counting at war (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
kerpingtack) wrote2011-08-02 02:12 pm
kerpingtack) wrote2011-08-02 02:12 pm
axels
For reference: had my final on Wednesday, took the bus & train back home, came back yesterday in this freezing 7.5 hr trip (the bus was SO FUCKING COLD ughh) and immediately had to go to my lecture. sigh my last quarter here. I'm going crazy. whatever. I JUST HAVE TO PASS. I JUST HAVE TO PASS.
- I had a lot of moments this weekend where I was like wow self you're just not very good-looking. Also I bought this really frilly party dress a few weeks ago for my aunt's birthday party on Saturday but it made me all depressed because it's too pretty for me. I tried to foist it onto my sister but surprisingly it fit her oddly. Now I don't know what to do with it! I guess I'll try to return it. It's a shame. It's soo pretty and frilly; I just can't have it around when I feel so gross in it. ~wailt~
- Trying to inventory my ~strengths. My dad said once that I'm unique in that I'm both intuitive/instinctive about my reactions to things but I'm also organized so I can analyze them. lol that goes with my INFJ Myers-Briggs personality type. I guess that makes sense because I do put a lot of stock in my feeeeelings about things and obsess about them a lot. But it's more like what Louis C.K. said, "I really am stupid, and it bothers me. Like, I wish I was more stupid, because then it wouldn't, I wouldn't, all my thoughts would just be mlllrrrgh hurr hurr. But instead here's how my brain works: it's stupidity, followed by self-hatred, and then further analysis. It's not a very efficient system of thought. I have these dumb thoughts, duhhh, and then I go WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, and then I figure it out. But the impulse is always really stupid." (Louis C.K. is really smart though!)
- I like personality tests because it's like reading meta about myself lol and I'm self-obsessed. tee hee!!!
fandom
- Key is so much more interesting than some of his stans make him sound.
- The video of Romantic at SHINee's Taiwan concert really made (makes ;~;) me worried. Jonghyun fucking skips an entire line to catch his breath and then doesn't sing the rest of the bridge with Key and Onew. Taemin and Key look over at him in surprise at the first mistake. I've talked myself down from the worst of my crazy worries but it's still pretty shocking and painful to see. I've never seen him do that before, ever. (According to this review they were all really visibly exhausted except during the Bodyguard stage crycat.) And apparently he was sick again last week? Fucking take care of yourself ;~~~;
- wrt Beatles: John/Paul is SO fucking sad. It's a legit tragedy. I'm glad they reconciled before John's death but they never fully got to reconnect after years of miscommunication and spiteful ego trips and honest hurt, and jesus they loved each other so much, not even in a shippy way. goddamn.
- relatedly, the johnheartpaul discussions pre-2008 are still my MOST favorite instances of sensibly crazy over-invested over-analysis. they go on forever and they talk about EVERYTHING, ugh it's so fucking gooood. they make a damn good case that something fucking happened in India.
- Taemin's fans got him a huge mess of CDs for his birthday and one of them is Belle & Sebastian's Fold Your Hands Child!! LMAO IRL omg if Taemin is a B&S fan... I'm scared to even think about what would become of me. I'd almost HAVE to love him for at least forever. Belle & Sebastian is one of those things I CANNOT have any objectivity about because they were so formative to me and my tastes/thoughts about music. When I listened to them I started to really identify things I loved about ~art/cultural products in general (a sense of humor, self-awareness, sincerity, odd narratives/character pieces, unconventional voices, etc). sigh. I want to rediscover them somehow, like listen to them anew again and get that "whoa I REALLY fucking like this" feeling.
- I have a very enthusiastic curiosity about Jonghyun's body and I am fucking obsessed with this video.
youtube comment I agree very much with: /stares at left leg for the entire video. those are some very cruel... pant-like things. jfc that first ring ding dong move, just jfcccc. it's not even just the flash of thigh, it's how his shirt lifts up too. Lucifer performance right after (lol at how the camera zooms in at the end. lol and gahhhh ;-;). & his Lucifer outfits are why I think that the stylists give him and Taemin the most sexualized/questionable outfits.
- More body fascination: LOOK AT HIS FUCKING WAIST fucking crying
- I had a lot of moments this weekend where I was like wow self you're just not very good-looking. Also I bought this really frilly party dress a few weeks ago for my aunt's birthday party on Saturday but it made me all depressed because it's too pretty for me. I tried to foist it onto my sister but surprisingly it fit her oddly. Now I don't know what to do with it! I guess I'll try to return it. It's a shame. It's soo pretty and frilly; I just can't have it around when I feel so gross in it. ~wailt~
- Trying to inventory my ~strengths. My dad said once that I'm unique in that I'm both intuitive/instinctive about my reactions to things but I'm also organized so I can analyze them. lol that goes with my INFJ Myers-Briggs personality type. I guess that makes sense because I do put a lot of stock in my feeeeelings about things and obsess about them a lot. But it's more like what Louis C.K. said, "I really am stupid, and it bothers me. Like, I wish I was more stupid, because then it wouldn't, I wouldn't, all my thoughts would just be mlllrrrgh hurr hurr. But instead here's how my brain works: it's stupidity, followed by self-hatred, and then further analysis. It's not a very efficient system of thought. I have these dumb thoughts, duhhh, and then I go WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, and then I figure it out. But the impulse is always really stupid." (Louis C.K. is really smart though!)
- I like personality tests because it's like reading meta about myself lol and I'm self-obsessed. tee hee!!!
fandom
- Key is so much more interesting than some of his stans make him sound.
- The video of Romantic at SHINee's Taiwan concert really made (makes ;~;) me worried. Jonghyun fucking skips an entire line to catch his breath and then doesn't sing the rest of the bridge with Key and Onew. Taemin and Key look over at him in surprise at the first mistake. I've talked myself down from the worst of my crazy worries but it's still pretty shocking and painful to see. I've never seen him do that before, ever. (According to this review they were all really visibly exhausted except during the Bodyguard stage crycat.) And apparently he was sick again last week? Fucking take care of yourself ;~~~;
- wrt Beatles: John/Paul is SO fucking sad. It's a legit tragedy. I'm glad they reconciled before John's death but they never fully got to reconnect after years of miscommunication and spiteful ego trips and honest hurt, and jesus they loved each other so much, not even in a shippy way. goddamn.
- relatedly, the johnheartpaul discussions pre-2008 are still my MOST favorite instances of sensibly crazy over-invested over-analysis. they go on forever and they talk about EVERYTHING, ugh it's so fucking gooood. they make a damn good case that something fucking happened in India.
- Taemin's fans got him a huge mess of CDs for his birthday and one of them is Belle & Sebastian's Fold Your Hands Child!! LMAO IRL omg if Taemin is a B&S fan... I'm scared to even think about what would become of me. I'd almost HAVE to love him for at least forever. Belle & Sebastian is one of those things I CANNOT have any objectivity about because they were so formative to me and my tastes/thoughts about music. When I listened to them I started to really identify things I loved about ~art/cultural products in general (a sense of humor, self-awareness, sincerity, odd narratives/character pieces, unconventional voices, etc). sigh. I want to rediscover them somehow, like listen to them anew again and get that "whoa I REALLY fucking like this" feeling.
- I have a very enthusiastic curiosity about Jonghyun's body and I am fucking obsessed with this video.
youtube comment I agree very much with: /stares at left leg for the entire video. those are some very cruel... pant-like things. jfc that first ring ding dong move, just jfcccc. it's not even just the flash of thigh, it's how his shirt lifts up too. Lucifer performance right after (lol at how the camera zooms in at the end. lol and gahhhh ;-;). & his Lucifer outfits are why I think that the stylists give him and Taemin the most sexualized/questionable outfits.
- More body fascination: LOOK AT HIS FUCKING WAIST fucking crying
