counting at war (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
kerpingtack) wrote2011-12-13 12:49 pm
kerpingtack) wrote2011-12-13 12:49 pm
omg subject titles why
I am almost 12000% sure that I am in the worst shape of my fucking life right now. I think my metabolism is probably shot to death on account of how I spent the entire summer not eating. And I barely move if I don't have to, much less go outside or "to the gym," so it's not like I exercise. I treat my body horribly. Sorry, body, I don't think that I have quite accepted that I am connected to you. Especially since I talk like I am a complete entity separate from it hahaha.
Food is really associated with commitment and money to me. Umm I don't have anything else to say. I think food, and eating, get really loaded down with other meanings for some people, so that meals become representative of all these other things from your past and family and the way you grew up and the way you feel about yourself, and it becomes a victory/defeat thing against your body and mind. Like food could be about control and also how you don't have anyone to eat with; how much it costs, how much YOU cost, and the relative value of the two against each other; the body image you grew up with; the way you don't want to get up in the morning. And hunger itself is emotional. For me, once I got used to feeling hungry (out of like EXTREME laziness. I would rather starve than expend unwanted effort), it became something I almost enjoyed. It felt like a sharp emptiness and something I did knowingly, idk, it was something about my body that I understood and I owned. The hunger was mine and I knew why it was there and I knew how I could fix it if I wanted. And it was also a ~cool~ contrast against the years before when I wanted to eat a lot. idk. This summer was reallllly unhealthy lol. This fall too. But I'm eating better now!
(talking about sister's boyfriend's band)
me: Do they have a name yet?
sister: No, I don't think they've even talked about it.
mom: How about Wizards of [town they live in]?
me and sister: What? Why?
mom: Oh, is there a girl in the band?
me and sister: No...
mom: Then Wizards!!!
When I looked up "minwoo jonghyun" (I was checking something) google said "Showing results for minho jonghyun" instead and gave me a page full of jongho fic and like four different links to their Jojo rehearsal kiss. kekekekeke
(in the car listening to the CD I burned)
sister: Is this whole thing just Jonghyun?
me: No, it's my SHINee mix!! But yes.
Half the songs on there are Jonghyun lives. LOL. ;~;
It's so nice having my sister home. I've missed her so much, I didn't even realize it. crie crie crie. She'll be super busy finishing all her pre-requisites before her third year so she might not be able to come home for spring break or summer ;A; My mom is thinking about going to Korea this summer too, and I don't want to go without my sister lol. ~clingy~ ;;;;;;
Here is a brief list of the things my sister likes: animals, babies, the environment, marching band, looking up craft blogs, organizing gmail calendars, ignoring podcasts, and Gnome Town.* Most recent status update: MY CAT IS SOOOOOOOO CUTE EVERYTHING HE DOES IS CUTE
*it's a Farmville-type game on facebook. You are a gnome living in a town and you clear leaves and chop down mushrooms and stuff. I'm level 11!!
speaking of Gnome Town:
me: I want Jonghyun to sing in his lower range more. I'm gonna write him a letter.
sister: OHHH I want to write letters to Gnome Town! I wanted to tell them that I like the cave much better than the briar patch.
me: LOLLL
sister: I told my friend and she said maybe they'll send us t-shirts!!
I don't think I've ever communicated my love for the way Key says "I still love you" at the beginning of Love Still Goes On. He says it so brattily lolololol.
I have no taste nor do I have any presupposed feelings about Christmas music so I already loved Last Christmas, and I love SHINee's version too. Jonghyunnnnnnnnn ;~~~~;
My mom is on a mailing list for something called National Organization of Marriage. Their abbreviation is NOM. LOL.
Food is really associated with commitment and money to me. Umm I don't have anything else to say. I think food, and eating, get really loaded down with other meanings for some people, so that meals become representative of all these other things from your past and family and the way you grew up and the way you feel about yourself, and it becomes a victory/defeat thing against your body and mind. Like food could be about control and also how you don't have anyone to eat with; how much it costs, how much YOU cost, and the relative value of the two against each other; the body image you grew up with; the way you don't want to get up in the morning. And hunger itself is emotional. For me, once I got used to feeling hungry (out of like EXTREME laziness. I would rather starve than expend unwanted effort), it became something I almost enjoyed. It felt like a sharp emptiness and something I did knowingly, idk, it was something about my body that I understood and I owned. The hunger was mine and I knew why it was there and I knew how I could fix it if I wanted. And it was also a ~cool~ contrast against the years before when I wanted to eat a lot. idk. This summer was reallllly unhealthy lol. This fall too. But I'm eating better now!
(talking about sister's boyfriend's band)
me: Do they have a name yet?
sister: No, I don't think they've even talked about it.
mom: How about Wizards of [town they live in]?
me and sister: What? Why?
mom: Oh, is there a girl in the band?
me and sister: No...
mom: Then Wizards!!!
When I looked up "minwoo jonghyun" (I was checking something) google said "Showing results for minho jonghyun" instead and gave me a page full of jongho fic and like four different links to their Jojo rehearsal kiss. kekekekeke
(in the car listening to the CD I burned)
sister: Is this whole thing just Jonghyun?
me: No, it's my SHINee mix!! But yes.
Half the songs on there are Jonghyun lives. LOL. ;~;
It's so nice having my sister home. I've missed her so much, I didn't even realize it. crie crie crie. She'll be super busy finishing all her pre-requisites before her third year so she might not be able to come home for spring break or summer ;A; My mom is thinking about going to Korea this summer too, and I don't want to go without my sister lol. ~clingy~ ;;;;;;
Here is a brief list of the things my sister likes: animals, babies, the environment, marching band, looking up craft blogs, organizing gmail calendars, ignoring podcasts, and Gnome Town.* Most recent status update: MY CAT IS SOOOOOOOO CUTE EVERYTHING HE DOES IS CUTE
*it's a Farmville-type game on facebook. You are a gnome living in a town and you clear leaves and chop down mushrooms and stuff. I'm level 11!!
speaking of Gnome Town:
me: I want Jonghyun to sing in his lower range more. I'm gonna write him a letter.
sister: OHHH I want to write letters to Gnome Town! I wanted to tell them that I like the cave much better than the briar patch.
me: LOLLL
sister: I told my friend and she said maybe they'll send us t-shirts!!
I don't think I've ever communicated my love for the way Key says "I still love you" at the beginning of Love Still Goes On. He says it so brattily lolololol.
I have no taste nor do I have any presupposed feelings about Christmas music so I already loved Last Christmas, and I love SHINee's version too. Jonghyunnnnnnnnn ;~~~~;
My mom is on a mailing list for something called National Organization of Marriage. Their abbreviation is NOM. LOL.
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Lol, this is completely stupid but at first I thought your sister was calling Jjong a gnome when I first read the conversation, it seemed so out of nowhere.
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& ty for your concern all throughout the time I've known you, and for your reminders that food is good and necessary. It's a simple thing but easy to forget, ty ty ;;
LOL noooo she wasn't! Oh I just tried to think of ways to clarify the conversation but I guess it just doesn't make much sense in general (~except to me~) because there's not any more context lol. Anyway Jonghyun is an elf not a gnome. ㅎㅅㅎ