counting at war (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
kerpingtack) wrote2011-08-02 02:12 pm
kerpingtack) wrote2011-08-02 02:12 pm
axels
For reference: had my final on Wednesday, took the bus & train back home, came back yesterday in this freezing 7.5 hr trip (the bus was SO FUCKING COLD ughh) and immediately had to go to my lecture. sigh my last quarter here. I'm going crazy. whatever. I JUST HAVE TO PASS. I JUST HAVE TO PASS.
- I had a lot of moments this weekend where I was like wow self you're just not very good-looking. Also I bought this really frilly party dress a few weeks ago for my aunt's birthday party on Saturday but it made me all depressed because it's too pretty for me. I tried to foist it onto my sister but surprisingly it fit her oddly. Now I don't know what to do with it! I guess I'll try to return it. It's a shame. It's soo pretty and frilly; I just can't have it around when I feel so gross in it. ~wailt~
- Trying to inventory my ~strengths. My dad said once that I'm unique in that I'm both intuitive/instinctive about my reactions to things but I'm also organized so I can analyze them. lol that goes with my INFJ Myers-Briggs personality type. I guess that makes sense because I do put a lot of stock in my feeeeelings about things and obsess about them a lot. But it's more like what Louis C.K. said, "I really am stupid, and it bothers me. Like, I wish I was more stupid, because then it wouldn't, I wouldn't, all my thoughts would just be mlllrrrgh hurr hurr. But instead here's how my brain works: it's stupidity, followed by self-hatred, and then further analysis. It's not a very efficient system of thought. I have these dumb thoughts, duhhh, and then I go WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, and then I figure it out. But the impulse is always really stupid." (Louis C.K. is really smart though!)
- I like personality tests because it's like reading meta about myself lol and I'm self-obsessed. tee hee!!!
fandom
- Key is so much more interesting than some of his stans make him sound.
- The video of Romantic at SHINee's Taiwan concert really made (makes ;~;) me worried. Jonghyun fucking skips an entire line to catch his breath and then doesn't sing the rest of the bridge with Key and Onew. Taemin and Key look over at him in surprise at the first mistake. I've talked myself down from the worst of my crazy worries but it's still pretty shocking and painful to see. I've never seen him do that before, ever. (According to this review they were all really visibly exhausted except during the Bodyguard stage crycat.) And apparently he was sick again last week? Fucking take care of yourself ;~~~;
- wrt Beatles: John/Paul is SO fucking sad. It's a legit tragedy. I'm glad they reconciled before John's death but they never fully got to reconnect after years of miscommunication and spiteful ego trips and honest hurt, and jesus they loved each other so much, not even in a shippy way. goddamn.
- relatedly, the johnheartpaul discussions pre-2008 are still my MOST favorite instances of sensibly crazy over-invested over-analysis. they go on forever and they talk about EVERYTHING, ugh it's so fucking gooood. they make a damn good case that something fucking happened in India.
- Taemin's fans got him a huge mess of CDs for his birthday and one of them is Belle & Sebastian's Fold Your Hands Child!! LMAO IRL omg if Taemin is a B&S fan... I'm scared to even think about what would become of me. I'd almost HAVE to love him for at least forever. Belle & Sebastian is one of those things I CANNOT have any objectivity about because they were so formative to me and my tastes/thoughts about music. When I listened to them I started to really identify things I loved about ~art/cultural products in general (a sense of humor, self-awareness, sincerity, odd narratives/character pieces, unconventional voices, etc). sigh. I want to rediscover them somehow, like listen to them anew again and get that "whoa I REALLY fucking like this" feeling.
- I have a very enthusiastic curiosity about Jonghyun's body and I am fucking obsessed with this video.
youtube comment I agree very much with: /stares at left leg for the entire video. those are some very cruel... pant-like things. jfc that first ring ding dong move, just jfcccc. it's not even just the flash of thigh, it's how his shirt lifts up too. Lucifer performance right after (lol at how the camera zooms in at the end. lol and gahhhh ;-;). & his Lucifer outfits are why I think that the stylists give him and Taemin the most sexualized/questionable outfits.
- More body fascination: LOOK AT HIS FUCKING WAIST fucking crying
- I had a lot of moments this weekend where I was like wow self you're just not very good-looking. Also I bought this really frilly party dress a few weeks ago for my aunt's birthday party on Saturday but it made me all depressed because it's too pretty for me. I tried to foist it onto my sister but surprisingly it fit her oddly. Now I don't know what to do with it! I guess I'll try to return it. It's a shame. It's soo pretty and frilly; I just can't have it around when I feel so gross in it. ~wailt~
- Trying to inventory my ~strengths. My dad said once that I'm unique in that I'm both intuitive/instinctive about my reactions to things but I'm also organized so I can analyze them. lol that goes with my INFJ Myers-Briggs personality type. I guess that makes sense because I do put a lot of stock in my feeeeelings about things and obsess about them a lot. But it's more like what Louis C.K. said, "I really am stupid, and it bothers me. Like, I wish I was more stupid, because then it wouldn't, I wouldn't, all my thoughts would just be mlllrrrgh hurr hurr. But instead here's how my brain works: it's stupidity, followed by self-hatred, and then further analysis. It's not a very efficient system of thought. I have these dumb thoughts, duhhh, and then I go WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, and then I figure it out. But the impulse is always really stupid." (Louis C.K. is really smart though!)
- I like personality tests because it's like reading meta about myself lol and I'm self-obsessed. tee hee!!!
fandom
- Key is so much more interesting than some of his stans make him sound.
- The video of Romantic at SHINee's Taiwan concert really made (makes ;~;) me worried. Jonghyun fucking skips an entire line to catch his breath and then doesn't sing the rest of the bridge with Key and Onew. Taemin and Key look over at him in surprise at the first mistake. I've talked myself down from the worst of my crazy worries but it's still pretty shocking and painful to see. I've never seen him do that before, ever. (According to this review they were all really visibly exhausted except during the Bodyguard stage crycat.) And apparently he was sick again last week? Fucking take care of yourself ;~~~;
- wrt Beatles: John/Paul is SO fucking sad. It's a legit tragedy. I'm glad they reconciled before John's death but they never fully got to reconnect after years of miscommunication and spiteful ego trips and honest hurt, and jesus they loved each other so much, not even in a shippy way. goddamn.
- relatedly, the johnheartpaul discussions pre-2008 are still my MOST favorite instances of sensibly crazy over-invested over-analysis. they go on forever and they talk about EVERYTHING, ugh it's so fucking gooood. they make a damn good case that something fucking happened in India.
- Taemin's fans got him a huge mess of CDs for his birthday and one of them is Belle & Sebastian's Fold Your Hands Child!! LMAO IRL omg if Taemin is a B&S fan... I'm scared to even think about what would become of me. I'd almost HAVE to love him for at least forever. Belle & Sebastian is one of those things I CANNOT have any objectivity about because they were so formative to me and my tastes/thoughts about music. When I listened to them I started to really identify things I loved about ~art/cultural products in general (a sense of humor, self-awareness, sincerity, odd narratives/character pieces, unconventional voices, etc). sigh. I want to rediscover them somehow, like listen to them anew again and get that "whoa I REALLY fucking like this" feeling.
- I have a very enthusiastic curiosity about Jonghyun's body and I am fucking obsessed with this video.
youtube comment I agree very much with: /stares at left leg for the entire video. those are some very cruel... pant-like things. jfc that first ring ding dong move, just jfcccc. it's not even just the flash of thigh, it's how his shirt lifts up too. Lucifer performance right after (lol at how the camera zooms in at the end. lol and gahhhh ;-;). & his Lucifer outfits are why I think that the stylists give him and Taemin the most sexualized/questionable outfits.
- More body fascination: LOOK AT HIS FUCKING WAIST fucking crying
no subject
I KNOW I was so :O!!! when I saw that!! That part's my favorite too, and it's what impressed me a lot about jjong when I first started with SHINee since he barely has time to breathe for nearly a full minute and he's always pulled it off flawlessly in all other performances. ;~;
ommmmg lololol o__o yes I have recs!! brb gathering data
I know, for some reason I think it'd fit in alright with the rest of his weird moody taste in music. I LOVE B&S SO MUCH OMG they were my first concert and it was super nice :3
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST WHY DID YOU SAY THAT LAST THING MY BRAINNNNN I WASN'T EVEN THINKING ABOUT THAT AND NOW THAT'S ALL I'M THINKING OF o__o *__* ;__;
I kind of know what you mean, I saw a pic/gif of this perf on tumblr with the caption IT'S LIKE LOOKING UP THE SKIRT OF A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN which ummm yeah. the tease of it is really kind of crazily obvious and it is feminizing? is that a word? I mean that it makes him eye candy in a passive way since he can't help what his clothes do. I'm selfish though so I push past my bothersome reservations!! it helps that he doesn't seem too uncomfortable with it? though I def don't think he likes it, to me he has he same kind of >:/ vibe as he did with the low-cut Dream Concert ~blouse~ and he's said that he didn't appreciate that top at all.
no subject
YAY RECS hehehehe
Taemin has really good taste in music, as far as i know? By which, I don't really know much, and it's just my general impression about him. He's kinda developed it surprisingly well and sensitively. I really wonder what's going on in his head sometimes.
LOL lakdsjf sorry, there's this! Which you've probably already seen, lol.
I dunno if equating flashing skin with feminizing is correct? Um, idk. But the general teasing, I guess, is okay if I know that's what the person wants, whole heartedly. I dunno if there's any exploitation going on, and it's impossible to tell from just photographs. It happens to both men and women, but esp women and young women/men. (The "Romeo" shoot for shinee still disturbs me as much as I like it. It gives me an exploitation vibe, tho that might say more about me (paranoid) than the shoot itself.) I didn't know he didn't like that!! :( I think it's really flattering for him. He's worn really deep v-neck tops too; so I guess he feels the same about that?
no subject
idk I haven't looked into it much, for some reason I think that he'd like a couple of Evanescence songs or smth lol idk why.
his body is sooooo shapely and curvy lol omg I'll say anything about him. but seriously. inner thighs why ;~;
oh yeah that wasn't a good choice of words. I guess I was responding to the "upskirt"ness of it, like the fact that it's a part of the male body (thigh/inner thigh) that isn't usually objectified. At least not in a teasing/purely aesthetic way? like I think men's legs/bodies in general are usually sexualized by showing how powerful or muscley they are, and this was just decoration. but not male =/= female, bad choice of words.
omg half the Romeo photoshoot is named I'LL SAVE YOU FROM EXPLOITATION JJONG for real. it looks very Terry Richardson/American Apparel-ish, even aside from the color scheme. they were SO weirdly fetishized during Juliette, what with Flower Boys Generation (THAT FUCKING SHOW I SWEAR) and everything.
idk about him, he complains about weird things and contradicts himself blatantly all over the place! like his own rehearsal clothes are all loose necked, wtf. (& he's pretty much what v-necks are MADE for sooo.) but here are da receipts, maybe he only disliked it so much bc it slipped off in that glorious way:
2010.05.23 22:18
Fan: [Jonghyun] ke…ke…what does oppa think about revealing your shoulders? keke
[Jonghyun] Dislike it a bit
2010.05.23 22:25
Fan: [Jonghyun] Dislike the clothes you wore yesterday? TT_TT
[Jonghyun] Mm (yes)
Fan: [Jonghyun] but i liked it......
[Jonghyun] it was very rough/boorish
no subject
keke I am a pervert :3
Ohhh, okay! Gotcha. It's more about how not westernly masculine the outfit is than anything else.
lmao oh god young shinee dancing around a pole, just, WHY
LOL KIM JONGHYUN MAKE UP YOUR MIND. I can see him both liking it and disliking it equally, which is fine and fair lol. But I want him to like it T_T so he will wear that stuff more... haha
no subject
Ahhh yeah that's a much better way to phrase it. lol the imagery of kpop/Asian masculinity is so consistently different from Western masculinity. the Lucifer outfits were kinda interesting (when they didn't look cheap as fuck). they did a lot of cool cut-out things with jjong's clothes in particular. actually jjong got a lot of eye-catching outfits during RDD as well. just talking aloud, this isn't going anywhere lol
AND MAKING JJONG SIT ON DONGHAE'S LAP AND SERENADE HIM LOL WHY
I think sometimes he just says whatever the fuck he feels like saying regardless of... anything lol. WHATEVER WEAR MORE V-NECKS