joyous pandas

[kerpingtack]

My five days of torture turned out to be unnecessarily grim, as everyone had guessed, because I passed! the! class! YES! The professor was concerned about plagiarism, but not the accidental kind, and after she determined from my sea of babbling that I knew the subject matter enough to have written the paper, she told me that I was in the clear and would receive a B- for the class. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

So many people were concerned about me and checked up on me throughout the day, including my therapist/counselor who asked if she could call me after the meeting to see how I was, which was really really really nice of her. I called my mom who was happy for me, and my bost frond who was happy for me too, and so were my sister and my cousin and my therapist. I came back to the cool and empty apartment, hungry and happy and sleepy for the first time in days, and I ate a marathon of food while reading a good book. I felt safe and loved in the family of things.* I still do. It is a good feeling.

Urgh I wish I could delete my extra Skype names. I hate having extraneous accounts.

For what it's worth, I am really happy at the moment, but it feels a little shaky and delirious, like in just a couple of paces I'll be sad again. 

MY FAVORITE GAME TO PLAY is WHAT WOULD I MOST LIKE TO EAT RIGHT NOW?!?!? It is inherently depressing but good for organizing the soul. I would most like to eat tri-tip with warm soft French bread, potato salad, chicken salad with walnuts, apples, and bleu cheese dressing, and fruit punch. God that sounds good. I WANT TO HAS EATS NOW.

Inception has suuuch good fic, om nom nom. Still haven't seen it yet! And it makes me anxious to see everyone falling in love with Joseph Gordon-Levitt. I don't know why this unsettles me! Maybe it feels like I should be falling in love with him too. But I don't want to be all capsy and stuff, I just want to appreciate his fine acting (FOR REAL) and what an ultimate fantasy boyfrond he is. He'd be such a cool person to know. I like his dimples. Fine, maybe I'm already a little in love. Tra la la~

It was really hot today and it will only get hotter. Monday's high will be 99. WHAT THE FUCK.

*NOW THAT I AM TERRIFIED OF  NOT CITING THINGS: this is from Wild Geese by Mary Oliver, on which I imprinted something fierce when I was sixteen.

Comments

[fitz-carraldo.livejournal.com]

:D!!!1 Rock on, you fiery beast of awesomeness! So this was a case of your paper was so good it was like you stole it from Stephen Hawking, so they had to haul you in, shine a light in your eyes, smack you about a little, etc.? You're a big brain and everything's gonna be alright *contented sigh*

That poem was very beautiful, thanks for sharing it...

[counttheplanes.livejournal.com]

Ahhhhh thank you, thank you! idk about how good it was, but it was ~suspicious~ in some way and the professor did mentally smack me around a bit. It was scary! My legs felt disconnected from my upper body and my head felt detached altogether.

I'm glad you liked the poem, I really love it too. It's the way I want to look at life and people and everything.

Thank you again for your comments this past week!! I appreciate them and you and everything, everything! They gave me much courage in my heart.

[neinstories.livejournal.com]

i love that poem! just uh, lettin' you know.

frond you are the bost and i am happy for your happiness, even if this comment is delayed.