rhiannon

[kerpingtack]

Glorious things I'm going to do once I'm done with this hellspawn demon paper (fuck I can't believe how full of papers my life has been this year):
- spend seven hours on the bus/train going back hoammmm
- work on jongyu in Japan/jongho ambiguous/jongyu where they actually get together and/or is happy or smth idk
- work on Sunny post
- Jonghyun singing/voice spam (= write endless paragraphs of ;~;s)
- ORGANIZE MY PICTURES FOLDER (I love doing this <3__<3)

Killing time/squiggling away from paper-writing:

I felt cute today even though on closer inspection I looked crazy and disheveled, not put together and streamlined like I was in my head. I had pigtails lol. :(

recent filenames

GET OUT WITH YOUR CHINA WOODCUT PATTERN JACKET AND YOUR PERFECT LITTLE FACE OMFG
taemin reliving his mistake over and over
gaadddddammmmmn youuuuuuuuu
think about england onew
stupid fashion poncho
the back of jonghyun's head is in this picture therefore JONGHO4EVER
you bitches
FUCKING CRYING LET ME MARRY YOU JUST ONCE
STOP WITH THE VESTS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD
get out taemin!!!!
shindong looks like one of those things at the end of star wars
FUCK i have to order this
ugh fuck this i'm ordering it
WHY THE FUCK AM I SO POOR
minho holding a ball of light and looking good
taemin holding a ball of light and blossoming like a flower
key holding a ball of light and being a fairy
onew holding a ball of light and looking like he's about to play dodgeball
jonghyun holding a ball of light and being my future husband forever
bloaty froggy schoolteacher minho
jjong is a pouty teenage girl lol unf
i'm gonna shove you into a book rack taemin
i have a shirt in that material
what is this go back to your hutch onew
never seen before equals instant save
selca queens
power lesbians
why am i saving this
GET OUT RIGHT NOW
STOP PRETENDING YOU HAVE DIGNITY

and a mini-series of Abbey Road pictures, saved exactly in this order lol

god fucking damnit i'm so fucking upset ;~~~;
JJONG WHY ;~~~~~~~;
crying WHY
I HATE EVERYTHING ;~~~;
I HATE EVERYTHING OMFG
FUCK I HATE EVERYTHING I'M SO FUCKING UPSET ;~~~;
I'M SO FUCKING ANGRY GOD WHY
oh onew looks really good here
I'M SO FUCKING UPSET

- I really love SHINee's pre-show huddle ritual, the ultra SHINee transformation thing. It's so weird and incomprehensible. I wonder what it means to them? God I need to get a hold of myself.
- TAEMIN AND JONGHYUN. Confusing thoughts! I used to think that they were quite uncomplicated despite their distance but now I'm not sure. Taemin looks up to Jonghyun at the same time he looks down on him, Jonghyun's backed off on the big brothering, but they're interacting more? Orrrr we're just seeing it more ahaha ugh I gotta back off this fandom.
- Why are people so shamelss about their stupidity? UNRELATEDLY why don't some stans understand the people they stan at all? ALSO UNRELATEDLY I think it's really weird and annoying when people are like "x can do better than y" when x and y are ACTUALLY FRIENDS and LIKE EACH OTHER IN REAL LIFE. Stop being gross and projectiony, fans!! Even if you do feel the need to like... find the ~perfect person~ for your weird idealized projection puppet, can you notttt in public, especially in fic comments when the pairing is the x/y you're railing against? Like I am much too invested in Jonghyun's emotional health but I'm not going to presume that I actually know his relationships better than he does. Or any other celebrity figure. Fine okay, I'm annoying myself with this passive-aggressiveness: SOME ONHO STANS ARE MEAN TO JJONG AND IT BOTHERS ME >:( omg everything I'm writing right now is telling me I have to get a grip.
- uhhh... anyway I love this:

At the next Jonghyun’s turn, other members all gathered to watch his shooting. Monitoring the computer screen, Minho-goon made orders like “Smile more!,” “Hyung! make your face like this!” to Jonghyun-goon.

Key-goon joined the lively circle to watch Jonghyun-goon.

While receiving all attention, Jonghyun remained undisturbed and showed a cool look.

The last was Minho-goon’s solo shot. He played with Taemin-goon or talked with the staff or other members as a mood maker until right before the shooting started, but he changed into a different person when he sat before the camera. The camera man praised, “You have pretty eyes!”

Only the solo photos are posted, but they observed seriously other members’ shooting. It was impressive they get along well and stimulate each other. They were very lively checking dance moves or humming while talking in between the solo photoshoots. Their topics were endless. Brilliantly shining 5 members of SHINee!

JONGHYUN LISTEN TO THEM EVEN IF THEY'RE TROLLING YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO WITH YOUR DUMB PERFECT FACE ASIDE FROM THE THREE POSES/EXPRESSIONS YOU ALWAYS DO. Also lolll SHINee like to unite against Jonghyun. Also awwww Minho as the mood maker!!

I've decided that I use ;~; too much and I'm going to try to cut back!!

edit @ 11:01 pm: Wow this entry is dumb. Oh my brains, what will become of them.

Comments

[blingdingdong.livejournal.com]

lol I love your file names.

I have a hard time figuring out Taemin and Jonghyun, too. At times they don't seem really close, but then there are those moments when there's something, like Taemin touching Jonghyun's arms or that back massage in HB (I can't think of anymore examples for the two of them atm). It looks like most of it comes from Taemin (?) and that he just wants to harrass Jonghyun.

I definitely think you're right about Taemin simultaneously looking up to and down at Jonghyun. I also remember someone speculating on the meme that Taemin may not have a lot of patience with Jonghyun (and probably vice versa) and that's why they aren't as close. I agree with that, too.
Uh, ending the mini-essay not. Bascially, Taemin confuses me.

[counttheplanes.livejournal.com]

I'm way too fixated on the way ppl name their files lol

In the early days Jonghyun was like constantly stroking Taemin's bowl cut (lmao I have like 20 different gifs of this) and was quite protective of him, like walking him to school and all. idk they seem to have drifted apart from at least Juliette. there's that infamous LLO era gif of Taemin being all annoyed and bratty when Jonghyun's trying to fix his hair for him. The simple explanation seems to be that Taemin's trying to grow up, Jonghyun is too big brothery, and yeah he doesn't have much patience or like... respect for him (compare to how Taemin treats Onew). but idk there are moments where Taemin stares at Jonghyun while he's singing like he's trying to MEMORIZE how Jonghyun does it lol, and when they do interact it's just like two weirdos being weird together. They've got a similar mental age.

ia on Taemin bothering Jonghyun lol. And Jonghyun is a pushover. I think it's kind of that Taemin doesn't have much use for Jonghyun except for bored entertainment purposes, but Jonghyun is okay with that. They're having a lot more ~moments these days too though, like I guess they're working out and helping each other exercise these days?? (that brief moment in the SMTown in Paris BTS vids omg I literally went o___o when I saw it.) But maybe that's all part of Taemin's master plan to suck the life force out of Jonghyun and usurp his place in the center, as lead singer, as the masculine/muscley one, etc!!1111

I'm trying to get a better hold on Taemin. Seeing him struggle and put in effort in Japan is really endearing me to him, lol. But he's still pretty guarded with his ^^;; face and robottiness. He confuses me too!

[blingdingdong.livejournal.com]

(omg Jonghyun and his obsession with fixing hair)

Except for Yunhanam, I've never really looked at SHINee when they were first starting out, so it's interestingto find out about their early relationship. I also didn't hear about them working out together, though it reminds me of Minho's story about Taemin giving up during their exercises together, lol. But, just like you said with his recent struggles, if Taemin's determined to do something, I think he'll try his hardest.

And I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who wonders if Taemin's plotting to take Jonghyun's spot. XD

[counttheplanes.livejournal.com]

I like looking at where SHINee started out, if only because I'm really interested in shoehorning things into ~narrative arcs~ and kpop lends itself to that well with all the separate and distinct "eras." But ah don't really take what I say too seriously; I just shoot my mouth off about them even though I've only been in the fandom since last summer, ahaha. (To my credit, I'm really obsessive and in-depth about my stanning.)

LOL I'm mostly joking, but Jonghyun does seem to represent some of Taemin's ambitions (or what we know about them anyway). Like Taemin wants to be seen as manly and wants to improve his singing and get more parts, and Jonghyun is generally/publically recognized to be masculine and an exemplary singer. It's funny; Taemin personally seems to idolize Onew but he's molding himself more in Jonghyun's image? idk now I feel delusional. In conclusion, GET OUT OF THE CENTER TAEMIN YOU CAN'T EVEN HOLD THE MIC PROPERLY IN INTERVIEWS.

[blingdingdong.livejournal.com]

I like seeing where they started, too, but they were so awkward that I can't do it often. I'm glad they've (mostly) grown out of that.

Taemin's so cute when he says he wants to be manly (which is probably not the reaction he wants, lol). I agree that he does seem to be molding himself after Jonghyun, especially with his singing. I got confused about who was singing during some of the songs on Lucifer (that could just be me, though...).

lol, I don't like seeing Taemin in the middle, either.

[counttheplanes.livejournal.com]

They were UNBELIEVEABLY AWKWARD o m g.

Taemin is such a strange creature. It's really incidental that he was born looking the way he does (that precious young boy/unearthly creature/beautiful girl look) bc in a lot of ways he's a normal gross teenage boy. But then he milks the cute maknae thing for all it's worth too. He really seems defined by how young he is.

LOL I know what you mean about the similar tones of their voices. For me, if it sounds like Jonghyun except weaker and warbly, it's Taemin. LOL not necessarily in a bad way but if he's going to keep getting more parts I want him to put some more energy into it. Sometimes he sounds so untrained and bland. Like, he sings Replay like a choir boy, it's so distractingly lulzy.

[rumble.livejournal.com]

lol your filenames. mine are like tumblr09rkfd_kfsldfdsoifq2.gif :(

talking to you has made me realize that i might be a little too hard on taemin. but it's not because i'm bitter about him taking jonghyun's lines/place, i've just always been a little :| about him. and i was thinking about it and i think it's because he's like a mix of onew and key. he has that really socially awkward side like onew, the blinding demonstrative self-confidence like key and then he's got the crazy insecurity onkey have as well. idk he's a weird kid, sometimes he makes me super uncomfortable lol. i really like jongtae most of the time because it brings out a really strange side in jonghyun idg at all but i have a harder time dealing with other taemin pairings because he feels a bit like the side order in those. IDK!

- work on jongyu in Japan/jongho ambiguous/jongyu where they actually get together and/or is happy or smth idk
- Jonghyun singing/voice spam (= write endless paragraphs of ;~;s)

looking forward to these omg :D! also because then i don't have to finish this jonghyun/onew music spam i've been working on for like, a million years lol i'm lazy whatever

[rumble.livejournal.com]

*a little :| about him since debut

why can i never comment without getting smth wrong omg

[counttheplanes.livejournal.com]

idk for the most part I don't give a fuck about Taemin ahaha, mostly because he doesn't give a lot, you know? I think he's kinda guarded and when people are obviously trying to... idk reserve? parts of themselves away from the public eye like that I feel kinda uncomfortable trying to focus too much on them, like I'm prying. Onew is guarded too but he actively creates that sangtae front, so he's kinda giving something at least. Taemin doesn't care enough/doesn't really have to since he can get by pretty well with that ^^;; face. or something. I've never thought about him as a mix of Onew and Key, that's a cool way to think about it and it makes a lot of sense. And no wonder Taemin's so weird~ idk, Taemin's insecurity is strange. He seems pretty confident aside from his nervousness about public speaking and singing, but he got that nose job and everything.

nooooooo finish them idk if I'll finish any of the spams I say I will lol I just like the idea of making them. They get me through a lot of shitty bus rides.

[counttheplanes.livejournal.com]

You know what, actually idk if Taemin is guarded or if there really isn't much to him. He's seriously such a robot to me. Like idk how much of it is him being reserved as a public figure and how much of it is actual unformed personality bc he's still a kid figuring out what he likes and who he is. (Or more unflatteringly, how much of it is just NO PERSONALITY. Even if he's young, like, onjongkey at that age had definite tastes and... personalities. But they didn't grow up in the idol machine the way Taemin did. ugh whatever idk.) OH WELL.