counting at war (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
kerpingtack) wrote2011-08-02 02:12 pm
kerpingtack) wrote2011-08-02 02:12 pm
axels
For reference: had my final on Wednesday, took the bus & train back home, came back yesterday in this freezing 7.5 hr trip (the bus was SO FUCKING COLD ughh) and immediately had to go to my lecture. sigh my last quarter here. I'm going crazy. whatever. I JUST HAVE TO PASS. I JUST HAVE TO PASS.
- I had a lot of moments this weekend where I was like wow self you're just not very good-looking. Also I bought this really frilly party dress a few weeks ago for my aunt's birthday party on Saturday but it made me all depressed because it's too pretty for me. I tried to foist it onto my sister but surprisingly it fit her oddly. Now I don't know what to do with it! I guess I'll try to return it. It's a shame. It's soo pretty and frilly; I just can't have it around when I feel so gross in it. ~wailt~
- Trying to inventory my ~strengths. My dad said once that I'm unique in that I'm both intuitive/instinctive about my reactions to things but I'm also organized so I can analyze them. lol that goes with my INFJ Myers-Briggs personality type. I guess that makes sense because I do put a lot of stock in my feeeeelings about things and obsess about them a lot. But it's more like what Louis C.K. said, "I really am stupid, and it bothers me. Like, I wish I was more stupid, because then it wouldn't, I wouldn't, all my thoughts would just be mlllrrrgh hurr hurr. But instead here's how my brain works: it's stupidity, followed by self-hatred, and then further analysis. It's not a very efficient system of thought. I have these dumb thoughts, duhhh, and then I go WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, and then I figure it out. But the impulse is always really stupid." (Louis C.K. is really smart though!)
- I like personality tests because it's like reading meta about myself lol and I'm self-obsessed. tee hee!!!
fandom
- Key is so much more interesting than some of his stans make him sound.
- The video of Romantic at SHINee's Taiwan concert really made (makes ;~;) me worried. Jonghyun fucking skips an entire line to catch his breath and then doesn't sing the rest of the bridge with Key and Onew. Taemin and Key look over at him in surprise at the first mistake. I've talked myself down from the worst of my crazy worries but it's still pretty shocking and painful to see. I've never seen him do that before, ever. (According to this review they were all really visibly exhausted except during the Bodyguard stage crycat.) And apparently he was sick again last week? Fucking take care of yourself ;~~~;
- wrt Beatles: John/Paul is SO fucking sad. It's a legit tragedy. I'm glad they reconciled before John's death but they never fully got to reconnect after years of miscommunication and spiteful ego trips and honest hurt, and jesus they loved each other so much, not even in a shippy way. goddamn.
- relatedly, the johnheartpaul discussions pre-2008 are still my MOST favorite instances of sensibly crazy over-invested over-analysis. they go on forever and they talk about EVERYTHING, ugh it's so fucking gooood. they make a damn good case that something fucking happened in India.
- Taemin's fans got him a huge mess of CDs for his birthday and one of them is Belle & Sebastian's Fold Your Hands Child!! LMAO IRL omg if Taemin is a B&S fan... I'm scared to even think about what would become of me. I'd almost HAVE to love him for at least forever. Belle & Sebastian is one of those things I CANNOT have any objectivity about because they were so formative to me and my tastes/thoughts about music. When I listened to them I started to really identify things I loved about ~art/cultural products in general (a sense of humor, self-awareness, sincerity, odd narratives/character pieces, unconventional voices, etc). sigh. I want to rediscover them somehow, like listen to them anew again and get that "whoa I REALLY fucking like this" feeling.
- I have a very enthusiastic curiosity about Jonghyun's body and I am fucking obsessed with this video.
youtube comment I agree very much with: /stares at left leg for the entire video. those are some very cruel... pant-like things. jfc that first ring ding dong move, just jfcccc. it's not even just the flash of thigh, it's how his shirt lifts up too. Lucifer performance right after (lol at how the camera zooms in at the end. lol and gahhhh ;-;). & his Lucifer outfits are why I think that the stylists give him and Taemin the most sexualized/questionable outfits.
- More body fascination: LOOK AT HIS FUCKING WAIST fucking crying
- I had a lot of moments this weekend where I was like wow self you're just not very good-looking. Also I bought this really frilly party dress a few weeks ago for my aunt's birthday party on Saturday but it made me all depressed because it's too pretty for me. I tried to foist it onto my sister but surprisingly it fit her oddly. Now I don't know what to do with it! I guess I'll try to return it. It's a shame. It's soo pretty and frilly; I just can't have it around when I feel so gross in it. ~wailt~
- Trying to inventory my ~strengths. My dad said once that I'm unique in that I'm both intuitive/instinctive about my reactions to things but I'm also organized so I can analyze them. lol that goes with my INFJ Myers-Briggs personality type. I guess that makes sense because I do put a lot of stock in my feeeeelings about things and obsess about them a lot. But it's more like what Louis C.K. said, "I really am stupid, and it bothers me. Like, I wish I was more stupid, because then it wouldn't, I wouldn't, all my thoughts would just be mlllrrrgh hurr hurr. But instead here's how my brain works: it's stupidity, followed by self-hatred, and then further analysis. It's not a very efficient system of thought. I have these dumb thoughts, duhhh, and then I go WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, and then I figure it out. But the impulse is always really stupid." (Louis C.K. is really smart though!)
- I like personality tests because it's like reading meta about myself lol and I'm self-obsessed. tee hee!!!
fandom
- Key is so much more interesting than some of his stans make him sound.
- The video of Romantic at SHINee's Taiwan concert really made (makes ;~;) me worried. Jonghyun fucking skips an entire line to catch his breath and then doesn't sing the rest of the bridge with Key and Onew. Taemin and Key look over at him in surprise at the first mistake. I've talked myself down from the worst of my crazy worries but it's still pretty shocking and painful to see. I've never seen him do that before, ever. (According to this review they were all really visibly exhausted except during the Bodyguard stage crycat.) And apparently he was sick again last week? Fucking take care of yourself ;~~~;
- wrt Beatles: John/Paul is SO fucking sad. It's a legit tragedy. I'm glad they reconciled before John's death but they never fully got to reconnect after years of miscommunication and spiteful ego trips and honest hurt, and jesus they loved each other so much, not even in a shippy way. goddamn.
- relatedly, the johnheartpaul discussions pre-2008 are still my MOST favorite instances of sensibly crazy over-invested over-analysis. they go on forever and they talk about EVERYTHING, ugh it's so fucking gooood. they make a damn good case that something fucking happened in India.
- Taemin's fans got him a huge mess of CDs for his birthday and one of them is Belle & Sebastian's Fold Your Hands Child!! LMAO IRL omg if Taemin is a B&S fan... I'm scared to even think about what would become of me. I'd almost HAVE to love him for at least forever. Belle & Sebastian is one of those things I CANNOT have any objectivity about because they were so formative to me and my tastes/thoughts about music. When I listened to them I started to really identify things I loved about ~art/cultural products in general (a sense of humor, self-awareness, sincerity, odd narratives/character pieces, unconventional voices, etc). sigh. I want to rediscover them somehow, like listen to them anew again and get that "whoa I REALLY fucking like this" feeling.
- I have a very enthusiastic curiosity about Jonghyun's body and I am fucking obsessed with this video.
youtube comment I agree very much with: /stares at left leg for the entire video. those are some very cruel... pant-like things. jfc that first ring ding dong move, just jfcccc. it's not even just the flash of thigh, it's how his shirt lifts up too. Lucifer performance right after (lol at how the camera zooms in at the end. lol and gahhhh ;-;). & his Lucifer outfits are why I think that the stylists give him and Taemin the most sexualized/questionable outfits.
- More body fascination: LOOK AT HIS FUCKING WAIST fucking crying
no subject
haha omg his JAMP! JAMP JAMP! is so cute yet embarrassing and ide he looked like a little baby bird trying to fly
oh, I've kind of (hopefully) been putting it down to bad lighting and bad quality photography but omg right his waist is UNBELIEVABLY SMALL, it was the first thing I noticed, hahaha.
no subject
How can he not know how stupid he looks sometimes!! I really love him. All his girrrrr pointing! lol aww baby bird! Exactly! With his weird double-jointed/inverted elbows omg lol
ah yeah, all the media from Japan has been a big step down from the insane HHHHQ from kshawols & co. so maybe it is just the CONSTANT bad lighting/quality. I just really hope they're taking care of themselves. ;; (His body is so delightful and confusing to me. I will need to get a proper unangled look at it. FOR SCIENCE)
no subject
Right! The choreography is so stupid and totally him, and lmao his inverted elbows, they make me smile :')
haha ikr, I always say being in SHINee fandom has spoiled me. I really need to find some Japanese fansites :( Off the top of my head, though, he's looked really good in the recent pictures from Blingest.
no subject
jfans don't seem to share a lot! thank god we have tonghyun and blingest. he also looked good in the reception fancams! lol idk I just worry a lot for no reason. btw have you seen this?? http://i56.tinypic.com/etyu09.jpg CRYING I love himmmm ;~; ideal boy FOR REAL
no subject
also randomly, I feel like the veins on his hands are really prominent these days and I don't know why. hahaha
no subject
I'm so torn on how they style jjong in Japan, sometimes I hate it and sometimes he looks so soft and adorable ;~; again I think the stylists do the weirdest things with him and Taemin lol
lol I haven't noticed (besides one pic from I think Dream Concert?) but I'm going to be on the look-out for that. his veins are prominent in general though lol
no subject
Me too! Can they please stop giving Taemin pants that have more tears than actual fabric :( And I will never get over the fact that Jonghyun's Replay outfit was like, made of carpet.
haha, like, it makes sense for them to be prominent in his arms, because he works out, but lately it seems less obvious in his arms and just really prominent in his hands?