(no subject)
Jul. 18th, 2011 01:02 pmI don't know what the fuck is wrong with me. I haven't been able to sleep more than 5 hours at a time for a week now and my mouth/jaw has hurt all weekend (it was REALLY painful yesterday) and bc I can't get enough rest it's only feeling worse. And I think it's partially caused by sleeping too since I think I'm grinding my teeth into nothingness in my sleep. I thought I was meant to meet w/ my prof before class this morning and I kept waking up at 7, 7:40, 8:10, 8:40, etc. and then my prof didn't even show up. The class is about law & society and the cases we talked about today was one where the guy secretly videotaped his girlfriend and him having sex, gossiped about it w/ his friends, and the tape got out and she was humiliated and her reputation was ruined. The Sup Ct overturned the prev appeals ct decision into his favor bc of the principle of what she tried to argue on (negligent emotional distress, fear of the slippery slope of endless liability etc) so she had to start the case all over even though all the judges unanimously agreed that his conduct was outrageous. And the other one was a murder case where a group of guys killed a transgendered girl out of ~gay panic~. They were charged with murder, they didn't get off or anything, but reading the facts made me feel sick. I didn't even finish reading the first account, there were like three different ones from the different guys involved.
And after class I talked to prof re: missing appt and she didn't even know we were supposed to meet. Even though I clearly remembered her saying Monday at 10, I still was all ~oh okay idk why I thought that I must have remembered it wrong~ and it's resched for Wednesday. I know it's no fault of my own but I still feel like I did something wrong, I didn't do it right, I wasn't clear or firm enough when rescheduling the first time, I'm not memorable, I don't talk enough in class; now I have prepare myself for this office hour thing a third fucking time and I get so fucking nervous talking to people. So anyway going down the stairs I felt like I was going to cry and I had to stop and sit down and think about my entire life lol. Now I have 5 hrs of work where I feel disrespected and socially incompetent lol. okay that's cool
And after class I talked to prof re: missing appt and she didn't even know we were supposed to meet. Even though I clearly remembered her saying Monday at 10, I still was all ~oh okay idk why I thought that I must have remembered it wrong~ and it's resched for Wednesday. I know it's no fault of my own but I still feel like I did something wrong, I didn't do it right, I wasn't clear or firm enough when rescheduling the first time, I'm not memorable, I don't talk enough in class; now I have prepare myself for this office hour thing a third fucking time and I get so fucking nervous talking to people. So anyway going down the stairs I felt like I was going to cry and I had to stop and sit down and think about my entire life lol. Now I have 5 hrs of work where I feel disrespected and socially incompetent lol. okay that's cool
