throw me in the deep of jammer lake

Well you can disregard the last post. I emailed my counselor and the letter is irrelevant, I'm not dismissed from the university. Whatever. I feel like the university is just fucking with me now. The counselor couldn't have told me that there was going to be a bullshit letter? It's just too much. I'm pretty tired of this. But if I stop, I'll never be able to start again. Keep on going.

JJB is going to camp at the end of this week. I'm going to miss him so much! He is the light of my life, no joke.

I think I'm going to be okay in the end. I just wish the road there wouldn't be so hard and stupid. I've really messed up a lot. And I wish, kinda, that I will be more than okay but I really have no idea how to achieve that. I'm fine with okay. At this point it's better than the best that I can hope for.