hither and yon

My five days of torture turned out to be unnecessarily grim, as everyone had guessed, because I passed! the! class! YES! The professor was concerned about plagiarism, but not the accidental kind, and after she determined from my sea of babbling that I knew the subject matter enough to have written the paper, she told me that I was in the clear and would receive a B- for the class. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

So many people were concerned about me and checked up on me throughout the day, including my therapist/counselor who asked if she could call me after the meeting to see how I was, which was really really really nice of her. I called my mom who was happy for me, and my bost frond who was happy for me too, and so were my sister and my cousin and my therapist. I came back to the cool and empty apartment, hungry and happy and sleepy for the first time in days, and I ate a marathon of food while reading a good book. I felt safe and loved in the family of things.* I still do. It is a good feeling.

Urgh I wish I could delete my extra Skype names. I hate having extraneous accounts.

For what it's worth, I am really happy at the moment, but it feels a little shaky and delirious, like in just a couple of paces I'll be sad again. 

MY FAVORITE GAME TO PLAY is WHAT WOULD I MOST LIKE TO EAT RIGHT NOW?!?!? It is inherently depressing but good for organizing the soul. I would most like to eat tri-tip with warm soft French bread, potato salad, chicken salad with walnuts, apples, and bleu cheese dressing, and fruit punch. God that sounds good. I WANT TO HAS EATS NOW.

Inception has suuuch good fic, om nom nom. Still haven't seen it yet! And it makes me anxious to see everyone falling in love with Joseph Gordon-Levitt. I don't know why this unsettles me! Maybe it feels like I should be falling in love with him too. But I don't want to be all capsy and stuff, I just want to appreciate his fine acting (FOR REAL) and what an ultimate fantasy boyfrond he is. He'd be such a cool person to know. I like his dimples. Fine, maybe I'm already a little in love. Tra la la~

It was really hot today and it will only get hotter. Monday's high will be 99. WHAT THE FUCK.

*NOW THAT I AM TERRIFIED OF  NOT CITING THINGS: this is from Wild Geese by Mary Oliver, on which I imprinted something fierce when I was sixteen.

un. THANKSGIVING
I have never been more excited about Thanksgiving. This year is like ESPECIALLY bad in terms of just wanting to leave, I am pretty much breathing so I can get to that weekend. Also obsessing about food. I just sit around thinking about things I get to eat.

deux. Mother's Cookies' Circus Animal Cookies
Ralph's is a fucking cockblock and doesn't have them. I am anxious and panicky! (at the disco). They stopped production on those cookies. They are not going to make any more of those cookies. Why doesn't Ralph's understand???

trois. grocery shopping in general
I need eggs, sandwich bread, lunch meat, and cheese. Maybe yogurt. How the hell do I get a Ralph's card? Ralph's is nexus of evil for me right now. 

quatre. plans
I'm building up a list of self-indulgent things to do on Special Day. Most of these things revolve around food. I'm going to eat In n Out and red bean buns and maybe Subway or Quizno's and buy candy. I was thinking of maybe watching a movie but ehhh I'd really rather eat all day zomg.

cinq. [ ]
I haven't been thinking continuously about anything else besides FOOD lol wtf. ommmg I'm so hungry all the time D:

edit: OMG I got a reply back for my ANGRY EMAIL to Powell Library. Peas and christ.

edit: THE ADDAMS FAMILY IS ON! I was just thinking about that movie, like two days ago!! :D

edit: I just thought of a REALLY GOOD screen name!! It's not my One True Screen Name but it's really good! I might switch over one day.