delirious, like in just a couple of paces I'll be sad again. 

MY FAVORITE GAME TO PLAY is WHAT WOULD I MOST LIKE TO EAT RIGHT NOW?!?!? It is inherently depressing but good for organizing the soul. I would most like to eat tri-tip with warm soft French bread, potato salad, chicken salad with walnuts, apples, and bleu cheese dressing, and fruit punch. God that sounds good. I WANT TO HAS EATS NOW.

Inception has suuuch good fic, om nom nom. Still haven't seen it yet! And it makes me anxious to see everyone falling in love with Joseph Gordon-Levitt. I don't know why this unsettles me! Maybe it feels like I should be falling in love with him too. But I don't want to be all capsy and stuff, I just want to appreciate his fine acting (FOR REAL) and what an ultimate fantasy boyfrond he is. He'd be such a cool person to know. I like his dimples. Fine, maybe I'm already a little in love. Tra la la~

It was really hot today and it will only get hotter. Monday's high will be 99. WHAT THE FUCK.

*NOW THAT I AM TERRIFIED OF  NOT CITING THINGS: this is from Wild Geese by Mary Oliver, on which I imprinted something fierce when I was sixteen.
kerpingtack: corgis on the beach where the corgis are free (Default)
I'm locked out of my room until further notice. I can't even study for my ~quiz~ tomorrow because I need my ID to check out the book, and my ID is in my wallet. D:

Ohhh my god I want neapolitan ice cream. Even if the strawberry part tastes weird and shitty. I'm so hungry in general; I ate at 9 in the morning (I GOT UP SO EARLY AND I STILL LEFT MY WALLET AT THE APT, UNEXCUSABLE) and it's almost 5 now. That is an 8 hour difference. D:

I am going to reflect fondly on what I ate this morning: two frosted strawberry Pop-Tarts, two sunny side up eggs with a crapload of salt and pepper, kimchi, and a slice of "hickory smoked turkey" lunch "meat." LOL oh god "meat", that's so gross. But the quotation marks are sadly necessary.

I'M SO HUNGRY ALL THE TIME.

Roomie pleeeeeeeeeeeeease email/text/phone back, I am sorry for all the times I wish you would've been eaten by a sea monster. I meant it then but I totally don't mean it now.

My birthday plans revolve around food. I normally wouldn't talk about my birthday at all, except this year I am making it not suck by having it revolve around FOOD and I want to talk about food. For breakfast I will have two grilled pb&js with soy malk and cheese and it will be gr8. Wednesday night I'm going to buy some take-out Chili's, so that I can take the leftovers for Lunch (I'll reheat them on campus). OH you know what? I'm going to move my Thursday work hours to Tuesday so I can be done at 3:15. I'm going to have In n Out for dinner. And I am going to eat six red bean buns. SIX. And I will buy candy whenever I feel like througout the day. Maybe on Friday I'll order pizza. Or maybe I'll buy Sbarro's for lunch! And take home Panda Express! I'm so excited!!

Okay at the moment I still want the ice cream, but before it I want tri-tip and tater tots and warm bread and potato salad. With Minute Maid fruit punch. And I want a warm fudge brownie with almonds before/with the ice cream. Ughh I wish I could made food appear just by thinking about it. Or by clapping. PING~ This is just seriously what I do all day!!

kerpingtack: corgis on the beach where the corgis are free (Default)
un. THANKSGIVING
I have never been more excited about Thanksgiving. This year is like ESPECIALLY bad in terms of just wanting to leave, I am pretty much breathing so I can get to that weekend. Also obsessing about food. I just sit around thinking about things I get to eat.

deux. Mother's Cookies' Circus Animal Cookies
Ralph's is a fucking cockblock and doesn't have them. I am anxious and panicky! (at the disco). They stopped production on those cookies. They are not going to make any more of those cookies. Why doesn't Ralph's understand???

trois. grocery shopping in general
I need eggs, sandwich bread, lunch meat, and cheese. Maybe yogurt. How the hell do I get a Ralph's card? Ralph's is nexus of evil for me right now. 

quatre. plans
I'm building up a list of self-indulgent things to do on Special Day. Most of these things revolve around food. I'm going to eat In n Out and red bean buns and maybe Subway or Quizno's and buy candy. I was thinking of maybe watching a movie but ehhh I'd really rather eat all day zomg.

cinq. [ ]
I haven't been thinking continuously about anything else besides FOOD lol wtf. ommmg I'm so hungry all the time D:

edit: OMG I got a reply back for my ANGRY EMAIL to Powell Library. Peas and christ.

edit: THE ADDAMS FAMILY IS ON! I was just thinking about that movie, like two days ago!! :D

edit: I just thought of a REALLY GOOD screen name!! It's not my One True Screen Name but it's really good! I might switch over one day.
kerpingtack: alec baldwin in beetlejuice (CHEKRD SHRT + GLASSES = YES YES YES!!)
My mom came in with a plate saying, "Do you want to eat something REALLY DELICIOUS?!" I was skeptical I admit. They looked like normal potatoes. She said all she did was steam them. Obvs she steamed them with magic.

I am eating the potatoes right now. Oh my god they are so good. Potatoes, so good. Remember that! I want an icon with potatoes in them. Maybe with baby Baldwin eyeing up the potatoes. Maybe me eating potatoes on an eagle's back.

potatoes potatoes potatoes
kerpingtack: corgis on the beach where the corgis are free (Default)

Missing: one sock.

I'm going crazy. I talked to myself SO MUCH yesterday. I seriously did not mean to; I was just saying things as I thought them. It was mostly "what the fuck is going on? I'm confused" statements, and no one was around me.

There was something else that occurred to me while I was in discussion but I forgot, tee hee.  

Also I read more ontd than my interests should dictate, as in I will click cuts about things I absolutely do not care about just to read the comments or... something. 

I think it's because I've been having to wake up at 8 and 9 everyday ('cept weekends) bicuz of my classes, and my system is so not used to it. It keeps crashing. I keep staying up to *mumble* all the time. 

I just had my 9 to 10:30 class, I have class at 1 - 2, 2 - 3, then 4 - 5, then my major workshop from 5 - 6:30. I WOKE UP AT 7:30 TODAY. 

Ira Glass sometimes says bizarre things. 

I might be going home on Friday for the weekend, but 'm not sure.  

My mamma's 50th birthday is on October 27th. I'm pretty sure I'm going up there. I want her to have a big ol' thing, but am unsure of how to go about planning one. I want to reserve a big room in a Korean restaurant and have a kareoke machine!! I think I'll call my uncle and aunt to ask how to go about doing that. It depends if we're going to stay home then or go to my cousin's house (in Mtnview, so in proximity to actual Korean restaurants.) It's very gauche to make my mom plan for it. I suppose I should consult my dad as well. I'm not sure what to do about her present either! I will make her an elaborate card, I think. That's about the extent of my capabilities.

Frosted Flakes with soy milk is so fucking good. I hate the dining halls' bowls, I can't drink the milk wif them. THIS IS IMPORTANT TO ME.

Why am I here? Where the fuck is my life going? How am I going to be successful? The money is such a waste

kerpingtack: corgis on the beach where the corgis are free (Default)
Still rewatching. After you get over some annoying speed bumps, it's enjoyable dry wit fun. Oh Trent, still my TV boyfriend. I'm so predictable. Dark-haired, skinny, good big brother --> hook, line, sinker.

anti-kink: teacher/student romances. NO. Just... no. I find it demeaning to the teacher. It's messing with my love of high school AUs.

Also, god what is wrong with some people re: social behavior? I think I am gradually learning that being cool, articulate, witty, and smart doesn't mean you're nice or not a sort of douchey fuckfaced DWP. BOO. Alright. Once I internalize this my life will be easier. Maybe.

I was worried about Mice Parade because the name teeters on being too cutesy in the shitty "indie hip" way but nope! I get an entertaining image in mind when I hear the words "Mice Parade" anyway.

At breakfast this morning:
Girl 1: Really? She said that? That's so funny. Jenny seems soooo emo, you know?
Girl 2: Yeah?
Girl 1: I mean she's always wearing, like dark clothes. And, like, she doesn't smile that much.
Girl 2: Oh yeah, I know what you mean.
Girl 1: She's just soooo emo. Like, I've NEVER seen her wear pink. Like you know, she's wearing dark colors whenever I see her.

It sounds like I'm making it up, and I wish I were, but I'm totally not. Also, though not in this context, there's this weird phenomenon that happens with stupid people, I guess, where they say "that's so funny" or "how funny" or "it was hilarious" without ever ever ever sounding like they mean it. If it was so funny, why is your voice as dead as your soul? HUH?

Andrew Bird sounds like Rufus Wainwright sometimes and a little tiny bit like the guy from the Format. Neither are particularly good things. But damn, Heretics is a good song.

Lately I do this thing where I get my food all laid out and then ignore it for like an hour. My turkey pastrami has been out for about 20 min now, waiting for me to finish this LJ poast. Be patient, little one!

Oh oh oh SPN JA DEAN SAM! Never ever going to get over it.

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counting at war

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